What do you find attractive in your partner?

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I'm curious to know, what attracted to them when you first met and what attracts you to them in the present day. I'd like to know from both sexes' point of view. List any traits, personality traits, aesthetic traits, anything. Why are they a good match for you?

It may seem like a simple question but I want to know because in the past my only criteria for dating a girl was that they were willing to date me. This didn't lead to healthy relationships so I want to see which traits you all find attracted in your partners so I can get some idea of what would make a foundation for a healthy relationship instead of just "I'm with them because they're with me".

Looks:
-tall
-gorgeous face with clear blue eyes and beautiful lines
-3 days beard
-nice clothing style (somewhere between classical and casual)
-cute smile

Personality:
-intelligent
-intellectual and compatible interests
-kind
-caring
-goofy
-open minded
-laid back
-interested in me

I met my husband at a store where he was working and I was shopping. I asked him to help me find something (how romantic!! Hee hee). My English-speaking ability was poor at the time and he took the time to figure out what the heck I was saying and didn't treat me like I was an idiot (which was how almost everyone treated me when I first got here). I just thought he seemed kind. He was physically attractive- that helped too. And he appeared to be a person who bathes.

Other traits that he has that I find attractive (which I learned of later) include:
- he shares my sense of humour and I find him funny (a lot of people don't share my sense of humour so that is noteworthy)
- he's very smart and has interesting things to say
- those two combined mean I genuinely enjoy talking with him
- he shares most of my moral/ ethical beliefs (we have different religious beliefs- I think having similar moral beliefs is the only way that has worked)
- he likes to always be doing something purposeful and he is supportive of my goals as well
-he's a great father (there's seriously nothing more attractive to me than a man who is good with kids)

Our marriage really fell apart a few years ago, but Id say we had a good solid 18-19 years of functional relationship before then (and we haven't divorced). We are doing better again now than we were. No matter what happens, I don't regret it, so I thought I'd answer anyway.

it doesn't' both you he made low income working at a retail store?

Why should it bother her?

Poor people can find partners or they couldn't have kids. Poor people do have kids. If you were rich you'd never know if she loves you or just wants your money.

it bothers most women. so when I see one who says it didn't I'm curious as to why she goes against societies standards.

i think poop people getting married and having kids is in a decline. or all the poor oens got married early on. but most single women abid by the standards that if a guy doesn't make enough he's worthless trash to be avoided.

i honestly don't think those women can love anyone but their kids maybe. they'll never know true love. if the guy loses his job they leave him. idk who I'm more sad for the guy who thinks she loves him, or the woman who's tricked and deceived herself into thinking she loves him and not his income.

its always at the top of their requirements, meaning its the most important thing. then is car, and house, then comes the common interests. so having stuff in common and liking the guys personalty is far less important then his income, what car he drives and where he lives. does that sound like real love?

so just curious why the few women don't and where I might find one. though I fear the answer is I would need to move else where. I think women here are just too superficial perhaps due to it being a rich college town.
but even the poor women working the same job I do hold the same standards. so a poor woman working min wage expects the same guy a middl class woman making 22 an hour expects. hows that work. o.O

even though we've had this before. I'm highly attracted to playfulness. which is bieng playful and silly. I also like kind romantic women not interested in money or a mans income. someone who likes both outdoors and indoors(mostly indoors) someone into scfii and video games. likes cuddling/hugs/holding hands etc.

use to believe I didn't have to list the 2nd one. I was so hopeful and naive back then.

I remember before you said you want a younger, playful woman. Let me tell you that even women who are well over 30 can act cute, playful and young at heart.

22-30 is probably the age I want I'm 27 so I don't think they too younger.

most when hit 30 go all settling down mode and kids and family and seriousness. I'm not ready to go 0-100 in 60 seconds. I want 2-4 years of just being playful and romantic and spontaneous. women in their 30s are going to be pushing for kids and such as they have until 40 or less to have kids so if they want 4 kids spaced out they got to start as soon as possible. which i get, and they already had their fun relationships so they don't' miss them. but I dont' want to go from signle to father of 4 without a fun relationship. I would prefer to do it all with the same woman. I honeslty am not entirely sure I want kids. I mean I do but like I don't know if I can be a father to a 0-5 year dold. after five probably .also a lot of 30 or older women in my area heck even 25 or older already have 1-5 kids. so I would have to jump into being dad of 5 kids who aren't even mind and never will be and never have any kids of my own. that is really scary to me.

Yes women over 30 can be playful, romantic and spontaneous. Also they wouldn't want to have kids with you until they know you very well. It would take them years before they trust you that much. Also even if you're over 30 sometimes a 20 year old girl could still like you. Think of the giant amazon girl thread. That's a 20 year old girl flirting with a 33 year old guy.

idk I see people get married and pop out kids in around 6 months. some get pregnant and then married before 6 months. some have kids and haven't got married yet. most seem to married in kids after a year though. but that's their goal kids and family before its too late so they plan it out.

thats a 10 year age gap. roll back 10 years and you're 20 and shes 10. when you were 10 she wasn't alive yet.
but she thinks hes 24. or he says he looks 24. I'm 27 and feel weird trying to date a 23 year old.

Apart from meeting my absolute requirements (non-smoker, non-religious, introverted, attracted to me), my partner is:

- Intelligent
- Rational
- Calm
- Politically left wing
- Close to my height
- Androgynous.

I learned all of the above on or before the first date, so I've found those things attractive the whole time.

So androgyny is an attractive quality? I never knew.

Well, I like masculine (but not overly masculine) traits in both males and females...so that means androgyny in a female is what I'm generally attracted to.

But yes, anything can be an attractive quality, of course...we all have different taste.

No. We were 20 at the time so it was fairly common for everyone my age to have a low income job. I think how I'd feel about a low income job now would depend on why the man was stuck there. It's kind of complicated now because there's a lot of factors that affect someone's income. The money itself isn't a crucial aspect, but the reason why they don't have money would definitely matter.

what about 30s.

I'm stuck because every tim I tried i fail. theres more people looking for work then there's work so employers are super picky. not everyone can work a well paying job. mean the people working them don't retire until late 70s . so where as in the past they dstop at 50 or earlier and a younger person would take over now they work longer so the younger person cant take over combine that with many well paying jobs getting shipped over seas. I've tried so hard to get a better paying job so i can please women, all its got me is 11k in debt.

the reason is he works a low paying job o.O