Question regarding shyness in dating

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Some guys are just way too shy to make a move or read social signals, so what's your take?

When I was dating an aspie guy, he asked me flat out if I would like him to make love to me. I said yes. Then he asked around six more times just to make sure!

That seems very sweet.

I wish a woman would ask me, nicely, to make love to her! That's never actually happened to me.

Usually, when a woman desires to make love to me, there's some kind of impatience exhibited. That--if I don't curb it--brings out the Angry Man in me. No romance there!

I curb it, though. Except one time when my fiance and I engaged in makeup sex (circa 1981). We had a big fight. Then we had a rip-roaring lovemaking session which involved lots of intense feelings.

My experience: most women really don't like it if you ask first...they'd prefer you just to do it. And if you ask, you absolutely shouldn't phrase it as though you're asking for permission. My current strategy is to wait until the third date and then just go for it, regardless of signals. I figure that if someone goes out with me 3 times, then they're more than likely attracted to me and wanting a kiss. At the same time, I try to move in somewhat slowly to give them a chance to turn their head or back off if they're not interested, and I keep it short and sweet.

For me, the much harder thing is finding the right setting. Typically my dates end at our cars in a parking lot, which isn't exactly the most romantic setting, and may have a few on-lookers in the area (privacy is important for a first kiss).

and you liked it?

most women seem to just get annoyed by it.

It might be okay if it's playfully done and not like a serious "asking for permission" thing. But in general I'd prefer not to be asked.

I'm fine with guys asking permission.

But I'm curious about the reverse. To the guys: Would it be ok if a woman asks for permission to kiss you? Or would it turn you off?

I am OK with guys asking for permission but it always ends up with me logically considering all ups and downs of this and saying "No" due to getting anxious and for some reason we end up being just friends. It would probably be better if they just did it before I start overthinking. But I know how much confidence it takes to come up and just kiss a girl without knowing how she feels about that.

It was my experience that women LOVED when I did not ask and just did it. Even if they were not fully ready they get very attracted just based on the gesture. It can be very hard to read the cues but if she gets physically close to you and her eyes are dilated with them VERY rapidly looking at her lips, that's usually a green light. The worst thing that could happen would be getting the cheek and even then, she will usually respect you for trying.

As a woman-ish person, I disagree completely. When someone asks permission before kissing me it shows that they have respect for me and value consent. Not only is it ok to ask, but I would say it's preferable. Not to mention that I also have trouble reading non-verbal cues and so if someone just does it without asking it can be surprising and upsetting.

I had to ask both my girlfriends for permission or they asked me when we met offline & they understood & appreciated it but they were both Aspies