A sarcastic article about PUAs

Post Reply New Topic

This was on the Guardian website today. This is a sarcastic piece of writing:

http://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2014/nov/14/how-to-be-a-pickup-artist-science-dapper-laughs-julien-blanc?commentpage=1[u]

"You may have noticed that many well known pick-up artists resemble a walking bag of sadness that?s been sponsored by Gillette, but they don?t seem to care. And why not? Confidence, that?s why." LOL

Sarcastic yes. Spot on, also yes.

The thing I have with PUAs is they throw out just enough truth to be dangerous. Pseudoscience or not, the effectiveness falls back on basic psychology. You don't have to be a PUA to figure a lot of this stuff out. Just take freshman-level general psychology, and maybe throw in a sociology class. You should be able to do this through the community college extension at your local vo-tech.

Good grief, if that's all it takes to be a "dating coach," I'm in the wrong freakin' business! I'll give the goods here for free.

I don't care who you are, male or female--you want the secrets to dating/relationships? My ideas are an eclectic hodgepodge collected from Dale Carnegie, Sun Tzu, 48 Laws of Power, and the Bible. And if you're not up for all that, I can simplify--it all comes down to the correct application of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I've heard it paraphrased in a movie, too, and I really like it: Do more for others than for yourself.

Seriously, if your life's focus is for the good of everyone else, you CANNOT possibly fail. Dating, making friends, running a business?does not matter. It is failproof.

Where people fail is in not applying the rule properly. If you seek the best in others for the good of yourself, i.e. you do good to see what you can get out of someone else, you've broken the rule. If you don't take a genuine interest and freely invest in their lives, you've broken the rule. Just be a good person, get involved, and don't expect anything in return. Do that, and you can't possibly fail.

That's why I like the podcast "Mating Grounds" it actually gives good advice backed up by research and real on-going science, not just basic stuff and they really dislike PUAs, they also insult autistic people sometimes, but I assume that they're only talking about the ones who are PUAs, or being what they see as honest by saying things like we need to work on our understanding of others.

I kind of agree to a certain extent, but I get the feeling that you are a natuarlly chatty, friendly sort of person. I think that the less communitive sort who lurk here have problems because we're not actually very good at talking to other human beings. It's not that we don't care about people, but we just don't know what to say and don't want to force a conversation because we don't want to come across as being fake.

Something more than just being helpful and considerate is needed. You need to be able to converse and make a connection with another person. Personally I find that very difficult. I feel like there is a glass wall between me and other people. I am friendly, I help people out when they need help. People view me as friendly and reliable, but I lack that personal touch or openess that invites another person in or that makes them feel more of a connection to me than another woman whom they inevitably end up with rather than me.