Are crushes completely irrational?

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I had this crush on my classmate for a while now. After sort of rationalising the whole thing, I realised how ridiculous the whole thing is. While there are obvious reasons for attraction (the usual: similar interests, random/spontaneous, deep conversions, good sense of humour etc), I actually know little about her.

I find that I do miss being around her, but just to make it more annoying, she is prone to pulling the disappearing act. Not sure if it is because of s**t reception (my other friends actually have communication problems) or that's just her. Though from other classmates, it seems to be the later...

Crushes are usually a bit impulsive?

I don't think they're irrational -- they're perfectly natural. After all, we're all longing for a deep personal connection with someone. It's when a crush develops into a full-blown obsession that it becomes irrational -- especially when the other party isn't on the same page. When that happens, you'd better ground yourself rapidly or it will spiral out of control.

Having a crush on someone you like is really natural. If you want that someone to like you, just say hi first, then have a little conversation about each other, help each other what problems you two are having and how to solve them, then when the time is right go and ask for a date. Not all at once, though, only step by step.

Emotions are irrational.

Completely natural. Crushes have the absolute highest reward and nothing can beat that. I think that's also why they tend to be or become obsessive. Crushes just are the highest level of obsession possible, easily surpassing special interests and any other type of addiction.

Not really. Crushes are always obsessive. It's just that when there is no reciprocal interest they become problems. Especially because the natural outcome of a crush is a relationship, and if the other party isn't interested then you might get stuck.

Perfectly normal

I dunno if I agree with that…I think there are situations in which, for instance, it's reasonable to feel angry, or sentimental, or whatever.

Emotions themselves are just emotions…they are neither rational nor irrational. They are things, just like material things or other abstract things. Why not ask if a car is rational? Or is a toilet rational? There are rational paths to the decision to invent a car or use a toilet. Crush/love/sympathy/anger/confusion are merely what they are. Your basis for becoming angered or developing a crush may be more or less rational, but an emotion itself has nothing to do with it.

That said, I think probably crushes boil down to some sort of subjective preference that leads to an intense, one-sided attraction. I don't mind admitting that I'm married and still develop crushes on other women. But at the same time I also recognize that acting on those feelings would be wildly inappropriate and would ruin at least 5 people's lives. We are all emotional people and cannot escape that. But we DO get to decide whether we allow ourselves to be ruled squarely by emotions or we take time to think things through before acting.

My usual round of dating advice has that in view. You should keep your crushes to yourself for the most part, i.e. don't act on them and don't discuss them (with people you're close to, especially if they're close to the object of your crush). Crushes are distracting. You metaphorically attach yourself to someone, and the odds of reciprocation are strongly against you. If you get emotion out of the way and actually THINK about it, it's an absolutely INSANE way to try to get into a relationship.

And what's even more INSANE is how many relationships actually form that way. Why do people insist on all that headache and heartbreak?

Now, the closer you are to someone, and the more you get to know someone, the stronger the odds of reciprocation. The more time you spend with someone on less than romantic terms, the easier it's going to be to find someone who will reciprocate. The emotional side of us latches on and refuses to let go, wasting time while some other girl or guy catches the attention of the person who'd have been the best match.

Having a crush on someone isn't all that irrational. It's pursuing that crush, and only THAT crush that is utterly senseless and, dare I say it, unintelligent. If you have some way of knowing it's a sure bet, by all means go for it. Odds just aren't in your favor from the outset. TAKE YOUR TIME and don't rush anything.

Completely normal I have had crushes In the past but very few.

Perfectly said.

not always. but they can just be intense attraction, which i guess is irrational.

Yes, they are often times a but impulsive. It's because crushes aren't usually based on conscious thought. We fall in love because we associate certain qualities of the other person (physical, mental) with positive things (a lot of the times from our past). The feelings then become so strong that we forget to overlook the bad qualities of that person.

I think that the element of fantasy has a lot to do with many crushes. If you don't really know them you can project positive qualities onto them that they don't possess.

Irrationality is normal.