OkCupid: 8 Reasons

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While I spend too much time thinking about a boyfriend and sexual endeavors. I figured I wanted to share my opinion on OkCupid. I will give a list of 8 reasons why it is a terrible dating site (at least for me).

- This website feels like Build-A-Bear in the form of selling out to some Cliche human being who has no sense of empathy whatsoever.

- I had found a date. I HAD. After three dates, he decided to say that I am not ready for a relationship and we could be friends. He told me how I deserved to know how he feels and that I'm a good guy. Good luck saying that to like 4904984 people you're putting on and off.

- Many of the guys are neurotypical and unempathetic, pop music fans, I'm for gay rights and only about it, all hail the minimum wage, hook up life, and perceptions are lopsided for them.

- They will tell you "I'm not interested" as hurtful as that seems if they actually are not interested. I have gotten that many times after a casual hello.

- I had several guys I would start talking to and eventually just ended up uninteresting and it just did not work.

- I have found my ex-best friend/enemy on there and he messaged me saying don't look at my profile. It's on the internet, end of story.

- I have found co workers on there I would love to do things with, but obviously they would never be interested in me anyway. It would be awkward too.

- You will hardly, if not, never find a boyfriend with autism/aspergers or any kind of disability. (Which is what I want)


To be honest, I am just really concerned if I really will find anyone. On Wrong Planet I think it would be a great idea to find a nice man. Maybe.

I needed to rant. Thanks for reading.

Sounds like you think it's a terrible dating site. You should close your account.

How long have you been using the site?

Unfortunately there are not many aspies in the world so it takes longer to find one

Also, most of your issues seem to be with the people you met on the site as opposed to the actual site itself. The same could apply to any dating website, really.

Or to even a traditional dating scenario

Yes that is true. It is unfortunate that I go through much difficulty, but that is what makes me a whole.

I've been giving OKCupid a go recently as well. I don't think I should complain about it.

Thus far, I've interacted with a few women there and they were pretty interesting exchanges. Nothing ended in a date, but hey... I'm not there just for the sake of dating. I'm cool meeting new people there as well. But dating is probably why I'm there primarily; making new friends, sure thing.

That said, I've been on a few other sites and I found they were n-times worse than OKCupid. At least even a free account on OKC gives you some stuff to work with, compared to sites that don't even give you to option to send a message to someone if you think they're interesting.

I'm not looking for someone on the spectrum specifically, even though I know that an NT in most cases will not result in something fruitful. Those are my personal experiences and dating history. But who knows; I've been having a blast interacting with a few ladies I met online on various sites without dropping AS, so perhaps there is hope that some are totally cool with me just being me.

As others pointed out, the problem isn't OKCupid, it's dating sites in general. The things you describe are things I hear about any of these dating websites; people saying they're not interested, the type of people there being bland and not interesting enough. Perhaps you also just cater to the wrong crowd. Or just look at the wrong people.

It's quite interesting in that I've been active on a dating website, a dutch one, that profiles itself as a website for people more into alternative stuff (alternative music and such), yet on OKCupid I've found way more women with whom I had shared interests, that go beyond music, but even delve into stuff like being into the same comics, writers, movies and the list goes on. So for that I can't really complain how OKCupid is a terrible website. The same can be said about Plentyoffish; found a few lovely ladies there. Though a few other of these datingsites, they just show me the most bland women whom I could never see myself get with; to me those are the type of women good for a one night stand, something I'm not looking for at all anyway.

But given I've been single for not even 3 months, I'm just trying to test the waters a bit first. See what people are looking for and chat with people first. I'll see how it goes down. It also means I haven't been awfully active to arrange dates. Right now I'm not that interested in dating I guess; unless perhaps, the right person shows up.

I'm still on OKcupid, still trying. I do cater to the wrong people. I wish there was some kind of alternate dating site.

There are a lot of other dating sites out there.. as well as gay specific ones - or phone apps.

Yes, I'm well aware that most/all gay dating sites/apps are more hookup than ltr oriented. However, if you're no there looking for a date/ltr then chances are there must be others looking for the same.. besides hookups, I've met a few friends, friends with benefits in the past, and more recently have been chatting with a guy I'm interested in meeting - all of these guys were on hookup sites; none of them were particularly interested in one night stand hookups. Actually, the guy I've been chatting with recently is from one of these sites & I messaged him and said point blank that I was over the hookup scene and that he was my "type" and I wanted to see if he was interested in chatting.. so far so good w/ chatting & we're planning on meeting soon to see if we click in person.

Long story short, don't discount the hookup sites entirely.. there are real guys on them, too.

im too weak for dating sites.. i have a profile up somewhere but i cant bring myself to check it because i fear either troll msgs or a distinct lack of any msgs at all. and i'd never msg anyone else because that's just another way to get rejected. also i'm attractive enough to where i shouldn't have to.

There weren't enough local guys for me on OKC. Plus my profile was a bit boring so I never got many messages. Hell I never even got many profile views, even from guys who matched me near 100%. I mean even if my picture doesn't appeal surely you'd take a glance, just to see if the match % is lying. I know I did, I viewed lots and lots of profiles.

I kinda stopped logging in after a guy I met on PoF didn't want to talk to me anymore after being friends for a year or so (and no I didn't friendzone him). He turned up on OKC and he blocked my profile straight away lol, and I didn't wanna see his face in my matches list so I left. He matched me about 98% too.

I might go back one of these days but I just can't be arsed to write my profile. It will be a doozy when I do though.

I am on okcupid for month or something like that. For all this time I've found no girl which could share at least part of my interests - 99% seems to be almost similar by personality, they love family, cats/dogs, contemporary music, making (or having) fun, smiling (this is interest in life? hah), socialising in clubs or bars, reading harry potter (really a lot of 24-28 age), watching some movies of last years I've never heard about before... I'm sure I'll never find girlfriend there.

I just straight up delete my account. I took a weight off my shoulders. No more pain for nothing.

Hate to say it, but all dating sites are a total waste of time.

Disagree.

They may well be a waste of time for you, CynicalWaffle, but they certainly are not a waste of time for everyone. I have much more success there than I do in the "real world", and I know others who are the same. If they really are a waste of time for everyone surely they would have died out by now.