Help me understand this rejection?

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My colleague seemed to enjoy looking at me and talking to me on the odd occasion so last week I asked if she wanted to grab something for lunch and she said "not this lunch time I have errands" so I left it at that and this Monday morning I asked "are you free for lunch this week?", she looked at me square in the eyes dead serious and said "I'm going to be eating at my desk every day this week to be honest..... Alright?" no smiles or counter offers, then she walks off. And a minute later I walk past seeing her and her colleague with big smiles, which they drop as soon as they see me.

So what happened?

I thought she liked me, a few weeks back at a gathering I saw her looking at me from the corner of my eyes, so I managed to slowly move my head to catch her eye at the same time and we stared at each other for at least 5 seconds before she got nervous, then I started a small conversation that turned out pretty well with smiles and constant eye contact.

After I asked her to lunch last week she still spoke to me and smiled at me the next day, a genuine smile with narrowed eyes as if she was genuinely happy I had asked her? But I can't get the date?

She's not interested in you. She said no the first time, you asked again and got the same answer. Asking her out the second time, within days of the first no was pushing it and probably made her very uncomfortable. Why she isn't interested in you isn't something random strangers can fathom.

You tried. You get points for trying. That's all you can do. Except taking the first no for an answer next time.

It takes a guy like me some encouragement to even try. I feel like I got that encouragement, maybe I'm wrong?

How can not interested in someone involve looking at them a lot? Although she seems to stop and start doing that at random.

If you can understand women, let me in on the secret. That is still something I am unable to do, even after being married to one for 15 years.

Try to date your colleagues at your own risk. I don't recommend it as you have to work with them every day. Even if you end up dating someone for a while, once the relationship ends things can get awkward.

I think she does like you, but maybe she is not interested in anything beyond general friendliness. My guess is she doesn't want to reject you openly because she thinks you're a nice person, but she also doesn't want you to get the wrong idea.

But I could be wrong, interpreting social situations was never one of my strong points.

Are you looking at her a lot? If you look at her a lot, and she looks back a lot, it's because you're looking at her first. It's as simple as that.

It sounds to me like your persistence makes her uncomfortable. You may have had a conversation with her once, but she could've just been friendly and was indulging you, as is the polite thing to do with most people you're at a gathering with.

Am I a bad person now? Will people think I am?

No you are not and no they should not.

No, you're not, and they probably won't. These things happen and we learn; don't let it bring you down

When he asked the first time, she didn't say that wasn't interested, just that she didn't have time that day. Therefore, it's understandable that he didn't take the first time as a rejection and asked again.

True that, she literally said "not this lunch time I have errands" - so it can interpreted as an indirect rejection or as a honest answer.

As for the rejection itself, it was a rejection in a not-so-nice fashion, some girls feel it's acceptable to be mean to the guys asking her out who she perceives 'beneath her level', some would even feel offended.

You dodged a bullet. Don't befriend her either, keep relation work-only. No staring, no smiles.

missy is a troll, another katy's sockpoppet.

OP, I suggest you just play it cool now. If she's interested, balls in her court. You have made it clear you would be interested in getting lunch.

Just be a friend from this point on. Should you accept it as a rejection? For now, yes. But who knows, second time you asked she might have just been in a bad mood.

That's what I mean, it's too early right now to determine anything. Yes you asked twice but first time was a 'can't too busy', second was a rejection but very odd/unusual. Because she's been friendly/polite to you every other time.

So yeah, just be polite and friendly back.

I dunno, it would seem she is pretty clearly uninterested and uncomfortable. I would move on and cease any non-professional interaction with her, no more smiles or friendly vibes her way. Just business.

I'm an NT female and this is my spin on it. I think she was just being friendly at first and when you asked her out she was trying to let you down gently. It is very rare you will find an NT who would simply say 'No, I don't want to go out with you' even if that may be the honest answer. If someone is interested and they are genuinely unable to go that day/time. They would try to arrange another time or at least exchange numbers or something to show they were interested.
I wouldn't say that how she was behaving was anything more than friendly at first. Maybe if you're n the same situation in future try a few compliments and see what reaction you get. If you get a compliment back then they probably like you and I would say it's worth asking for a date. If you just get a 'thanks' then maybe not. That's how NT's flirt in my experience. They make the conversation increasingly more flirty but always at a point they could pass it off as friendliness until they are sure their feelings are reciprocated. Only then would they risk asking for a date. I suppose it's to protect against rejection.