Without love, I'm going around in circles...

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I can't believe how much I still miss him two years later... not even a word is spoken now, and yet it all envelops it through thought... I'm having fun alone, but I'm alone, what's the point? How can someone reject such love... it is like a hole that can never be mended, despite weaving for all eternity...

hugs.

Sorry that you are so sad. Is he on the spectrum or are you? Two years is a long time, but when you love someone, 2 yrs can be like yesterday. Seems like you may have to do some "clean house" to get better, because it doesn't sound healthy. You deserve better. Maybe, you might want to sweep out what is left of that person so you can move forward. Books on grief are good for that. Libraries have books like that in stock. It seems like you could still be grieving.

Love hurts sometimes, but not all the time.

We both were, supposedly... he was differently affected, though... more frustrated, used to bang his head, which I tried to help him with... but how can I 'clean' up? He left so many things here... a pen, lots of shirts, letters, his old flask... I put most of them out of sight in a single place, but I still try to be practical so I actively use the pen e.g...

And sly... thanks.

If you're a woman....{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

If you're man.....a pat on the back

Either way: Don't let other people influence your happiness too much.

kraftiekortie... happiness, alone? Most I can get is pleasure. Other than that it's interest.

Feeling pleasure is essential in happiness.

Real happiness is looking in a true lover's eyes... I can still remember his almost sparkling, golden oceans of blue.

Try to walk anticlockwise for a change.

That's really a beautiful image, Mootoo.

I feel the same way but I wasn't in a relationship to begin with so on top of being unfulfilled people feel they have the right to be cruel to me about it too. i.e. the 'why do you tell us how you feel when you could just shut up and go away' attitude.

I had a gf that "loved" me, until a modeling reality show contacted. Every started going down the drain. I supported her throughout that s**t. She "won" (reality shows are rigged). And my life was destroyed in about 6 different ways.
Weeks and months went by, until I said "f*ck it!" and burn everything that even reminded of the incident, let alone her.
At first it felt like erasing the memory of a dead loved one. 10 mins later, it felt like a purge. I thought "time to move forward," I'm free," and "FA-Q!"
You might wanna try the same. Loving someone that doesn't love you back can seem delusion. Mentioning it to others sounds crazy.

That must have been painful, dimished... what I thought was the cause back then was https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/about_ ... ramme.aspx and specifically the local organization that handled it, as they seemed to be almost a cult and I thought they had brainwashed him into thinking he suddenly has loads of friends and so could get rid of me. Except, after three months after its end he still wouldn't even want to talk to me...

I just don't feel like I can burn anything... everything is a memory to me, and will remain in existence at least until it disappears from my mind through dementia or such... the least I can do is appreciate the seven months, as ephemeral as they may have been...

You sound like you love him. I don't like to get rid of things that remind me of a past love either. I haven't loved many, but the few I did, it was hard to throw certain things away. However, I did get rid of the bulk of stuff I didn't need. Some people like to get rid of everything, but I could never do that. I've kept pictures because they are MINE.

Although I still have pictures, I try not to look at them if the wounds (feelings) are still fresh. "Cleaning house," just means you put those things aside and thoughts of the past aside so you can try to move forward.

It takes time. As cliche as that sounds, it does. How much time it takes to move forward depends on you and your situation. Books on grief and abandonment are somewhat helpful. I like the book called (The Journey from Abandonment to Healing) by Susan Anderson.

"sparkling golden oceans of blue" that sounds like my last one.

Why don't you try a free online dating website? There are a lot of them on the web. My friend has been using BeNaughty website for a while and dated several cool girls from there so far. They are ver nice and good looking.