Catching signals meant for others?

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There's this girl who's a reasonably good friend of me and goes to the same school as me.
She (and her best friends which are also my best friends) played a school-play.
It was the last time they did this so there was this afterparty.
I used to have a thing for this girl a few months ago but went away but came back a week ago.
At the party, she was really friendly, she 'urged' me to dance with her a couple of times (which i did).
I constantly 'received' these signals from her because after an hour or 2, i thought like, 'maybe this is the time i should just GO for it'.
As i was prepping myself up a bit, some friends went downstairs to smoke some pot so i came along.
When i came back, i noticed that she was kissing with this other guy from school.
I got pissed off bad but just went outside to freak out a bit (i said i was going to the bathroom).

The thing is, this was the first time i was ready to go after a girl because i thought i catched her signals.
Turns out they weren't for me at all.
Am i just imagining this or is this possible?
Or could it be that they were for me but since i maybe didn't fully catch them or acted upon them she might've taken this as a rejection?



Do any of you guys notice/experience this too?



On a side note about the girl:
She isn't an average girl, for ex: she makes schemes about how her day will go and finds it hard to go off scheme.
She 'needs' to know a lot about what we're going to do and when we do something, she stresses a lot about it.
(example: she was at a party and she had to pick up a friend at 1AM, at 12PM, she starts 'stressing' about it.)
She also has this funny thing about always having the need to have the smallest tea-spoon when she eats yoghurt.
I sometimes think she's autistic too but then i think that's just me trying to label her as something that appeals to me (in some way).

you are real sweet thinking she knows what she wants and what she is doing about getting it.

I think she wanted someone to kiss. Someone else figured it out before you did and kissed her. Sorry if you thought you were the only one on her list.

but think about it for a minute. If she was so obvious that even an Aspie picked up on her signals, then think how blatent she was to the NTs in the room!

and also, but it seems a little mercenary, she might have been using you to get the guy that finally ended up kissing her interested in her. Sorry.


Merle

I've definitely been in the position where I delayed too long
(or worse yet, actually did things to indicate that I wasn't
interested). Somehow, I suspect that we have to be far
more blatant than I could ever be comfortable with.
Perhaps it's time to put on my 'a**hole' hat. Don't
know if I'm interested in the kind of person who'd
respond to that though.

sinsboldldy, that could be possible.
But i really don't see her as a kind of girl that would do this.
She hasn't had a boyfriend for 1 or 2 years i think.
Also, they were talking a lot on a serious level so i don't think it's that superficial..

not the kind of a girl that would do what? come on to you then kiss someone else? Looks like she already did that, so it would follow she IS that kind of a girl, eh?


Merle

Well, then the question is; was she coming on to me?
As an aspie, i'm not confident enough about my social skills to be even 20% sure she meant anything by it.

ok, I can only go by what you tell me, and you are telling me you are not even 20% sure what is going on. so you and I are just nattering on about something that might have happened.
A couple of things stand out in my recollection and that is you went to the basement to toke some weed and when you came back, she had moved on to someone else.

maybe she isn't into guys that toke up?


Merle

Well, i know she wants to smoke pot herself but i'm just going to let this rest as it seems like it has become a discussion..

ok, I must have misunderstood the reason you posted it, I didn't know you didn't want to discuss it.


sorry, totally didn't pick up on that!

Merle

I'm not very good at this am i?
I was trying to get some possible answers out of it to think them out on my own afterwards.

hey, AdrianB,
I just liked talking to ya' is all, you seemed like a thoughtful person and had a lot of hope for this girl. I wish you the best!

Merle

This sounds so like me. Being absolutely certain someone is
interested, and then flip-flopping. Which is probably the essence
of the problem. An NT would just chug the drink and go for it,
rather than debating all the possibilities.

Hahaha.
That's so true it made me laugh.

I always try to consider every possible tiny detail about a problem.
By the time i'm halfway, she's taken

But i had a conversation with her on MSN yesterday, she seems friendlier then before and now, i'm happy i can at least have her as a good friend!

@Sinsboldly, thanks!.

And you know, you never really know.
Most of the women that I've become
lovers with, I started out as friends
(while they were taken).

yea it happened to me ...i was catching signs from this girls during months but they were meant to a 'friend'(not very close friends) of mine instead all the time.

i was even told by a female friend that some girls tend to like to have a bf and like to keep fans around in the same time .

just ask her to her face!