Harder to forget?

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I am wondering if it is me or something that happens to many of us. My husband was worthless for many years. In fact, he was downright abusive, cruel and pathetic. He has changed drastically, although when he gets mad, to me, he always goes back to his old ways. I used to think people change, but they don't really change who they are...they may change how they act in certain circumstances, but not much.

Anyway, he and many around me seem to think that I need to just let go of the past and focus on the future. I try my hardest, but I just can't. I actually did forgive many things he did to me, or so I thought, as I stayed and sometimes as things improved I felt very happy, but I can't anymore. It seems that any little thing triggers all the memories back. Honestly, I believe that I may have C-PTSD from the years of BS I have had to put up with. Of course, he thinks it's my autism, but I do NOT believe it is. The things we have argued about, when talking to others, are things most people would NOT tolerate. I think BECAUSE of autism, he saw me as an easy target as I could not read his intentions very well.

Anyway, I wonder if it is autism that is stopping me from moving on, if it's possibly C-PTSD or just me. Anyone else have these issues?

It's not your autism.

At least I don't think it is.

And it may not be any kind of PTSD.

If the marriage matters to you, you should probably be seeing a therapist who can help you with this specific issue. With the way you can handle it, I mean.

Perhaps it's OCD or Aspie focus that's causing you to dwell on it.

People tend to remember negative things more. If it is something you can't forget or get over, then better to give yourself some space, as much as you need.

It's a bummer--but you've formed a bond with this man which is difficult to break.

I believe it's the bond you've formed with the guy, not anything really "pathological."

But, if he continues to abuse you, you have to think about moving on to someone else.