Advice on reaching a breakthrough?

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Just so that you have a back story... last week I decided to break things off with the man that I really care for. He is leaving to go back to his hometown for at least the whole summer. Maybe I did it for selfish reasons, because I like him so much and wanted to have a clean break so I'm not missing him and pining over the whole time. I just don't want to be contacted by him so I'm not so focused on his absence.

I just feel terrible. I went into hyper logic mode, being unable to show my emotion about it.. I stood there with him explaining all of my reasons, trying to justify it and point out the logic in my decision. He said that he completely understands.

Anyway, once I go into that mode of reasoning, I seem to get stuck. I've never been able to really mix the two together, its usually one or the other. Typically I go into logic, then process everything, then the emotion ensues. Well this time, I can't seem to snap out of it. I know I need a good cry, I can feel it, but I cannot get to the point where I can make it happen.

I've tried listening to very sad music, writing, baths, silence, baking (I do a lot of it when I get depressed), forcing myself to feel the weight of it all etc. My mom actually went to the hospital yesterday, and all I wanted to do was talk to him. I let myself really feel the desire, thinking it would tip me over, but no luck there. While it deepens my sadness, it doesn't make me reach the breaking point!

Any tips on how I can just get that emotional breakthrough would be appreciated

All I can really say is that breaking things, even if they're imaginary, seems unlikely to help anyone. The only emotional phenomena that ever helps me is togetherness, no matter the form it takes. I think the real breakthrough is realizing in your own mind that you're still with that person no matter where you go. Nevermind a 'clean break', you seem to be describing the need for a clean connection. No matter the context, a clean connection requires no external support. It always starts with someone, looks like that may as well be you.

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