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Meeting a special someone.

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autismthinker21
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20 Jun 2015, 6:55 pm

To put all the confusion behind. This is for anyone on this thread.

Rules of meeting a special person whether or not It's meant or not.

1. Be comfortable with that someone

2. Eye contact.

3. Make the conversation worth everything you got.

4. Compliment on their clothing or their glasses.

5. Bring up your strong and weak points.

6. Let them know How you feel.

7. Get to know their family.

8.minimize anything that is not necessary.

9. Never bring up ex issues.

10. Respect and love each other.

If you don't agree or have something else to add, type.


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yellowtamarin
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21 Jun 2015, 6:41 pm

Are they all rules for meeting someone, or does some of it go beyond that? Because it could get a bit weird to love someone you just met, and get to know their family.

Some of it looks like good general advice. I wouldn't call it "rules", because there is no set way of going about it for everyone. Some of the points won't work and some will, for each combination of two people who meet each other.



autismthinker21
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22 Jun 2015, 9:22 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Are they all rules for meeting someone, or does some of it go beyond that? Because it could get a bit weird to love someone you just met, and get to know their family.

Some of it looks like good general advice. I wouldn't call it "rules", because there is no set way of going about it for everyone. Some of the points won't work and some will, for each combination of two people who meet each other.


and whats wrong with meeting the family if they have one? call them steps whatever suits you.


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rdos
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23 Jun 2015, 4:16 am

autismthinker21 wrote:
To put all the confusion behind. This is for anyone on this thread.

Rules of meeting a special person whether or not It's meant or not.

1. Be comfortable with that someone

2. Eye contact.

3. Make the conversation worth everything you got.

4. Compliment on their clothing or their glasses.

5. Bring up your strong and weak points.

6. Let them know How you feel.

7. Get to know their family.

8.minimize anything that is not necessary.

9. Never bring up ex issues.

10. Respect and love each other.

If you don't agree or have something else to add, type.


Yeah, I would delete half of the list. I'd delete talking to her, which would delete 3, 4, 5 and 9. As for getting to know family, I'd be fine with her family being involved, but I wouldn't want a regular meeting or talk. It is usually a good sign and if they are positive and supportative, you likely have their approval which makes it easier.



autismthinker21
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23 Jun 2015, 10:32 am

rdos wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
To put all the confusion behind. This is for anyone on this thread.

Rules of meeting a special person whether or not It's meant or not.

1. Be comfortable with that someone

2. Eye contact.

3. Make the conversation worth everything you got.

4. Compliment on their clothing or their glasses.

5. Bring up your strong and weak points.

6. Let them know How you feel.

7. Get to know their family.

8.minimize anything that is not necessary.

9. Never bring up ex issues.

10. Respect and love each other.

If you don't agree or have something else to add, type.


Yeah, I would delete half of the list. I'd delete talking to her, which would delete 3, 4, 5 and 9. As for getting to know family, I'd be fine with her family being involved, but I wouldn't want a regular meeting or talk. It is usually a good sign and if they are positive and supportative, you likely have their approval which makes it easier.

You, might have a different approach than I do.


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SilverStar
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23 Jun 2015, 7:34 pm

autismthinker21 wrote:
To put all the confusion behind. This is for anyone on this thread.

Rules of meeting a special person whether or not It's meant or not.

1. Be comfortable with that someone

2. Eye contact.

3. Make the conversation worth everything you got.

4. Compliment on their clothing or their glasses.

5. Bring up your strong and weak points.

6. Let them know How you feel.

7. Get to know their family.

8.minimize anything that is not necessary.

9. Never bring up ex issues.

10. Respect and love each other.

If you don't agree or have something else to add, type.



6. In most cases, I would wait awhile before telling them that.

7. There is no problem with getting to know someone's family, but I don't think I would want them around on a first date.

10. Yes, you should respect other people, but in most cases, it usually takes getting to know someone before you can love them (see #6).



rdos
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24 Jun 2015, 2:43 am

As I deleted a lot of things, I think it is only fair to add a few new:

11. Be careful not to overload your sensitive love-system by starting out talking to random stranger-girl you fancy. This could end up horribly bad with you getting a crush on her and her having no interest in you.

12. Don't do dating because this is sure to overload your love-system, and since the success-rate of dating is low this has a high risk of not being mutual.

13. Don't start obsessing about somebody until you know there is a mutual interest

14. Once you know there is mutual interest, let her know you are interested, and be persistent in your interest. Even if official rules don't dictate it, be exclusive in this phase. If you are an Aspie you probably don't have a lot to lose by being exclusive anyway, so why mess up a potential relationship?

15. Use Internet or texting to get to know each others if you really need to do that, and do it in a "matter-of-fact" way. Mutual emotions should be developed in real interaction, not online or through texting. This gives you control of the situation and lessens the risk of a non-reciprocated interest.



rdos
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24 Jun 2015, 8:32 am

A few more:

16. If your intuition tells you there is a mutual interest, believe it and don't question it, even if your friends and even the whole world disagrees.

17. Make sure things advance at a reasonable pace, and don't stay in the flirting-phase for years, even if the girl you are interested in accepts this. Sooner or later you will go different ways even if it seems to work for the moment.