Positive Relationships are Possible for People on the Spectrum - Love & Autism

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In our age range that may be true. But there are sports cars, motorcycles, alcohol and hard drugs. They work great as an equalizer to balance the gender ratio out.

>In our age range that may be true. But there are sports cars, motorcycles, alcohol and hard drugs. They work great as an equalizer to balance the gender ratio out.

Someone once said "Bad things always happen to good people, never to bad people".

What karma says is supposed to happen and what actually happens (because of fate) are two different things. The Bible says a man is supposed to live long in his land if he respects his parents, but that doesn't stop him from getting killed by a drunk driver in his 20s. In the same way, decent people who want love ought to find love, but if it didn't happen, it didn't happen - that's fate. Karma cannot make time go back.

Just because good people are supposed to have good things doesn't mean they will. If fate is determined to stop me from having a woman to love, me wanting a girlfriend is destined for failure. But if I grow to accept it's impossible for me to be with a woman, then I will find contentment through other means and no longer feel disappointed that people said I was supposed to have a woman when I wasn't. If an 8-year-old boy can say he'd rather have computer games than a girlfriend, then surely so can any man of any age.

All in short: someone can only torture you if they can convince you to want (crave) something that you can't have.

Easier said than done. If anyone could live alone happily, nobody would ever get into relationships.

yep

>Easier said than done. If anyone could live alone happily, nobody would ever get into relationships.
I never said it was easy... rather, it's more of a last resort when one knows there's no realistic chance of ever achieving a relationship with a woman. If you think you are able to find a woman, you should not give up searching. After 25-30 years (depending on how fast your body ages), your odds get longer as you get older.

I think for me, to have a relationship, it's highly unlikely, but not impossible. I'm not giving up yet, because only recently my position improved and I started getting dates.

when one gets to be my age and prematurely aged, one might as well hang it up. like all good things in life, there is a "sell-by" date that when exceeded the results go downhill rapidly. I found that out recently, although I should have suspected it before it happened.

I'm in a happy and very healthy relationship with my NT partner. We've been together for just under 13 years. I was 19 when we met and I'm 32 now. There is an age difference between us; I'm 32 and he is 54. So even though he is NT, he is the one who had to wait a long time to find true love. It doesn't always come easily or quickly to NTs, either. So if it takes you 50 years to find love, you should still be happy to have found it. It's worth waiting for when it's really right. The worst thing someone can do is be with someone who is not right simply because they think this person is 'better than being alone.' That's wrong; it's much better to be alone than to be with less than the best person.
Happy relationships are a possibility for people on the spectrum, both with others on the spectrum and with neurotypicals. It can happen. It does happen. But, like every relationship, that person has to be right, you have to be right, the timing has to be right. The very best way to make sure that you are right is to 1. stop looking for a partner 2. learn how to be happy and functional as a single person.

That's like telling a jobless person to not look for a job and learn to be happy unemployed. How would that increase their chances of finding a job?

Yeah, that's about the worse thing to do. A much better way is to get a secret crush on somebody and be happy for that.

>Yeah, that's about the worse thing to do. A much better way is to get a secret crush on somebody and be happy for that.

This works mentally, but only until you hear that she has a boyfriend or husband

That's true, so you should make sure you will never know.

Although, the best way probably is to select somebody that might be interested in you, so it can evolve into something real. That could work because some people (and more so if they are neurodiverse) might like you if they know you are obsessing about them, and putting down a lot of time on them without any other reason that you like them. I know it can work because I've done it.

It depends what kind of woman you are 'obsessed' with... some don't like the idea that some man is thinking about them too much. Better to just be fond of a woman without pushing her too much. That way, at least you will feel like you have some form of relationship.

I predict that as technology advances, there will be less pressure on aspie males, at least.

or more easy to just avoid us all together and get that prime nt man.

artificial intelligence is making leaps and bounds.