Page 1 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Liamzan
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 17 Sep 2015
Age: 34
Posts: 5

17 Sep 2015, 5:08 pm

So there's this pretty, popular girl at my university who shares a lot of classes with me. Every time we see each other she makes an effort to be nice and speak with me. I don't know why this is. I'm very shy, and tend to keep to myself as much as possible. Nor would I be considered even close to good looking. Yesterday, after our last class together, she asked me if I'd like to go see a movie or something with her sometime. I said okay, thinking she probably wouldn't follow up on it anyway. So we exchanged numbers, and before leaving she said, "Alright then, it's a date. I'll text you later." So I guess I'm going on a date now. With someone completely out of my league. I can't help but think this is some kind of trap, and she's just going to stand me up and laugh at me. It doesn't make sense that she would be interested in someone like me. Should I even bother going? :?



watson503
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jun 2015
Age: 53
Posts: 48
Location: United States

17 Sep 2015, 5:13 pm

Most definitely! I seriously doubt it is a trap of any sort and you'll probably have a great time. I've felt the same way in the past and recently had a first date with someone, I tried to talk myself out of it several times and almost turned-around on the way to meet her but actually ended-up having a great time and was beyond glad I went.



MonsterCrack
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jul 2015
Age: 27
Posts: 736
Location: John's Creek, Georgia

17 Sep 2015, 5:35 pm

I think you should go through with it... I doubt that she's playing tricks on you, and even if she was, are you willing to risk not going to the date and breaking HER heart all because you thought SHE would? Than you'd be doing something wrong.... And besides, from the sound of it she sounds like she actually likes you. Just try it, man.



Drawyer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,860
Location: Away

17 Sep 2015, 6:30 pm

She saw something in you, something that attracts her. Men don't know which elements women could be fall for in my opinion. She likes you, don't hurt her.


_________________
"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

17 Sep 2015, 8:04 pm

"It's a date" generally means basically "we have set up a time and date and this event is going ahead", not "I'm declaring that this will be a romantic date".

I just felt a need to clear that up, but it still looks very much like a date to me ;)



Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Arizona

17 Sep 2015, 8:57 pm

dude you'll hate yourself if you don't

I'd be paranoid about a trap too but think about how irrational that is

even if it is, it makes her look like the loser.



Brianruns10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,089

17 Sep 2015, 10:52 pm

Do it. Do it. DO IT. You're living the dream. I've NEVER been asked out on a date by a woman, let alone one who was out of my league. You're being handed a gift from god. I mean, I'd give ANYTHING if a cute woman asked me out for once.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Sep 2015, 1:28 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
"It's a date" generally means basically "we have set up a time and date and this event is going ahead", not "I'm declaring that this will be a romantic date".

I just felt a need to clear that up, but it still looks very much like a date to me ;)


No, "it's a date" between one guy and one girl is always something with romantic intention.

She would deny it so only if she doesn't like him after the date.



Cockroach96
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 3,162
Location: Romania

18 Sep 2015, 1:36 am

Don't be so tough with yourself. She may be out of your league, but it doesn't matter. She likes you. You're a lucky man. Go for it and try not to screw it up.

Good luck and have fun!


_________________
I'm a Romanian aspie.


Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,791
Location: USA

18 Sep 2015, 2:11 am

GO GO GO GO GO! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! DON'T THROW YOUR OPPORTUNITIES AWAY!


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

18 Sep 2015, 3:00 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
"It's a date" generally means basically "we have set up a time and date and this event is going ahead", not "I'm declaring that this will be a romantic date".

I just felt a need to clear that up, but it still looks very much like a date to me ;)


No, "it's a date" between one guy and one girl is always something with romantic intention.

She would deny it so only if she doesn't like him after the date.

No, it's really not. At least not where I live. It's a common term used between any two people to say "yes, this will happen".

Here are a few random resources:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=it%27s+a+date
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/it-s-a-date
http://forum.wordreference.com/threads/its-a-date.916348/


The sex of the two people doesn't matter. But as I said earlier, it doesn't mean that she doesn't think it's a date...just that that particular phrase generally doesn't mean that. It is more casual/informal/general/broad.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Sep 2015, 3:04 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
"It's a date" generally means basically "we have set up a time and date and this event is going ahead", not "I'm declaring that this will be a romantic date".

I just felt a need to clear that up, but it still looks very much like a date to me ;)


No, "it's a date" between one guy and one girl is always something with romantic intention.

She would deny it so only if she doesn't like him after the date.

No, it's really not. At least not where I live. It's a common term used between any two people to say "yes, this will happen".

Here are a few random resources:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=it%27s+a+date
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/it-s-a-date
http://forum.wordreference.com/threads/its-a-date.916348/


The sex of the two people doesn't matter. But as I said earlier, it doesn't mean that she doesn't think it's a date...just that that particular phrase generally doesn't mean that. It is more casual/informal/general/broad.


I doubt that an adult woman would be that naive and thinks a guy she asked out for a one-to-one would not take this as a romantic date.



izzeme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

18 Sep 2015, 3:33 am

"out of my league" is an excuse invented to justify not making a move on an attractive person (male or female) due to anxiety; "leagues" don't exist in this definition.

Definitely go on this "date", at worst, you will have made a friend. A friend which might help you get to know other women (she probarbly has some attractive, single friends as well).
If you are lucky, the date is romantic in nature, and the advantages of that are obvious.

In short: definitely go, you got nothing to lose



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

18 Sep 2015, 7:30 am

I think because most, if not all, aspie guys have trouble getting dates in the first place, each instance of a date seems like a big deal. It's not. It's just two people meeting to get to know each other better and feel out each other's personality. And remember: you're deciding if she's right for you just as much as she's deciding if you're right for her. Go see that lady friend of yours, do something low key (like get ice cream together), and let us know how it went.

That said, if she does stand you up, don't sit there waiting more than 15 minutes. Promptly leave, and forget about it.



Catlover5
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 May 2015
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,199
Location: Norfolk, UK

18 Sep 2015, 8:45 am

Yes! Definitely! Even if she does stand you up, which I'm very sure she won't, at least you can be proud of yourself for trying.

In the words of Charlotte Brontë, "Better to try all things and find all empty than to try nothing and leave your life a blank."



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Sep 2015, 10:00 am

Aspie1 wrote:
I think because most, if not all, aspie guys have trouble getting dates in the first place, each instance of a date seems like a big deal. It's not. It's just two people meeting to get to know each other better and feel out each other's personality. And remember: you're deciding if she's right for you just as much as she's deciding if you're right for her. Go see that lady friend of yours, do something low key (like get ice cream together), and let us know how it went.

That said, if she does stand you up, don't sit there waiting more than 15 minutes. Promptly leave, and forget about it.


This, 1000 this!

I was wondering the same why all these "OMG A FEMALE ASKED YOU OUT? YES!! GO! GO! GO!" coming from the males here - this is wrong, guys, this is not how it should be, this is a lapdog reaction to a cookie.

Compare your responses with girls' responses when their female friend asked whether or not she should go out with some guy X he asked her out- the girls would usually evaluate the info she gives about the guy and each would come up with thoughtful opinion why she should go for him or not - you won't hear from them saying "OMFG!! YES GO FOR HIM" - unless maybe if he's some hot Hollywood star.

Remember OP, remember all of you guys here, we guys also have the right to say NO for a girl asking us out, it shouldn't be an automatic Yes just because....well....a girl asked us out.

If you see serious signs of creepiness, trap, mean vibes from her or you simply don't like her or you have any other genuine reason to reject her .....then don't be feel too pressured to say Yes! say only Yes if you feel like it.

If I were you, I would do as Aspie1 suggested, taking it lightly and not so seriously until proven otherwise, provided I don't have a good reason to reject her - but only you know this girl well.