Why can't I get past 3 dates?

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graduate122
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30 Dec 2014, 3:33 pm

I am getting seriously annoyed because ever since I started dating (and I don't do it very often), I will like a girl, go on 2 or 3 dates with her, and then drops off the face of the planet. Meaning, she'll stop responding to texts, never respond and tell me if why it's over, or even if it is over (to be fair, I don't have an actual an actual comittment with any of them).

I am wondering about a series of things:

1. Is it normal, if they meet someone else or whatever, to cease contact without any explanation or even telling the person afterwards? As I said, it's usually about 2 or 3 dates, without any actual comittment.
2. What have some of you others tried that has allowed you to keep a relationship with an Nt?
3. Where can I Meet an Aspie in SC?
4. How can I prevent them from choosing someone else over me?

Thanks.



Butterfiend
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30 Dec 2014, 3:38 pm

graduate122 wrote:
I am getting seriously annoyed because ever since I started dating (and I don't do it very often), I will like a girl, go on 2 or 3 dates with her, and then drops off the face of the planet. Meaning, she'll stop responding to texts, never respond and tell me if why it's over, or even if it is over (to be fair, I don't have an actual an actual comittment with any of them).

I am wondering about a series of things:

1. Is it normal, if they meet someone else or whatever, to cease contact without any explanation or even telling the person afterwards? As I said, it's usually about 2 or 3 dates, without any actual comittment.
2. What have some of you others tried that has allowed you to keep a relationship with an Nt?
3. Where can I Meet an Aspie in SC?
4. How can I prevent them from choosing someone else over me?

Thanks.


I'm in a similar situation as you. But I've gotten up to 5 dates before. I don't think dating another aspie will be any different. :(


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graduate122
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30 Dec 2014, 4:54 pm

I'd love to try it with another Aspie.



alex
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30 Dec 2014, 4:56 pm

what happens during the dates? does she appear to like you or not?


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graduate122
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30 Dec 2014, 5:24 pm

I'll go into more detail about what happens during the dates later.

They all seem to like me. One of them and I shared a lot, and were even texting and making plans like we were bf and gf. But then out of the blue, they stop responding to me.



886
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31 Dec 2014, 4:54 am

it is unfortunately socially acceptable to just cease contact with someone when they lose interest. they don't explain it in the slightest, they just lose interest for whatever reason and disappear.


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graduate122
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31 Dec 2014, 10:41 am

How many dates would it be socially unacceptable for them to disappear without explanation?

I would think (and of course I'm far from an expert) that three would warrant some contact (a text or something).

The most likely thing is they meet someone else.



Vomelche
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31 Dec 2014, 2:28 pm

By third date they got a good picture of you and made the final decision. Its kind of like looking for a job, the employer generally won't call you back after an interview if they are not interested. Other than trying to be more attractive, there is not much you can do but keep trying with different people until you get a match.



1df5e76
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31 Dec 2014, 2:55 pm

I don't know, but I can't even get past the first date, so I guess at least you're doing something right.



RetroGamer87
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02 Jan 2015, 3:59 pm

1df5e76 wrote:
I don't know, but I can't even get past the first date, so I guess at least you're doing something right.

Ditto.


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graduate122
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02 Jan 2015, 4:51 pm

Oh,I rarely get past 1 myself. LOL The first time a woman ceased contact out of the blue, I got in a little trouble, not with the law or anything, as I didn't understand that this was socially acceptable. I now know not to do this again, but I still would like to know what I do for this to keep happening.



1df5e76
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02 Jan 2015, 9:30 pm

Yeah, just ignoring someone you've actually met is pretty rude if you ask me. Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of rude people out there!



Vomelche
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03 Jan 2015, 9:03 am

1df5e76 wrote:
Yeah, just ignoring someone you've actually met is pretty rude if you ask me. Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of rude people out there!


Yeah, its also immature and egocentric.



graduate122
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03 Jan 2015, 10:21 am

With one, it's fine. She can ignore me to her heart's content. 2, it's questionable. But three, I really think some form of communication is in order.



KayteeKay
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03 Jan 2015, 6:02 pm

graduate122 wrote:
How many dates would it be socially unacceptable for them to disappear without explanation?

I would think (and of course I'm far from an expert) that three would warrant some contact (a text or something).

The most likely thing is they meet someone else.


I don't have a specific rule about the number of dates I've been on with a guy that warrants a "thanks but no thank you" call.

My take is that only official boyfriends (a guy with whom I've had a conversation about dating exclusively with, where both of us agreed to be "exclusive") are entitled to a break up call.

Some guy I went on three or seven dates with? Isn't owed an explanation.

(Obsessively calling/texting/emailing a girl who has elected not to return your messages? Is stalking. Or close to it. And a 100% guarantee she will not only never wanna see you again, but tell everybody she knows you're a nutter. Just sayin').



sly279
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04 Jan 2015, 4:42 am

I think all HUMANS deserve an explanation. anything else is rude and treatings like they don't matter.
all jobs I've applied to send emails, call or heck some send personal letters in the mail. why? seems a waste of their time and money. perhaps cause they decide to treat others as human beings so even if they don't want to hire them they treat them with respect people deserve. dating is way way more personal yet people are so rude and inconsiderate.