What questions should I ask to strangers?

Post Reply New Topic

People tell me how I should ask those, whether strangers or otherwise, appropriate questions. Unfortunately, that's not how my brain functions. I need to also understand lists of good things to ask and in what exact wording. It's a real shame.

How can I just relax without having to rely on a script or a list? My brain functions pretty funny sometimes.

I've given up on this. It just seems so pointless to me. Someone will make a suggestion to me on what to ask someone and my first thought is usually, "Why would I want to know that?" For me, unless the person I'm talking to is already someone I know and care about, talking is about the exchange of information. I don't want to ask someone I don't know a question where the answer will be useless information.

I was going for a walk one time at a beach with some family members and there was a girl walking a dog. Someone suggested I ask her what kind of dog it was. I didn't get the subtle reason behind that request and because I already knew what kind of dog it was, I told the person. They laughed and told me they meant for me to use it as a conversation starter. This was before I knew about Aspergers let alone that I had it and I just remember thinking that was one of the dumbest things I'd ever heard. To ask someone a question when I already knew the answer? Sheer idiocy it seemed.

I don't think it can be rehearsed. It depends on what the situation is. You have an example or two?

NT's can be a strange breed at times. (No comments from the Peanut Gallery please)

Over-preparation leads to failure. If you prepare a script then it will sound too forced and the other party probably wont follow their expected lines anyway. You dont want to sound like the Monty Python Hungarian phrasebook sktech.

Listen to the questions that people ask you. Then filter those and ask the least stupid sounding ones to new people.

People often ask questions just to make a connection in an awkward moment like being alone together in an elevator- they aren't genuinely interested in your answer. If somebody asks: "do you know how to get to the nearest subway station?" then they will appreciate a good answer. If somebody asks: "do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?" then they are probably just "making conversation" and have no real interest in hearing about your dysfunctional family and lack of social contacts.