'You are a doll kind of girl' a positive thing?

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Cafeaulait
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13 Nov 2014, 10:34 am

Sooo... Me and a boy from my studies were talking about classical conditioning and our automatic responses to certain kinds of people. I told him that I have an automatic negative reaction in my mind to girls that look very well dressed, very fashionable, perfect hair, perfect make-up, and very confident. He said: 'oh so you basically dislike those doll(ish) type of girls?'. I said yes to which he responded: 'that's funny because I thought you were kind of a doll yourself'. Is this offensive or negative? In my mind, a dollish kind of girls is a girl that wears a shedload of make-up and her hair is perfectly styled and she basically looks very fake and unnatural and even a bit mean/bitchy. She might also come across as ditzy/stupid.
What do you think?
I also asked my friend if she thinks that I look like one of those dolls and she said 'I don't know about that, but when I first met you I though you were a really popular girl'. What do these things mean do you think? The girls I considered popular I also considered mean and vile.



Janissy
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13 Nov 2014, 10:48 am

It means that other people share your perception of doll-like/popular to mean visually well presented. But they don't share your negative perceptions of ditzy/stupid/mean/bitchy/vile so no insult is intended when they apply doll/popular to you. Apparently other people (2 other people at least) perceive you as somebody who carefully tends to their appearance but they see that positively rather than negatively.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Nov 2014, 11:15 am

I would smack his nose.

"Doll? f**k you!!"



lostonearth35
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13 Nov 2014, 11:46 am

He called you a doll? What, has he been watching too many old detective movies? Next he'll be calling you a dame or a broad because in the 1930's a guy could say that and not be called a sexist pig. :lol:



AngelRho
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13 Nov 2014, 1:18 pm

You're talking about superficial appearance as opposed to actual character. So what if a girl likes to dress fashionably and wear makeup?

I asked my significant other about this, and she's not one of THOSE girls at all. For her, wearing makeup is all about confidence. It's a ritual that helps her feel positive and look forward to meeting and dealing with other people. For her, it's kinda like war paint. Same thing with wearing nice clothes for work. It just "feels" professional.

Her manager wears pretty much the same kind of clothes, wears comparable makeup, and she's a complete snob. It's like comparing apple to oranges. For her, it really is all about status. She's not a very nice person and customers dread having to deal with her.

When I first met my wife, just from appearances I thought she was one of "those," one of those girls who was WAAAAAAY out of my league. I mean, so far out of my league it's not event the same sport. We agreed that the other was the last person we expected to end up with. All it proves is looks aren't everything.

As far as how to take what your guy said, don't take it anywhere. It's just an observation. You have a certain look. Maybe you're attractive, I dunno (I don't know you outside what you post on WP). Maybe you have the look of the typical popular person. At any rate, you look like people you despise, but hopefully do not act like them.



kraftiekortie
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13 Nov 2014, 2:55 pm

It's not negative.

"Doll" is an old-fashioned term for an endearing girl. It might be seen as "sexist" these days.



DoubleCatrin
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13 Nov 2014, 4:49 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
a guy could say that and not be called a sexist pig. :lol:


wow poor you guys seem to be having a hard time with that ...

well Cafe... you might see it as negative but they may not.
If you fear you might be like that kind of person just do some introspection ^_^ and see for yourself if you turned into one...


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Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 5:52 am

Alright, thanks guys. I hardly wear any make up but I dress fashionably and take care of my hair. I guess they boy didn't mean it in a negative way.



em_tsuj
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14 Nov 2014, 11:25 pm

It sounds like he thinks you put effort into looking good (have good hygiene and fashion sense).



anthropic_principle
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15 Nov 2014, 12:19 am

sounds like a remark only an internet feminists would find offensive



Cafeaulait
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15 Nov 2014, 2:39 am

anthropic_principle wrote:
sounds like a remark only an internet feminists would find offensive


Cute. I am a feminist, on the internet, and real life, but I don't neccesarily find it offensive, depending on what is meant.



886
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15 Nov 2014, 5:16 am

it's hard to say. being a doll.. when a guy says it, i think it means a girl who noticeably cares a lot about being beautiful, like the type to spend 2 hours on make up and clothes? but it could just mean someone beautiful to the next guy. it's neither offensive or not offensive, depending on who said it.

not much help :?


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123entropy
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17 Nov 2014, 10:41 am

I think it sounds like a backhanded compliment, but (he meant it as) a compliment nonetheless.



djw2398
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20 Nov 2014, 10:53 am

They are just saying that you are an attractive girl. I'd take it as a compliment.