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PixieXW
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16 Sep 2015, 2:09 pm

Ok, I am looking for someone who is either a counsellor, a psychologist or someone who can offer advice on our situation.
I have Asperger s syndrome and I think my current obsession is becoming my girlfriend. This is causing major problems. I spend a lot of time talking and thinking about her and when I m not able to contact her it has been known to totally ruin my day.
I need help.
I also suffer from a large amount of anxiety and depression. I am terrified of loosing my girlfriend, terrified of not loving her and sometimes these worries are making me cry myself to sleep out of fear or that impending sense of doom so common in depression.
I need someone s advice, someone impartial who can help us deal with this problem. Please reply to this if you feel you can help.
Thank you


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Last edited by PixieXW on 16 Sep 2015, 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Catlover5
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16 Sep 2015, 2:12 pm

I don't think it's a good idea to write your email address here, anyone can see it. I think you should ask a mod to move this thread to the members only discussion section.



RubyTates
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16 Sep 2015, 2:16 pm

I have known to become obsessed over things before to a degree where it affects my health. You have to know that it is something in our make-up that makes us react this way. For me, with a previous person- it lasted all of four years. Even when we had not seen each other for several years, I was still thinking about him all the time.

Fast forward to now, I become obsessed with things for several months at a time, for example like 6 months, and then I move on. It is important to focus on yourself and find a hobby that you really feel passionate about other than your girlfriend. It is nice that you are concerned about talking to her and keeping her, but sometimes realtionships do not last and I'm afraid that we are the ones to suffer because we have formed a deep emotional attachment to the person that they may not end up sharing especially when it's over.

See if you can find another thing to obsess over that will help improve yourself and make you more powerful. For example, I have focused on money management and investing. Yours could be something creative like photography, or your career. I hope this helps, but I know that you are in a tough predicament.



nick007
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18 Sep 2015, 10:41 pm

I got pretty obsessed with my girlfriends & got pretty worried about things happening to them before I got on medication for OCD & anxiety. I would suggest making an appointment with a psych for counseling &/or medication.


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Dr_Cheeba
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19 Sep 2015, 12:29 am

As was already mentioned, the best thing to do is distract yourself with another obsession or something of interest during the times of intense obsession. I know, it's hard... But you end up just pacing back and forth, constantly thinking about her and looking at your phone every 10 seconds if you don't find another interest to distract you.

I am exactly the same way, much more so when I was younger. So I completely understand. I remember once in early college my girlfriend went to a party, and I of course, didn't want to go. I literally could do nothing but think about her, wait for texts, and await her arrival. I basically paced for 5 hours running thoughts through my head. There was no need for this, we were in a close, happy relationship, but I couldn't help but obsess.

The story was similar almost every time we were apart. I just had to learn to stop driving myself insane and focus on other things.


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rdos
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19 Sep 2015, 12:50 pm

I'd say these obsessions are not necessarily always problematic, and they have an important function: to attach to a partner. It can certainly go wrong (and it has for me too), but that doesn't mean it is always bad. People simply have to learn to live with how they are. I don't think medication is the answer.

In regards to finding other interests, in my experience, a crush and obsession about a crush will "wipe out" any other interests and obsessions, so in that context I don't think it is possible to switch to any other interest.



HisShadowX
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20 Sep 2015, 6:18 am

PixieXW wrote:
Ok, I am looking for someone who is either a counsellor, a psychologist or someone who can offer advice on our situation.
I have Asperger s syndrome and I think my current obsession is becoming my girlfriend. This is causing major problems. I spend a lot of time talking and thinking about her and when I m not able to contact her it has been known to totally ruin my day.
I need help.
I also suffer from a large amount of anxiety and depression. I am terrified of loosing my girlfriend, terrified of not loving her and sometimes these worries are making me cry myself to sleep out of fear or that impending sense of doom so common in depression.
I need someone s advice, someone impartial who can help us deal with this problem. Please reply to this if you feel you can help.
Thank you


I am in the same boat as you as one of my special interests is my romantic life. I don't need to be around people all the time but I need that part of my life.

Bottom line and this is going to hurt but if she cannot accept you for who you are and always regards you as clingy you need to move on and find someone who can handle and wants and needs that.