So here's the latest situation

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A week from yesterday i will be flying up to Detroit to meet this girl up there that my stepmom had found out about.

She seems really shy and inexperienced with relationships, 3 yrs younger than me, graduating high school this year.

So I guess I need advice about what i should do on our first date.

PS i live in Atlanta

Talk about what interests you. If she's right for you, it will mesh. If not, it ain't worth it.

Keep it light and funny. Let her do most of the talking, the more you say the more chance you have of making a fool of yourself or offending her. If you let her talk she will reveal whether you like her or not anyway.

This is the best possible advice in the world by the way. It is not something I have made up but is based on a lot of empirical research by a fine man that I consider a social genius, though also happens to mince big words.

I absolutely disagree. For me, I just can't maintain the non-verbal communication necessary to make someone realize that I'm interested. The vibrancy only comes when I am speaking about something that I'm passionate about. If this evolves into a conversation - you're golden. If not, well, it's hard, but there's probably no hope; and when it comes down to it, do you really want to spend a lot of time with someone you have nothing in common with?

have fun, best advice I can give anyone about anything <except war, that one is "survive" but that's probably not applicable here>

What are you disagreeing with? I mean how hard is it just to nod your head and say "oh yeah? tell me more" People love talking about themselves in general. Don't go saying I am wrong just because of your personal issues, my advice is most applicable to NT girls which I assume this date is. I think some people with AS deliberately make up reasons why it's ok to be pathetic because of AS whether it really is or not. Don't let this way of thinking take over.

If you want a girlfriend then you need to come to the realisation that there is some GIVE from your end as well as take. There is no way of getting around this! Accept it or be single forever (Or stuck in a really dismal relationship). I am not saying put up with someone who grinds on your nerves, embarasses you or drives you crazy. Letting the girl talk is a way of buying time with her so that you can get to a point where you can divulge all that interests you and have her lap it up and be interested because you did it for her first (Giving).

I'm actually suggesting the opposite. My own experience is to just listen. The conversation dies. The girl gets bored. The only times that I've had any success with dealing with people, and not having them bored, is when I am genuinely excited about the topics. I'm not sure what point you think that there is to dealing with someone whom you have nothing in common with.

It's not like I'm suggesting that someone dominate the conversation (although that is often what seems expected), but that he not just sit there like a bump on a log. Some people have the social skills to be able to correctly express interest without speaking much. I sure don't.

That is very nice!

I hope things work out for you!

Do something fun. What do you both consider fun?

Sitting and talking puts a lot of pressure on you both. Keep things light and fun on the first few dates. If you hit it off really well, then you can talk more and get to know each other better...gradually, over time. For now, avoid too much pressure.

If you both like to talk, then go to a coffeehouse or diner or someplace you can lounge a while and just eat, drink and talk. But ideally I'd say do the fun, active thing first, and then go someplace to eat if it went very well. Because the ice will be broken (tension gone). If you both feel awkward and have no activity planned (even a movie would be OK), then you might end up just sitting and staring at each other uncomfortably.

Don't plan an athletic date though, unless she has said she loves that type of thing. Most girls do not want to get sweaty and stinky on a date, especially a first date. If she loves to hike though and so do you, that's different.

More clues as to what your personalities and likes are, would help.

Calandale, man you are not listening to me. Either that or you don't understand what I'm saying. If you come to a place such as Wrong Planet looking for answers to things then you need to have an open mind. All your interested in is fighting me instead of asking me to explain further. You must be in your teens or something ?

You seem to think that listening involves never saying anything at all and communicating solely through body language. Like I said just a nod of the head every so often and showing interest verbally is all you need to do. People constantly tell me what a good listener I am and these are the two things I do.

Or something.

Look, I'm thinking that we are very different people. I've lived long enough to know that I can't listen the way that you do. Given that there are differences, expressing both views is important. It is absolutely clear that your advice would drive someone away from me. Now, the original poster is flying to Detroit in order to meet this girl - presumably they already have some topics which interest them both. I know that the energy and excitement that I bring when discussing things which interest me is infectous, and perhaps presumed that it is the case for all of us. I'm probably wrong there, but at least this side has to be discussed.