Tried dating an Aspie, it did not work

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MollyTroubletail
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08 May 2015, 8:16 am

I met an Aspie who was interested in me, and I didn't mind he was autistic but his obnoxious behavior soon drove me away. He kept on changing his mind every other day.

At first he was pressing very hard to meet and talk on the phone. As soon as I said ok, he changed his story and said he had to limit our conversations to email only. His explanation was that I didn't listen to him and he wanted to use email in order to have a hard copy of our conversations that he could use to prove him right (that I don't listen). And whenever I asked him a question about anything he said in email, he would never answer it but only tell me to go read his previous email again, like I was stupid.

It got to the point I simply told him he didn't have the personality type I was looking for. Too bad because he's been alone for over ten years and looks like he may be alone for a long time to come. What on earth was he thinking.



aspiemike
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08 May 2015, 8:20 am

That tells me little to no relationship experience. Maybe even little to no emotional intelligence.


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darkphantomx1
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08 May 2015, 8:22 am

Well hopefully he will learn from his mistakes and get his s**t together.



kraftiekortie
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08 May 2015, 8:32 am

He seems like he has an abrasive personality--whether he's Aspie or not is irrelevant. It's his way or the highway. Lots of NT's are like that.

There are many Aspies who don't exhibit this type of behavior.



MollyTroubletail
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08 May 2015, 8:59 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
He seems like he has an abrasive personality--whether he's Aspie or not is irrelevant. It's his way or the highway. Lots of NT's are like that.

There are many Aspies who don't exhibit this type of behavior.


Hence why I told him his personality wasn't the sort I was looking for, instead of his being autistic is the thing I was not attracted to. What I still wonder though is whether he even realizes that he's doing this, being abrasive, my-way-or-the-hiway, "I must prove I am always right" sort of thing.



kraftiekortie
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08 May 2015, 9:03 am

He probably believes, wholeheartedly, in what he believes--without input from anybody else.

These sorts of folks are poison for the soul, really.

There are other fish in the sea.



sly279
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08 May 2015, 5:21 pm

yep this is why i find the notion of all aspies are great and similar or the aspe master race that some people have here to be upsetting. most the ones I've met in person are mean, but I've met plenty of nice ones here. so many people try to connect personality characteristics to aspergers or autism. while there is no such connection.

I'd be more likely to do what the female wants. :(
though there are some things I want my way.


sorry you had to deal with that.



dionysian
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09 May 2015, 7:06 am

MollyTroubletail wrote:
At first he was pressing very hard to meet and talk on the phone. As soon as I said ok, he changed his story and said he had to limit our conversations to email only.

I'm curious about this. It sounds like a long distance relationship, but it also sounds like it was dead on arrival. How did you meet this person, and how long did it last? What about it made you consider it dating?


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nick007
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09 May 2015, 10:50 pm

sly279 wrote:
yep this is why i find the notion of all aspies are great and similar or the aspe master race that some people have here to be upsetting. most the ones I've met in person are mean, but I've met plenty of nice ones here. so many people try to connect personality characteristics to aspergers or autism. while there is no such connection.

I'd be more likely to do what the female wants. :(
though there are some things I want my way.


sorry you had to deal with that.
I agree with you except I only met a couple in person & they all had very different personalities. I met my 2nd & current girlfriend on here. My 2nd wanted lots of things on her terms due to being very independent & her life situation. She broke up with me because she believed she was better without a relationship due to her wanting more independence. But my current girlfriend is alot more dependent than that ex & she likes having my help when making decisions.


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