Hypersensitivity to touch causes problems. Advice?

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I am, among other things, hypersensitive to touch. I don't know exactly what I feel when touched but I don't like being touched unless I'm the one who initiates it (which doesn't happen that often). Otherwise it sort of feels like people invade my personal space, the touch feels suffocating and I feel like I need to get away from the situation. This is a big problem in my relationship to my boyfriend since he's a person who needs hugs and kisses etc. Our needs clash and even though we both try to compromise it's really difficult to manage this. I actually just talked to him about it (he started the conversation) and he even cried a little because he feels like physical touch is missing from our relationship (it's not entirely absent but he doesn't get as many hugs as he'd like) and he's scared he won't be able to deal with that in the long run.

I really don't know what to do. I care about him and I don't want to hurt him but at the same time I don't know how to change. I don't know how to not feel like my personal space is invaded when he (and other people) touch me when I don't want to be touched and I don't know how to get rid of the feeling of suffocation and discomfort (I don't know how else to describe it). I don't know how to do that.

Need some advice. Any of you got any suggestions on how to solve this problem?

Would it help if you initiated it more often? Like even if you don't crave it, could you start it more often so that it's not as bad as him starting it and allows him to get the touching?

To some extent, if he's super touchy-feely and you're super-not, that's just not a good match-up. If you compromise, then you're both never quite happy with it, and if one of you gives in to the other, then one is totally miserable. I'd try to think of any ways that he can get more touch and you get your space violated less (like if having you initiate it more often would help), but if you can't come up with anything, then this may just mean things won't work out well. I'm not saying "If you can't come up with anything, break up with him", but realize that either of you giving in isn't the solution.

My boyfriend doesn't like me to just randomly touch him too much (like if we're riding in the car, he doesn't want my hand resting on his leg), but I like touch. What worked for us was to have him be more touchy himself so that I don't have to be touchy, so that means that he might put his hand on my leg and then I can enjoy being touched, instead of me putting my hand on his...and it's not every time (actually somewhat rare), but because he initiates a lot of the touching, it's at a time and in a way that works well for him, but because he's made a habit of doing it frequently, it's enough to make me happy, too.

I almost feel sorry for all those aspie girls with touch or sex issues