The stranger girls of Facebook

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jun 2015, 2:58 pm

I am not active on facebook, I never post a status or things like that, I used it mostly to message certain people - or to post something to a discussion.

Recently, I was skimming through my feed and it came to my attention something.... girls lol... a lot girls who are strangers to me; most of them are local, like dozens of them - and are pretty much active on facebook- filling the 'Home' page with pictures and events of their lives. A lot I don't even recall when and why they were added.

So curiously, I dug their profiles or if there were any messages exchanged to find some clues and refresh my memory - not gonna post details here but one thing is certain, most of these girls (the local of them at least) were dating interest to me because they are all of certain types and same age range - some met through life or through some other online communities, I found a few message exchanges ages ago with those strangers but for one reason and another they led to nowhere or something - there was no interaction otherwise. And I was wondering why they added me in the first place; there was no even additional socialization value to that - so I started to remove them lol.

Do you see such strangers on facebook and wonder why they are even in your friend list?



Stargazer43
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20 Jun 2015, 9:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
girls lol... a lot girls who are strangers to me; most of them are local, like dozens of them - and are pretty much active on facebook- filling the 'Home' page with pictures and events of their lives. A lot I don't even recall when and why they were added.


Well, it is FaceBoo-k after all...it's no wonder they all want to know you! I personally don't add anyone unless I know exactly who they are and how I know them...I don't add friends of friends or strangers who send requests.



Kurgan
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21 Jun 2015, 4:54 am

I don't have many friends on Facebook. The ones I have (140-ish) are either people I know well, or people I've talked to a lot on an Asperger's group.


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hurtloam
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21 Jun 2015, 6:18 am

This made me laugh. When I add a man I like on Facebook I want to find out a bit more about him subtly. I hope that he'll add stuff like things he's read that interest him, you know links to stuff on the internet, music he likes, little stories about what he's up to.

My best friend from junior school added me last week and I can't believe after all these years we have so much in common, but I know that because we've both been posting stuff and I've been commenting on his posts and he's been commenting on mine. These women probably expected that sort of interaction from you.

On the other hand I added this guy I like last year to my list and he's only posted one update since then and doesn't comment on any of my posts, so I haven't learned anything much about him. I did message him a few times, those were invites to go out places which he said yes or no to depending on whether he was available, but that has been the extent of his interaction with me online. All solicited by me and not much from him, which is a bit meh. I'll bet these girls feel like that about you.

Facebook can actually be kind of useful for getting to know a little about other people if you actually use it.



Last edited by hurtloam on 21 Jun 2015, 6:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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21 Jun 2015, 6:22 am

... and because you have a good sense of humour I imagine they added you thinking that you would write funny updates. I have some random followers that I only kind of know, but they keep me on their friend list because they like my sense of humour and keep them for the likes. I use Facebook for entertainment.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jun 2015, 7:41 am

hurtloam wrote:
This made me laugh. When I add a man I like on Facebook I want to find out a bit more about him subtly. I hope that he'll add stuff like things he's read that interest him, you know links to stuff on the internet, music he likes, little stories about what he's up to.

My best friend from junior school added me last week and I can't believe after all these years we have so much in common, but I know that because we've both been posting stuff and I've been commenting on his posts and he's been commenting on mine. These women probably expected that sort of interaction from you.

On the other hand I added this guy I like last year to my list and he's only posted one update since then and doesn't comment on any of my posts, so I haven't learned anything much about him. I did message him a few times, those were invites to go out places which he said yes or no to depending on whether he was available, but that has been the extent of his interaction with me online. All solicited by me and not much from him, which is a bit meh. I'll bet these girls feel like that about you.

Facebook can actually be kind of useful for getting to know a little about other people if you actually use it.


The thing is, most of these girls are people I met like only once or twice in life, in a some event, and I recall now that I added them hoping I will keep in touch with them - and do things together later - or meet them again frequently through the same activity I met them first time. Never happened, nor I felt much enthusiasm from them, and yes, checking the chat histories again, it was me who often inatiated, so meh.


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All solicited by me and not much from him, which is a bit meh. I'll bet these girls feel like that about you.


This made me laught, it's too good to be true in my case, they never attempted to invite me to anything.
So on, hurtloam, I bet they were never secret admirers, like you to these guys. It's a nice thought but one has to be realistic, I am not that oblvious to such obvious signs.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jun 2015, 4:03 pm

hurtloam wrote:
... and because you have a good sense of humour I imagine they added you thinking that you would write funny updates. I have some random followers that I only kind of know, but they keep me on their friend list because they like my sense of humour and keep them for the likes. I use Facebook for entertainment.


I never post funny updates.



sly279
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21 Jun 2015, 4:04 pm

hurtloam wrote:
This made me laugh. When I add a man I like on Facebook I want to find out a bit more about him subtly. I hope that he'll add stuff like things he's read that interest him, you know links to stuff on the internet, music he likes, little stories about what he's up to.

My best friend from junior school added me last week and I can't believe after all these years we have so much in common, but I know that because we've both been posting stuff and I've been commenting on his posts and he's been commenting on mine. These women probably expected that sort of interaction from you.

On the other hand I added this guy I like last year to my list and he's only posted one update since then and doesn't comment on any of my posts, so I haven't learned anything much about him. I did message him a few times, those were invites to go out places which he said yes or no to depending on whether he was available, but that has been the extent of his interaction with me online. All solicited by me and not much from him, which is a bit meh. I'll bet these girls feel like that about you.

Facebook can actually be kind of useful for getting to know a little about other people if you actually use it.



I feel like a creep commenting on friends posts. Its caused fights in the past too. I added a girl 6 months ago after going on a walk wtih my sister and her. I've liked lots of her posts but shes never liked any of mine :(



MrBear
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21 Jun 2015, 5:06 pm

If you have met them in person, even if only briefly, I am not shocked they added you. Some people add anyone they have encountered and will also add people they find interesting who have mutual friends.



yellowtamarin
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21 Jun 2015, 6:33 pm

Nope, I only add people I consider friends, so that generally means that I remember who they are :P



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jun 2015, 4:01 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Nope, I only add people I consider friends, so that generally means that I remember who they are :P



I won't add you, so stop trying. :P



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Jul 2015, 3:16 pm

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
This made me laugh. When I add a man I like on Facebook I want to find out a bit more about him subtly. I hope that he'll add stuff like things he's read that interest him, you know links to stuff on the internet, music he likes, little stories about what he's up to.

My best friend from junior school added me last week and I can't believe after all these years we have so much in common, but I know that because we've both been posting stuff and I've been commenting on his posts and he's been commenting on mine. These women probably expected that sort of interaction from you.

On the other hand I added this guy I like last year to my list and he's only posted one update since then and doesn't comment on any of my posts, so I haven't learned anything much about him. I did message him a few times, those were invites to go out places which he said yes or no to depending on whether he was available, but that has been the extent of his interaction with me online. All solicited by me and not much from him, which is a bit meh. I'll bet these girls feel like that about you.

Facebook can actually be kind of useful for getting to know a little about other people if you actually use it.



I feel like a creep commenting on friends posts. Its caused fights in the past too. I added a girl 6 months ago after going on a walk wtih my sister and her. I've liked lots of her posts but shes never liked any of mine :(



Today I had a little chat on fb with a girl I liked (but only met very few times) and added ages ago due to a small post I did (first time since ages ago lol).

and the conversation led to other topics, we engaged manly about socialization in adult life and how harder it gets compared to college life, she thinks that FB is representation of fake happiness and life.

Then...the conversation stopped because she didn't reply to last message, just in the middle of that topic so it was nothing that may cause offense or anything...we were just talking.

So obviously there's no mutual enthusiasm in building any bond.... Sigh



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26 Jul 2015, 9:15 pm

I never used FB but I used MySpace years ago & most of the people who sent me request never messaged me after so I had no problem quitting it.


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hurtloam
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28 Jul 2015, 2:47 pm

Instant messaging is weird though. I never know when to leave a conversation. Sometimes I think it's like a conversation is just dropped in the middle, but then we'll chat then next day. I only ever initiate an instant chat if I need to ask something specific, but a casual conversation freaks me out a bit. I've got one friend who regularly IM's me on Facebook and it's a bit like a month long rambling conversation. Most of the time it's me that just drops the conversation because I have things to do like the dishes or have a bath. What do I say, "ok bye, things to do."



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Aug 2015, 1:00 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Instant messaging is weird though. I never know when to leave a conversation. Sometimes I think it's like a conversation is just dropped in the middle, but then we'll chat then next day. I only ever initiate an instant chat if I need to ask something specific, but a casual conversation freaks me out a bit. I've got one friend who regularly IM's me on Facebook and it's a bit like a month long rambling conversation. Most of the time it's me that just drops the conversation because I have things to do like the dishes or have a bath. What do I say, "ok bye, things to do."



If he is your crush and you want him to like you back, then hell yes hurtloam, dropping the conversation would send the opposite message: That you don't care that much about him; better to say something like "I have things to do, we talk later :)".



hurtloam
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02 Aug 2015, 5:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Instant messaging is weird though. I never know when to leave a conversation. Sometimes I think it's like a conversation is just dropped in the middle, but then we'll chat then next day. I only ever initiate an instant chat if I need to ask something specific, but a casual conversation freaks me out a bit. I've got one friend who regularly IM's me on Facebook and it's a bit like a month long rambling conversation. Most of the time it's me that just drops the conversation because I have things to do like the dishes or have a bath. What do I say, "ok bye, things to do."



If he is your crush and you want him to like you back, then hell yes hurtloam, dropping the conversation would send the opposite message: That you don't care that much about him; better to say something like "I have things to do, we talk later :)".


Yeah, this isn't the crush. I guess I might behave differently if the crush actually bothered messaging me.