Dating 4 Dummies

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Dating doesn't have to be nerve-wracking, but it does require preparation. You must do some up-front soul searching to make sure you're ready to be honest, open, and attentive. You need a strong sense of your dating expectations so you can clearly communicate what you're looking for without setting the bar so high that no one can clear it. You must be cautious about how and where you meet potential dates, especially if you're looking online. And you should remember that a date is just a date — and it can actually be fun! Whether your long-term goal is to get married and start a family or to set sail around the world in a sailboat built for two, you start in the same place: on a first date.

How to Ask for a First Date
Asking for a first date can be intimidating, but it's not the end of the world if the answer is no. To better the chances of getting a yes when you ask for a first date, stay flexible, keep things light, and use these tips:

-Ask for a Wednesday or Thursday night. Never ask for a first date for a Friday or Saturday night (too big as date nights) or Monday (everyone hates Mondays).

-Offer a specific opportunity (as well as alternative days). If you say, "Would you like to go out sometime?" you leave yourself absolutely no way out if the person says no, and if the answer is yes, you still have to ask the person out.

-Offer options. Options can include the day, time, activity, and transportation. Options make you sound organized without being rigid.

-Ask for a first date a week to ten days in advance (but you can break this rule with impunity as the need arises).

-Go for it when you're having a good day. You're cuter when you're happy, and self-confidence is sexy.

-Think KISS (Keep It Simple, Sweetie). All you want to do here is send a clear, gentle, but important message: I'd like to spend some time getting to know you better. Are you interested?


Flirting Tips for Dating
-When you're on a date, flirting is a delightful way to make your date — and you, for that matter — feel irresistible and tingly all over. The point of flirting with your date is interest; that's why it's so alluring. Here are some flirting do's and don'ts:

-Use your whole body. Lean forward, make eye contact, smile, bend your knees a bit, and relax your hands and arms. Make very, very sure your breath is very, very sweet: no onions, garlic, coffee, or ciggy in the recent past.

-Make eye contact. Looking someone in the eyes is very alluring. And it makes your date feel like he or she has your undivided attention, which is as it should be.

-Smile, don't smirk. Smile openly and sincerely — it's irresistible.

-Pay attention. No looking like you're trying to remember if you fed the cat.

-Lighten up; don't bulldoze. Telling your date she or he is incredibly hot isn't flirting; it's steering your dating experience directly into a mountain.

-Focus on your partner, not yourself. Make your date feel as though every word is a pearl of wisdom.

-Enjoy yourself. Fun is the flirter's playground. And once you're having fun, it's easy to get others to play.


How to Date with Confidence
Dating doesn't have to turn your nerves upside down. Learn to manage your stress and make it work for you. To calm yourself and get ready to have a great time on your date, try these stress-busting techniques.

Square breathing
To relax before a date or any other potentially anxiety-ridden experience, try square breathing: Inhale to the count of four, hold to the count of four, exhale to the count of four, and hold for four. With practice, you can increase each side of the "square" to a count of eight or even twenty; the longer the count, the slower and more calming the breathing — just no gasping, please.

Affirmations
To calm yourself and quell any surges of anxiety, try an affirmation. Repeat after me:

"I'm a fun, interesting, worthy person."

"I deserve success and happiness."

"A date is only a date — it's not do-or-die time."

"I'm calm and fearless."

"I will enjoy myself tonight, and my date will, too."

"No one will know or care what happened on this date 500 years from now."

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." (Helen Keller).

You might want to add the link to the page you copy and paste things from next time you post another person's words.

Source: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/h ... -date.html

I didnt steal it from them. They stole it from me.

Those dang thieves!

Good stuff. I'm just not a big fan of date-dating. I think it's an outmoded convention.

The article did point some things out I strongly agree with. What cannot be stressed enough is that a date is just an opportunity to get to know someone better, and there need not be any more expectations than that.

Not crazy about the advice to ask a week or more in advance. I think you should ask at the first opportunity. Let's say you meet someone on Tuesday, you talk for a few minutes, you decide you really like him/her. So you just ask, "Hey, I've enjoyed talking with you about… I need to get going, but are you busy during lunch tomorrow? I'd love to pick it up then!" So you agree to time/place, and there you go…you got a date.

Not a date-date, just a couple of people with common interests doing lunch and chatting for a while. So before you wrap up your lunch date, you say something like, "Hey! I had a great time. I enjoyed talking about _____ and thought that ______was really interesting. I have to get back to work. But how would you feel about getting together after work on Friday? I'd love to pick this back up then."

Asking someone on a date for that weekend after Wednesday is not cool. If you ask her on a Thursday or Friday, THEN suggest that you get together NEXT Friday or Saturday. The main thing is getting a date as quickly as you can, so I don't 100% agree with the whole ask X weeks in advance thing.

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