Those of you with a spouse/partner...

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This is not a depressive post, but a simple query (hopefully).

To those of you with a long term partner, how did that come to be? I suppose I'm asking the "so how did you two meet" question. I couldn't immediately find another post like this - I don't like posting duplicate threads.

And I'm not trying to steal your moves.

Inside of a regular weekly Aspie social gathering. I was set up by a fellow female group member.

My NT spouse and I met on the starecase of a Sacramento health club in August of 1985 when I was still 22. What is most shocking is that I broke the ice by asking directions to some place in the building that I already knew the way to. We ended up spending the night together and started dating steadily later in November of that year before "shacking up" and eventually marrying in the Sacramento County clerk's office.
I understand that building now houses a church of all things?

in a van on the way to a training for work. i asked him about his interests (i asked everyone on the van) and found we shared some. he also shared some of his writing at the training and it was powerful. i asked him out.

My husband and I first met on here about 2 1/2 years ago. I discovered that we had a lot in common. We were first talking as friends, then we went to texting each other back and forth. We also went on a few dates and went bowling, had fun at a nearby arcade, and I even met his parents. After a year, my husband proposed to me. So after a few months, I moved to his home in Brecksville, and we got married about 7 months later.

We were both in college in the early 1990's, about halfway through. Same major, both took a course that only had about dozen people in it. We were (still are) both introverts so it seemed I'd never get to know her, so I did something completely out of character and far out of my comfort zone. I asked her and her bf/wingman if they wanted to make a study group. We met maybe twice but in the meantime I found out she worked at an on campus cafe and I sorta made that my study hall. We started going for walks to continue our conversations; after a while they became walks + picnics off campus in the nearby park. One day we were leaving campus and she told me she'd broken up with her fiance...and by chance I'd hidden a bouquet of flowers for her at our destination. We've been pretty much inseparable ever since.

Match.com. First and only person I ever met online. We're together 12 years in February, our 9th wedding anniversary is Wednesday.

Funny circumstances, I specifically paid for the membership to contact her because her profile was so disjointed, honest and intriguing. Never heard back. Waited two weeks and tried again, which is very, very much not like me (persistence in any way is very alien I am a born quitter), and she then responded because my name was Candiria718, and she was a Candiria fan too (another VERY VERY rare thing). Turns out she never got my first message at all, and was seeing someone else. Had she gotten it she would have told me she was dating and that would have been that. How often does an e-mail not get to it's destination? If that's not fate I don't know what is...

Dance places. We kind of looked after each others, and then one night we danced almost every dance. After the dance we setup to meet again (exchanged phone numbers). Then we just kind of got together. There was no dating involved.

I met her on this forum by posting aLOT about what I wanted in a partner, what I had to offer a partner & my personality within a relationship. I'm very unique with that & she matched it well.

I found my husband on OKcupid. I read his profile and immediately crushed on him because he was obviously very smart and sensitive and had values similar to my own. I love written language and I feel like it is easier to get to know a person through writing than through spoken language. I didn't know much about autism before we met but I think that was why I was attracted to him and it caused me to want to pursue a diagnosis myself.

We had the same major in college. A mutual friend introduced us. After that, we occasionally said "hi" in the halls. A few months later, we ended up hanging out quite a bit and became best friends. He developed feelings for me, and told me so. I said, "I have no interest in dating you whatsoever" (yes, those were my actual words), but still hung out with him as before. A few weeks later, he brought it up again. Long story short, I figured out he was "the one" and we got engaged not long after that. We've been together for 21 years, married for 18. We would have married sooner, except that I needed to finish school.

BTW, one of the ways I "figured it out" was because my mom said to me, "But he understands you! You better not let him go - you might never find another who does!"

I'm now long-divorced, but I met my then-later-to-be husband through a new group of friends I had made.

The newness of the social circle was what threw up a different set of friends-of-friends, and my husband was a friend of a friend in that social circle.

My friend thought he and I might get along well, and she suggested that I ask him for a ride home that night from the gathering we were at.

During the ride home he and I did indeed have lots in common and had a great talk. He dropped me off and asked for my number, and gave me his. After that we met up for brunch another day, then went for country drives. We were strictly friends/platonic for several weeks; we didn't rush into a romance but rather simply had friendly fun driving around, going out to eat, and talking about all kinds of things.

So, for me, a friend introducing me to one of her social group's friends was how I met my husband.

I met her on eHarmony. After experiencing nothing but disappointment (much more quantity over quality) I was burned out and let my membership expire for good. I was getting plenty of attention but most women seemed to be flaky and frustrating to deal with. As I was getting ready to wind down my account (was still in communication with someone else) I saw a message from a woman I ignored because she was outside my age parameters and we had little in common.

She then sent me a second 'nudge' just before I hit the 'delete' button and I decided what the heck, she might be a good person and is obviously smart. I felt an instant connection with her and after three dates, knew she might have been the one even though she seemed a but standoffish. I soon found out she was just nervous, introverted and inexperienced in dating. Just over 4 months after that I asked her to marry me. She was shocked, taken by total surprise but eventually said yes.

We might not have many common interests but our values, goals and families are nearly identical. Her life story is frighteningly similar and she does have plenty of Aspie characteristics meaning she "gets" me like few others do. When I visit with her parents they treat me like they have known me their whole lives. Still have yet to have a single fight to this date!

I later found out she saw my profile on Meetup and arranged to meet me at a local singles event, one that I cancelled at the very last minute due to an urgent matter. I knew she had potential when she cancelled the second date but immediately offered an alternative time right there and then.