online dating

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So I'm 22 nearly 23 and have still never had a boyfriend.Most of my friends have boyfriends so I'm getting a bit frustrated.I'm on a few dating websites at the moment because meeting a guy in a nightclub is a nightmare because they are usually drunk.My biggest issue is social skills so have trouble interacting wit the guys because small talk is hard in a nightclub plus it's loud.Any who I have been doing online dating for over a year and there are so many guys on it who want casual/no commitment which isn't me.I have been on a few dates but they didn't go well.What do I do?
Any advice?

Your the same age as me, so you'll be seeing people starting to have baby's and getting engaged by now so its definitely frustrating.

What dating websites are you using Paid/Free? POF/OK Cupid are the main free ones but you get so many people on there like what you describe doesn't cost them a penny to get there fun. Of course there's plenty of great people on there who aren't like that.

Are you making first contact with people? Go on peoples profile and message them yourself see what they have selected what there looking for. Might be better then just replying to people who message you. Plenty of good guys on these sites who will be getting next to no mails.

Have you tried a paid site? If you live in a area that even on the free sites you only have a couple of people who log in per day then its probably not a good idea as it will be even deader on them.


Where did you go for your dates? Not out drinking i presume if you struggle to even be able to hear each other in a lot of these places and chat to them.

I'm in the same situation as you OP. Since about two years ago, me and my ex-GF broke up because she wanted to know what was going on in my family. I did the breaking up because she wanted to meet my sister and I couldn't allow it. I have no friends.

As of last year, I too have been frustrated over & over again for not having a girlfriend. Most dating websites I have used are nothing more than cash-grabbers who require a credit card. PM me and I can try to get back to you as soon as I can.

Joining an online dating service will make you feel like you will meet your love and this gives happiness. It is fun to chat and have the feeling of finding your perfect one.

for women, its hell for men.

Online dating is often portrayed as a silver bullet that will solve all of your dating problems. As you've discovered, this is not always the case. In fact, statistics show that only a small percentage of online daters are actually able to find a relationship from it.

I'm in the same situation as you (except that I'm male and am 27) and tried online dating for about 18 months without success. I've given up on it now, because I've decided that it causes way to much stress for what I get out of it (a first date once a month followed by silence or rejection).

Really? It seemed more like a constant source of frustration, stress and dashed hopes to me.

Online dating is stressful.I find it hard to start a conversation wit a guy because some guys on it would say b more original and don't start off wit hey how are you? I also get nervous about talking to guys who I really like.I think its a lack of confidence.

Online dating is pretty much just a waste of time.

All you really see on those sites are happy looking self proclaimed outgoing extroverts who flaunt all their numerous achievements and generic positive traits, and they literally all like:
hanging out with their hundreds of friends,
sports,
going 'out' and having a 'laugh',
stupid TV shows..
I really dont want to be a part of that.
I feel it is far too competitive status wise and I think even IRL is probably easier.

It is. Online dating is more about quantity than quality but it is a great way to meet women you never would meet otherwise. My hopefully soon-to-be fiance was found on eHarmony and we would have NEVER met in person and if we did, I would have no reason to suspect we would have been compatible since she does not like sports at all.

I would recommend doing what I stopped doing online: let your flag fly proudly and stop trying to be all things to all people. You will get few responses but the ones that do will be truly special. It isn't easy but looking back finding the right person makes you forget those headaches very quickly.

Almost 100% of my dates and longer term relationships were from an online dating website. A new date once a month means you're doing pretty well at it. It saves time to simply not reply to messages where the person obviously just wants a quickie hookup. If it wasn't for online dating I don't think I'd meet anyone at all because I'm almost a hermit.

I did that when I was active online, and I had no trouble getting responses and dates. The problem was that no one ever wanted to see me more than once, even though they sometimes seemed quite interested before we met. Frankly, between the stress and time it takes up, it's just not worth it.

That's about how often I went on dates when I was active (not that it ever did any good).

You need to somehow find or figure out what it is that you do/say/whatever that you currently don't realise you do, or don't realise is turning your dates off, then put that in the profile as well. For example "I may be a bit X on our first date but don't worry, I'll soon warm up". If you are going for the "proud flag flying" type profile, I would recommend adding this as well. Hard part I suppose is knowing what it is.

I did try to make my profile reflect who I am. I also had something like what you suggested on it and even mentioned it before we met a few times. It never made any difference.

Are you sure you were mentioning the right thing?