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Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 8:20 am

See Moonstar, these are the reactions you will get. They go no further than 'I cannot control to what I am attracted to'.
Not the kind of reactions you were hoping for right Moonstar? So, again, dumb and useless of you to open this topic. Nothing gained from it.



Fnord
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14 Nov 2014, 9:07 am

Moostar wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
Moostar wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
As a social psychologist I agree with you, but his topic is dumb. What do you want to gain by opening this topic? There's always people who will disagree (mostly ones that DO have 'race' preferences) with you and you won't be able to convince them. To be honest, too many topics have already been opened on this subject. A lot of them got locked. Not a very interesting nor fruitful debate.
Its anger and confusion of people mindsets. I'm aware that people are attracted to whoever they're pleased.
So what do you want to gain from this topic?
Answers, just answers on why some people would just reject others based on looks, and appeal.

Why not?

In My Opinion, a woman who maintains an angry expression, is obese, unkempt, and/or generally brutish is repulsive, and I would want nothing to do with her.

In My Opinion, a woman who maintains a cheerful expression, is slim, petite (yet shapely), well-groomed, and generally feminine is attractive, and I would want everything to do with her.

In My Opinion, Asian women are the prettiest, most attractive women on the planet.

What compelling reason would there possibly be for me to not reject a woman who is not attractive to me?


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kraftiekortie
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14 Nov 2014, 10:22 am

Moostar is saying that race alone shouldn't be a determinant of what constitutes "attractive" for the purpose of the "suitability" of a life partner.

I agree with him on that. If race is a determinant, then the person, in my opinion, has a very narrow view of things.

However, alas, all people have a right to their personal preferences.



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14 Nov 2014, 10:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Moostar is saying that race alone shouldn't be a determinant of what constitutes "attractive" for the purpose of the "suitability" of a life partner.

I agree with him on that. If race is a determinant, then the person, in my opinion, has a very narrow view of things.

However, alas, all people have a right to their personal preferences.



That is exactly what I mean. People have all the rights to not date a person if they are some what destructive. people have preferences, and like many things in life. I can deal with that. What one can gain from this topic is not EVERYONE has a preference based on race. there nothing wrong with having a preference at all. in fact, I tend to befriends with people, or try to look for a woman who attracts me with a lovely personality. I just don't reject or leave out others simply because of what they look. now if someone was to have poor hygiene issues. that's when I start to have concerns. I mean who would want to be around someone if they did took care of themselves?



Last edited by Moostar on 14 Nov 2014, 11:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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14 Nov 2014, 10:59 am

Yes, rejecting or accepting people purely on their race is dumb. On the other hand, as many have said, when you are talking about personal/intimate relationships much of the selection process, whom you find attractive is not really voluntary. It happens or doesn't happen unconciously mainly. If you find yourself limited to only certain races I do think one might widen what you find attractive by purposely exposing yourself more to people of different races and becoming accustomed to them. I think a good part of it is just unfamiliarity.



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14 Nov 2014, 11:01 am

Toy_Soldier wrote:
Yes, rejecting or accepting people purely on their race is dumb. On the other hand, as many have said, when you are talking about personal/intimate relationships much of the selection process, whom you find attractive is not really voluntary. It happens or doesn't happen unconciously mainly. If you find yourself limited to only certain races I do think one might widen what you find attractive by purposely exposing yourself more to people of different races and becoming accustomed to them. I think a good part of it is just unfamiliarity.


Agreed, its all about a level of comfort.



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14 Nov 2014, 6:02 pm

Of course, then you have those who have no idea what they're attracted to.

The first boy I ever liked had brown hair and brown eyes and was skinny, so I thought that was what I was attracted to. Then I was attracted to the lead singer of Linkin Park, who's hair colour changed a lot. So I thought it was the brown eyes, which was confirmed with my ex girlfriend. Then my ex had dark hair and dark blue eyes and was slightly overweight. Okay then. Now the man I'm in love with is tall, blonde, muscular and has the most startling blue eyes I've ever seen. Plus the guy I'm sleeping with is old, brown eyes and very overweight.

Can someone PLEASE tell me what I'm attracted to?!


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14 Nov 2014, 6:30 pm

You're attracted to whoever you're attracted to at the moment.

Most of the time, it's more than mere physical appearance.

It's that way for me. A person who is not personally compatible with me, yet is "objectively" pretty, does not appeal to me.



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14 Nov 2014, 7:55 pm

Fnord wrote:
In My Opinion, a woman who maintains a cheerful expression, is slim, petite (yet shapely), well-groomed, and generally feminine is attractive, and I would want everything to do with her.

In My Opinion, Asian women are the prettiest, most attractive women on the planet.

I feel that I should clarify this a little more.

My preference for women of a certain race originates in the features that I find attractive.

Thus, when I see a woman at a distance who seems cheerful, slim, petite (and shapely), well-groomed and generally feminine in appearance, she coincidentally turns out to be Asian, as well -- rarely have I ever met a woman of any other race who matches all of those qualities.

So yes, I have generally chosen to not not to have relationships with women who were not Asian; but only because I'm not attracted to women who are angry, obese, unkempt, and/or generally brutish in appearance -- aspects that do not seem to be common among Asian women.

I see nothing wrong with this; whether ethically, legally, or morally.


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14 Nov 2014, 9:25 pm

i don't see how it's either dumb or not dumb to have a natural preference for a particular race/races.
though i will say it is dumb for you to judge others for their own personal preferences, that is their business alone.

to me some races are just generally unattractive, and i'm sorry but appearance is not a non-factor for most people.
culture differences are also relevant.



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14 Nov 2014, 11:15 pm

This is the kind of topic where some will be called racist for having a preference, what is dumb.
I don't judge people by the colors of their skin, culture or religion (to a certain extend for religion, has I don't believe in the imaginary friend theory).
Has preference I don't have any among people, I have friends who are black, Asian, Middle Easterners, Jewish, Arabic.
But has attraction and preference when it comes to dating, then yes I do, and that I can't help it, and my preferences usually go for the Slavic type or the Italian type, so does that means I'm a racist because I'm not attracted to black girls for example? Of course not, but some will argue the contrary.


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sly279
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15 Nov 2014, 6:43 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
The main answer will be: "because I am only attracted to.... and I can't help what I'm attracted to" (BS imo). Most people can't think any further than that, so stop trying to convince these people that you cannot convince. Let it be.


why?
would it be better for them to date and fake love someone they are never attracted to just to be political correct?
seems kinda like picking on people with allergies. its not something people can control.

kraftiekortie wrote:
Moostar is saying that race alone shouldn't be a determinant of what constitutes "attractive" for the purpose of the "suitability" of a life partner.

I agree with him on that. If race is a determinant, then the person, in my opinion, has a very narrow view of things.

However, alas, all people have a right to their personal preferences.


I don't find many black women attractive. :( i don't dislike black people. I don't think its about their race but more about the facial structure that goes along with it. I don't limit myself by race. so if those black women that I find gorgeous were to be interested in me I'd pressure it like any other relationship. to me its the same as the white/asian/spanish/mexican/european women I don't find attractive.

not really something I like but it is what it is. I don't feel it makes me a racist or close minded person. :(

don't see how its much different then people who have preferences about intelligence or education. though they often tend to say thats oke but looks is bad. neither is as bad as preferences about objects and money

but I wouldn't date someone just cause they are attractive , for me love depends a lot on personality and interests then having at least some attraction



Cafeaulait
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15 Nov 2014, 6:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
The main answer will be: "because I am only attracted to.... and I can't help what I'm attracted to" (BS imo). Most people can't think any further than that, so stop trying to convince these people that you cannot convince. Let it be.


why?
would it be better for them to date and fake love someone they are never attracted to just to be political correct?
seems kinda like picking on people with allergies. its not something people can control.



It's not about politically correct here. I could care less about the should they would they.

And I think that is BS, just like I said. :)



sly279
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15 Nov 2014, 6:56 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
The main answer will be: "because I am only attracted to.... and I can't help what I'm attracted to" (BS imo). Most people can't think any further than that, so stop trying to convince these people that you cannot convince. Let it be.


why?
would it be better for them to date and fake love someone they are never attracted to just to be political correct?
seems kinda like picking on people with allergies. its not something people can control.



It's not about politically correct here. I could care less about the should they would they.

And I think that is BS, just like I said. :)


Quote:
noun
1.
nonsense, lies, or exaggeration.


so explain how who I am biologically attracted to or not attracted to at a uncontrollable level is nonsense, a lie or a exaggeration.
what's next is someone who doesn't like the taste of bear BS too?

and what about your non biological preferences?



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16 Nov 2014, 9:49 am

I'm not gonna say what race I am, but I won't date most women my race because they are more preoccupied with whether the guys they are dating/marrying are thugs or not (in other words, THEY ONLY DATE AND MARRY THUGS.). I'm not about that life, so that particular race is cut out for the most part. If I meet a nice lady who's part of my race who isn't my mom or my sister, that's fine, and I will look into getting to know her. But there are very good reasons for not wanting to date other races, or even your same race.



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16 Nov 2014, 2:41 pm

CynicalWaffle wrote:
I'm not gonna say what race I am, but I won't date most women my race because they are more preoccupied with whether the guys they are dating/marrying are thugs or not (in other words, THEY ONLY DATE AND MARRY THUGS.). I'm not about that life, so that particular race is cut out for the most part. If I meet a nice lady who's part of my race who isn't my mom or my sister, that's fine, and I will look into getting to know her. But there are very good reasons for not wanting to date other races, or even your same race.


stab in the dark, you're black?