Communication Issue

Post Reply New Topic

Hello Everyone! I'm a 24 year old Aspie guy, and I've been dating a wonderful girl for a little over a year now. We first met online, and we had a few great months together before she transferred to a college in a different part of the country and our relationship became long distance. We've been able to keep in touch through phone calls, texting and FaceTime since then, and I have seen her when she comes home for holidays and breaks. During these times together, we are as close as we have ever been. However, recently I have noticed that whenever we text or talk, I am usually the one to initiate the conversation. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind this, but it would be nice to hear from her every once in a while and to not have to put in all the effort towards communication. When we do talk, everything is great. We make plans and talk about our lives, and nothing seems to be wrong. There have been suspicions that she may be an aspie as well, but she has never been diagnosed.

Should I be concerned about this communication issue, or am I simply overthinking it (as I often do)?

Perhaps you're overthinking this.

Maybe, in this relationship, your girlfriend concedes to you the "initiator" role. Maybe it's a gender thing, unconsciously.

If everything proceeds well from when you initiate things, then you're doing something right.

It might be problem, or it might not.

Usually, when you are the one doing the all of the initiating, it means that they are losing/have lost interest, and/or they aren't making you a priority.

Remember, if someone really wants to do something (start a conversation/talk with you, in this case), they will do it, or at least make a genuwine effort to do so.

Sometimes, the problem might just be that they are shy, insecure, or just busy (this shouldn't be an everyday thing), etc, though.

Thanks for the responses, I I think I really have been overthinking things. My girlfriend is younger than me by three years, so it makes sense that she may have given me the role of the initiator, plus we both tend to be busy at times. Things have been going as well as ever, so I really have nothing to complain about. I may talk to her about it in the future just to put my mind at ease that there isn't some underlying problem.

I think you are right to be suspicious, but are still overthinking this, such things happen.

If you are always the one to make the effort I would be a little concerned. I personally couldn't make long distance work, it added too much to insecurity so I moved to be with my husband back when we were dating.