Something Special About Aspie Women

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Hello there. I have not been here for a very long time. My name is Nathan, I'm a 28 year old Washington state inhabitant, who may or may not be an aspie (I'll post another thread to get your input on that soon). I've been thinking a lot about love and relationships lately. I have been focused on some foundational things in life for the past several years - getting a bachelors and then a masters, getting a good professional job that pays well and I enjoy, buying a home. And now, I've got those things. It's nice. But it's not everything.

I work extremely hard when I have a goal in my sights, and between picking things I'm good at, my determination, and of course some luck, I tend to achieve my goals. There's been one notable exception, however... dating. I do not have any horrible flaws that I can think of that would make me undatable - I'm average looking, romantic in a gentlemanly way, people in general like me pretty well, and I try to be a kind and considerate person but am not a pushover. Things just haven't seemed to work though. Mostly it has been me deciding to end relationships, though not always. Anyway, the main thing that keeps coming up is that I can't... quite... feel connected to the girls I've been dating recently.

There's a sense of "otherness" I get from most people, but it only really becomes a problem when I meet someone I want to get really close to. I can be anybody's buddy and have some good fun, but if I want to feel someone's soul it becomes apparent that I am different in some way. I've stopped to consider what this means. I then realized that the only woman I have ever loved was an aspie, and that feeling of otherness was just never there with her.

Aspie friends - does what I am describing sound at all familiar to you?

I think AS-type thought patterns among women are very important in the context of societal evolution as well as direct interaction, regardless of how they see themselves.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

But what about in the context of dating and relationships? I'm wondering if I'm alone in finding it much easier to form that special connection with an aspie girl.

The girl who I have had by far the strongest attachment to is an aspie. Neither of us knew what we had when we were together, but we both knew we weren't typical. It was these mutual aspie traits that really attracted us to each other. I really felt accepted and comfortable around her.

cberg, I meant a feeling of them being fundamental different from me, not being "unusual", so the feeling of otherness in this case applies far more often to neurotypicals.

Yeah, I actually tend to find neurodiverse women more alien to my sensibilities, it's just the opposite perspective that draws me to the same conclusions...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Yes out of curiosity, I myself would love to meet a nice aspie female. Possibly to date as a girlfriend but even just to be friends with is okay.

I do see some aspie female around the same age as me on here in other sections, but I just don't genuinely feel comfortable messaging any of them.

I feel creepy and uncomfortable doing it, it might make them feel this way as well.

And also just no interest. I don't have any online friendships and I don't like online friendships anyway, and also I don't like the idea of using this site as a potential hook-up/pick-up site.

Anyway, from what I see, young and old, aspie females are interesting.

Adult aspie women have interesting perspectives on life and very wise advice. As in very different than the usual conformist N.T. advice that I see all over the internet that N.T. women get from all their silly dating magazines and 'dating coaches'.

And aspie girls the same age as me they're all interestingly unique it's amazing. I've seen young musicians interested in obscure genres like Ambient and Avant-Grande (I like Ambient and other experimental stuff myself), science and math lovers, poetry/writing, it's all amazing.

I know there's plenty of people interested in the arts, I am friends with many N.T females interested in writing, art, music, acting, and dance, but aspie females who like these things have something kind of...special about them.

You're right. I agree. And we'd both like to meet one.

@cberg: You have the right idea sir, I do something somewhat like this myself I have noticed. My female N.T friends are still the shy, awkward, nerdy types.

Assortive mating