A few questions on dating...

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1) what are good first date ideas? There's a few places in mind but it puts me in a position of possible sensory overload....and I'm not a nice person when I get to that point.
2) when do you tell the person you're dating or considering to date that you have aspergers?
3)I know that physical contact (just innocent touch) is common if a person is attracted to someone, but it makes me so uncomfortable (but at the same time I crave it- its complicated) I don't want to give them the wrong idea when they put a hand on my shoulder and I shy away.

1.) Something casual like meeting for coffee or lunch. It's better to keep it short and simple, and just get to know who the person is.
2.) Never, or only when you're well into a committed relationship and you have complete trust in the person
3.) If their contact makes you jump back, just be honest and explain it to them. Make sure that they know that you do like them and are attracted to them, but that too much touching can make you uncomfortable. I say that because if you just jump back, a lot of people would take that as "Whoa, she's totally not interested! Abandon ship!" Try to work up to it slowly, and hopefully over time you will become less sensitive to touch. The important thing here is open and honest communication.

Parks make great dates, too, especially in the winter when fewer kids are around. My AS partner and I spent a LOT of time there before we started hanging out at each others' houses. Most towns have at least one or two parks that would work for early dating - not too many loud kids, but not so secluded that s/he thinks you're going to kill him/her.

I wouldn't hide the fact that you have AS or feel like it's some huge thing to break to them. Most people don't really know anything about AS, so if you just mention it offhandedly, it can just be like saying "I have red hair" and they won't think anything more of it. Later as they learn more, they'll understand more...but if you save it up for some big huge confession, then it seems like the world is ending. I think for most potential partners, when they first find out you have AS, it will be as big of a deal as you make it and not any more.

I'm not AS (on here because my man is), but I found physical touch very awkward at first because I didn't grow up with it (like, my family only did anything like hug if one of us was going to be gone for weeks traveling - no physical affection around the house). So, being shy with physical touch may be something that your intended has experienced before. If you don't want to mention the AS right off, I would consider what other explanations may also be valid - for example, if you aren't very touchy with your family, you could say something to the effect that you're not use to physical displays of affection cause your family didn't do that much, so you appreciate it but will take some time to get used to it.

Like Stargazer said, most important thing is open and honest communication. This is true for any relationship, but perhaps especially for neurodiverse ones.

I asked him to hang out and he said yes! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddgggggeeeeee idontknowwhattodo