Who else is the 40 Year-Old Virgin??

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Just want to know who else with Aspergers is in that same boat and if they had any solution to it. I am about to be the 41 y/o Virgin in January but would rather have a relationship. Any advice?

Can't help you there.

I went through my entire 20s without a friend in the world let alone a romantic partner.

When I hit thirty it hit me pretty hard how much this disease has f-ed up my life.

Craigslist casual encounters if someone just wants to.. do it with little social interaction seems good. I am half joking.

I'm 20 and no idea when I will have sex.

Not in the same boat.

Having sex is not really what you're missing out on, it's companionship. Random hookups using the internet is just going to distort a persons perception of intimacy.

I guess a person in this situation is fortunate in that there a plenty of dating websites these days where you can find someone and go for a date. You can create a profile, explain that social things are not exactly your forte, but that you have other good qualities. I'm sure there are other people out there who would be happy going for a date with an honest person without a lot of relationship baggage. Also, if you're a guy it's even easier as the woman typically does most of the talking. If the date is activity based (e.g. cinema, or bowling) then it generally makes it easier for people with AS.

If companionship is the goal then good luck.

I'm a 36 year old virgin, and I don't really care. I find that my social life and special interests seem a lot more exciting, than having some man dominating my body. I'm not diseased either. I'm different. My priorities are different. I like to keep myself busy, so that I'm not thinking about shagging.

I wish that I had some advice to give, but due to the nature of my ways, I can't offer anything.

I'm a 30-year-old virgin, quite likely to be at 40 too although you never know. It used to bother me more but it's not a high priority these days. It'd be nice, but I can take it or leave it now.

i am so far beyond the 40-year-old virgin that i make him look like a teenager.

Why not try an online dating site?

i've tried the old-fashioned kind, face2face in an office, and found that i was nobody's idea of mate material. so i took my ball[s] and went home and stayed home.

6 years past that milestone-I have no idea how and don't know when it will happen for me-though I do try but get nowhere-I just can't figure it out and that with not so good looks and intense shyness-I am clueless.Wih me its like being in a candy store-I like a lot of the candy but the candy could care less about me.

I would die. I've tried the online dating thing and just found it was a con. Might right a post about it actually to warn people.

I second this.

I started working this approach in earnest about a month ago. The rejection is frequent, so it's not for the faint-of-heart. I had another first date last night that I thought was really promising. I thought it was going pretty well but it got shut down with some pretty awkward excuses after about 1.5 hours and I really don't expect to get a second date.

I like OK Cupid, which is free, here's my profile - I've actually gotten a few first dates from it:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lost-in-oc

The way I feel right now, I wonder if doing something is really better than just giving up - being alone sucks, but it doesn't hurt as much as face-to-face rejection does: AS truly and deeply sucks.

Good Luck!

Might happen to me too. I'm 32 years old by now (turning 33 in February).
I'd like to have a family but I have to admit that I was always happy when a relationship turned into a friendship again.

I can't imagine using a dating website since I think I would show in another way than in public.
Additionally I do not know whether I want to deal with NTs using such websites.

not in the same boat

ive had an okcupid profile for the past eight months, and have had a few great conversations with some seemingly interesting people, one of whom has asperger's. it's totally free, though absolutely filled with people i would never click with. i recently asked this chick out on a date whom i think i would click with based on our conversations and her personal description on her profile, but she lives over 100 miles away and has no mode of transportation. sucks...anyway i keep my profile active, just in case. might be worth a shot.

also, im in an AS support group. it's all guys so far, and i'm straight. ive heard stories of girls attending, however. hopefully that happens soon.

I'm having the same thing happen to me as well. Oh well. I'm 25. I got time.

Have you tried dating foreigners? (Foreign to whatever you are).

The more foreign, the better (i.e., not Canadian & American, that's almost the same).

Why? Well, with a slight language, culture and communication gap, I would think there's less chance of being detected as "weird" and summarily rejected.

On the other hand, intercultural relationships may have less staying power over time (?).

As for dating sites, avoid eHarmony, unless you like being rejected, not by prospective dates, but by the dating site itself (you won't get a chance to be rejected by prospective dates). They ask you a whole bunch of questions to determine if you're suitable to meet people on their site. I'm pretty sure their questionnaire is designed to weed out people on the spectrum, or introverts in general. Come to think of it, I'm gonna start a thread on this topic.