Do you understand that the opposite sex wants you?

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Hi, new here.

I can not understand that the opposite sex wants me (I'm a guy, so, for me, that would be women).

I can not believe that women want men. We are hairy and lumpy and smelly. I can not understand why any woman could possibly want that. Intellectually, I know that women want men, but that's the only way I can understand it. (I have no problems with lesbians: we both agree that women are the most beautiful creatures on the planet, and should be worshipped as such)

I have had women who 'loved' me (including my last one and only gf), but I can only know it intellectually. I think I naturally believe that they are brain-addled; I can think of no other explanation of why they would want me.

I can't get any gumption up to do dating again, after 10 years. I can not believe that when talking to a woman, her desires and goals could possibly include me. Many people I know suggest I should just 'get a gf' if I'm lonely, but can't get any energy to do so. In any other endeavor with other humans, I can understand that their 'goals' might coincide with mine (comics, games, food). But not this.

Anyone else feel this way?

Not all guys are hairy, unless they're werewolves!


I'll be serious now... I'd like to know why you guys want us girls!

Because you can be soft and gentle one minute, then kick the s**t out of someone the next! Other than that, it's something intangible. Plus, as a straight man, I'm looking for a partner that I am sexually as well as mentally attracted to. And about the hairy, smelly, lumpy? I'm just hairy. That's it. As far as the energy goes, I've been single for a year and a half now. I've gone through bouts of "I quit." It sucks.

Oooh, I can do that!

Makes more sense to want women, because they aren't always yelling at you, getting into fights, and drinking beer.

And for some reason the ones that do somehow manage to be even more attractive.

Wait. This argument makes no sense.

I feel this way, but I know I can't understand what anyone could like about guys because my brain is wired up as a straight man. Being a woman must be pretty different. I don't smell, I shower everyday. What do you mean by lumpy?

You look nice, you give a form of emotional support, you feel good, and... well.. you know.

The answer to both questions:


A man, after arguing with his wife asks God, "Why did you make women so beautiful?"

God: "so men would be interested in them"

man: "but why did you make them so stupid?"

God: "so they would be interested in you"



Honestly, I have no idea why women would be interested in even the most attractive of males. But, I suspect that it usually has a lot less to do with appearances, and more to do with other factors (which may be reflected in appearance).

How are men lumpy? Well, women are curvy, so that makes men lumpy.

I have not been clear enough in my OP.

I'm not asking if you understand how the opposite sex wants you. I'm asking if you understand that they do want you.

When you look at the opposite sex, do you believe that they could possibly be interested in you (beyond mere information sharing)? That they could want, and desire you. That they would want to make room in their busy schedule for you. That they could possibly, one way or another, love you.

When I look at a woman, I can not possibly believe that she could ever love me. Or want me. Or desire me. There seems to be little point in talking with them, except for just quick conversation.

Guys want sex. That's the only conclusion i've ever come to.

Well, if I can't understand the how of something, I'm sure not going to believe it.

You also seem to mix between the general and the specific. I definitely don't see why women would be interested in most men. Me, on the other hand....

You are right. I did mix the general with the specific, without realizing it.

So, there's two things:
1. I don't understand or inherently believe that the opposite sex wants the... um, opposite opposite sex.

2. I don't believe that the opposite sex could possibly want or desire me.

I've talked with NTs recently; they believe and know that the opposite sex could want them. And then they go out and meet the opposite sex, get lucky, etc.

All these years. It's like I've been running a race, and keep tripping and slamming into trees and walls, and then found out that I'm BLIND and all the other racers have this weird miraculous thing called VISION. No wonder they've been so successful.

Yeah? But so do women. I've been treated like a piece of meat enough times to understand this.

Back to the issue: it rather makes sense that opposite sexes would be attracted to one another - otherwise the species just wouldn't go on. On the specific, well it depends. As soon as I am approached, I think that I send off "Get away from me" messages. I stumbled into a conversation between a couple of my colleagues (one female one male) which really pointed out our weakness; the woman had been contacted through some online dating service by a guy who was interested in her. He started his correspondence off with, "I know that I'm not as muscular as you are interested in, nor do I have the enlarged frontal lobe that you desire, but I am fairly intelligent...and before my membership runs out, I'd like to meet you."

First off, I can't understand anyone having this kind of guts. Hell, even if I perfectly matched someone's stated desires, I wouldn't contact them. But also, notice the absolute lack of self confidence. She did end up meeting with him (her claim was that it was out of boredom) - and then ended up complaining to us (well not really to me, but I was there) about how this guy just sat there, and that it was like pulling teeth to get him to speak at all. And I'm just wondering (and actually asked her) what did she expect? I mean, given the initial contact, this was obviously not the kind of person who would be vivacious and charming on a first meeting. He probably lurked about on this dating site, trying to find enough courage to contact anyone. I know that I've logged onto sex chat sites, and just ran away, afraid to deal with actual people on the other end. But, you know, she may have missed a perfect critter out there (I doubt it though, given how shallow she's always seemed to me).

I think like this a lot,girls look at me but don't often talk to me,several older people male and female have said I am handsome in a complementary non sexual way so if the latter are telling the truth I wonder if this has got anything to do with them looking at me.

My social skills or lack of them are the reason I am single,everyone wants someone who is self confident and good at communicating and I'm just a good old aspie

Relationships should be about far more than that,western culture is sex mad and this wrecks proper relationships and leads to men seeing women as just objects rather than beings.

No one has ever been interested in me and frankly I dont care anymore.