How to choose between two girls?

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But if she wasn't into me anymore why was it a few weeks later she said she wanted to come back to me?Maybe she does. Does that mean I'm forbidden to ask her out?I didn't mean that in a sexual way. If I ask how to deal with this it's because I want to know how to work around it, not how to force my way through it. I do most of that touchy feely stuff for the benefit of the girl anyway. In the past I've been dumped because I didn't do it and not dumped because I did do it.I think it has something to do with dopamine response. Regardless, most girls expect it. If this girl expects something else, I'm open to suggestions.And I'm sure you know not all aspies are the same. The truth is I don't have a psychical hypersensitivity to touch. I don't feel pain or other strange sensations from touch. In the past I had more of a social phobia of touching people in even the most innocuous ways but that was solely caused by social anxiety, not due to any psychical hypersensitivity. I've never actually experienced full blown hypersensitivity.

I talked about it with a friend. He told me off for dating a fat girl. I told him she was trying her best to lose weight. I knew my friends would react like this. He asked me why I liked her. I had trouble answering. But she seems to like me. The reason I'd date her? I must have a relationship at all costs. I don't want to end up like those forever alones.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

. . . wat . . ?
Wow. Boo I wish I could laugh too.
Is this innocence? I think I just learned a new, eldritch and utterly horrifying version of innocence. (or a rather advanced form of trolling)
Go back to your ex ASAP.

You know, taking friends' opinion about a partner is something I've never seen coming from guys, at least this what I've observed in real life so far, but you've just proved me wrong there, I basically laughed because your reminded me of a bunch of girls gossiping (Yeah, I witness female acquaintances all the time doing the evaluation of partner discussion. ie. "he's too fat/ugly/short/poor you can get someone better" - yuck ).

I find this very idiotic, and it shouldn't be anyone's business except you and her, really.




I think your ex thinks the same way, return to her. lol.

Oh, so that's the reason you were laughing. I thought you were laughing because you thought I shouldn't go back to her, not because you thought I should. Not that I consider anyone's advice here to be an order, but rather just advice.

Regardless, I'd already asked her to come back to me a few hours before my previous post and she said she'll think about it. It's out my hands now. But game theory says I should go with the option that's the least risky, right? Anyway, you two may have a point that I shouldn't read to much into the opinion of a 55 year old theater nerd.

Should the girl in Sydney wish to remain in Sydney, that will give me plenty of time to better get to know the girl from the lodge, who's nice in other ways, such as being thinner, cuter and best of all, she doesn't want kids

If you'd have wanted to get to know her you would have done so by now.

Honestly, if all I had to go on was this forum, I would find autistic men pathetic. Stop analysing women and making assumptions. Stop trying to check off the women box on your "to-dos" and live your life. A women's not going to make you happy anyway.

I originally was of the impression autistic men would be easier to relate to. They're simply easier to understand, but just as hard to relate to as any.

its about going at it without being creepy. theres a girl I've been wanting to get to know for 4 months now, its slow going but If i try to directly talk to her I'll just seem creepy and scare her away. so have to wait for sister to introduce us. which sister keeps putting off and off.

When a person's behaviour is a result of planning and strategy and is not spontaneous, He or she is creepy.
I think autistic people all too often lose the ability to behave naturally when we are made aware of the expectations of others.

From scientific perspective, that makes sense.

The brain differences found (ie. white/grey matter ratios) between men and women so far are more significant and obvious than the brain differences between NTs and ASs of the same gender.

So no wonder you would relate to NT women more than to AS men.

I've only seen her once this year. I saw her a couple of times about six months ago at the community center but we barely exchanged two words. This time was the only time I had a proper conversation with her. I spent the whole dinner getting to know her. I don't yet have her number or on Facebook although I'll try to get them soon.

What I'm getting at, is that it's not like I've been seeing her regularly for a period of time, as you imply. I can't go to the community center anymore because they're only open during work hours (last year I was unemployed). The lodge is on most Thursday nights. Sometimes they skip a week or two during the school holidays. That's why I didn't see her last Thursday. Thursday before that was the first time she'd ever been to the lodge, gods willing she'll be there this Thursday.That's not what the psychologist on Youtube said, he said he said it was the panacea of mental health. Anyway, think of people with significant others. Do you think they don't get any happiness from their relationship? I'm sure some of them do.

Anyway, I'm sick of having half the population tell me I'm a freak for being single and the other half telling me I shouldn't even try. Is some of my desire to have a relationship based on social pressures? Sure. I know everyone will tell me I shouldn't live my life according to social pressures but that's what I've been doing for the last couple of years and it's improved my life immensely.

If I didn't listen to societies expectation for me to get a job I would still be poor and unemployed. I would still be semi-reclusive. Also I never would have learned to drive, I would have dropped out of school when I was 15, I would still weigh 300 lbs and I would now still be living at home. Listening to societies expectations works for me... some of the time.

But now I have people telling me I should have a relationship but other people telling me I'm a creep for trying to have a relationship. Society acts like all relationships happen by chance, a chance meeting of two people who happen to be perfect for each other and somehow work out that each other is available and into them without a word exchanged between them.

And I'm sure many relationships actually do begin by chance but they don't begin that way for me. It could be the perfect woman for me hangs out at some place I don't go. I know that you have to get and socialize and I do but doing that doesn't always bring me into contact with single women in the same age bracket as me (or sometimes I just don't know if they're single but I have a hunch the girl from the lodge is).That's an excellent point. I think I should work on improving my spontaneity, not only for dating but for my interactions for people in general.

Actually I was thinking about NT vs AS males, if I were to go for NT women vs AS males... honestly it would depend on the woman. The stereotypical woman could very well be a starfish to me.

If a man here calls the stereotypical woman as starfish, you would line up calling him sexist.

Why - I mean why - on WP is so ok for aspie women to complain about stereotypical women (and they are plenty) while when guys do you quickly jump in their throats?

You and Androbot, I feel you got stung by my previous post; deal with it :p:
- yes, steretypical women do gather and evaluate each other's dates, many times negatively; it's something that I have so seen them doing it countless of times, so nauseating; while I have never seen men doing it, - except the OP's nosy friend here.

So it's pretty normal for me to asscoiate this particular behavior to the typical women based on life experience so far. Yes, a group of men may talk about some hot woman over there; but I have *never* hear them giving any opinion about some girl whom one of the present guys is dating.

I will not deny or lie about what I observe, like saying I have seen it done by both equally, just to be politically correct.

This one?


So the difference between male and female brains is greater than the difference between female autistics and neurotypical females? That they don't share the same experience of autism as men do. So in essence you are saying that autistic women are less autistic than autistic men.

I've seen this said here before. I think it is an attempt to once again cast women as "the other." We're really not that remarkable and I'm not sure why we are so resented on this forum.


The more you're out there the more people you will meet and the better your chances. But ultimately it is chance. Hunting down a woman to fill the role of wife is not going to work.

Hey now that I think of it, you're right. Most men don't do that. So maybe I shouldn't worry about what friends think of whoever I'm with (though not all of my friends are men) or what my family thinks (though not of all my relatives are men).

It's just hard for me to stop thinking everyone is judging me and coming up with worse case scenarios of what they're thinking about me. I know I shouldn't think that way but it's hard for me to stop.

As for my nosy friend, I was surprised when he said that. I might expect that from a teenaged boy but a 55 year old man, who is married with a son? He's kind of fat himself, and his diet of fasting three days per week hasn't made much difference.Yes I know that who I meet at social gatherings is determined by chance and I accept that but it's just that I feel that some of the young women I already come into contact with might make good relationship material but I have to make some effort once I come into contact with them.

If I've already met someone by chance I don't want to leave the next phase to chance. The trouble is it seems like a lot of couples not only meet through chance but also everything else proceeds through chance as well. As though they form a bond through mutual wordless spontaneity without either of them having an actual plan. I don't do very well without a plan in any aspect of life.