Can someone help me understand this situation?

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Because I just cant go on anymore. I am utterly confused.
I have AS, and I am pretty what they call high functioning-I study at the university, I share a flat with four friends...and so on. But nevertheless, the little problems are still present, I guess you all know something about that.
The thing is that I am currently in a relationship I just cant understand.
I have a friend of eight years, I have known him since my 14 and there was always a lot of chemistry between us. He helped me to get through A LOT- when I was bullied, he protected me, he let me stay at his place for a week when I ran away from home at 17, he even started to live with me this September.
And he started sleeping with me this May.

He has a lot of problems inside too. He suffers from ADD, depression and what I think is low self esteem. He is brilliant when he goes out, he is popular, but he can be quite arrogant and some of his remarks make me cry, as I always take everything literally. I have told him so and he told me oh come on I dont REALLY mean it, it is just fun-okay. But it still hurts.

Nevertheless, when we are just alone, and you would watch us unseen, you would think we are a pair. We cook for ourselves, we wash our clothes, we talk a lot and we know our families very well and we have common friends. We make love and we cuddle. We laugh and have a blast together.
And then he says he doesnt love me and isnt attracted to me at all.

I know that he has his moods. We are not a pair. And I would really want us to be a pair. But he would not.
Sometimes he says that it is because he is not in love with me.
The other times, he says he is scared and none of his relationships ever worked and he is afraid he would lose me and what would he do then where would he live...And me trying to persuade him it would not be like that makes him just angry.

It already happened once. I got enough of all of that and decided to cut him off completely of my life, although I love him as I have never loved anyone before. A year and a half of no chatting, we never saw ourselves, we didnt talk on the phone, NOTHING. We didnt exist.
But it didnt work. I have been through another relationship, official commited one. I really loved him, but what scared me was that even though we didnt talk, I loved them both.
It always happens. The more lovers I have, the more I love them all.
I never forget anything. Its my wrecked aspie mind. I try so hard, my week is filled with school and work and volunteering.
NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK.
I just dont know what to do.
I respect that he may not really love me.
But its so hard I just dont know what to do.
I have been through a hell of a night.

First of all, I'm sorry about your situation, and I hope it resolves for you somehow. However...

If your man friend is anything like me, I was never attracted to any of my past girlfriends. Now, don't judge me for that. Physical attraction, in my mind, was always only for celebrities and women who wouldn't touch me with a 10-foot pole. I still did everything a good boyfriend is supposed to do, and make sure she they felt good in the relationship with me, up until the break-up, usually initiated by her. I felt it was my moral duty to be a good boyfriend.

If you're not currently in a relationship, perhaps there's no harm in a quick social meeting, like a lunch. Something in a public place, where there is no possibility of clothes coming off, should chemistry get the best of you. This way, you can have a serious talk, and decide where you want to go from there.

You should tell him that you want a boyfriend & that you will cut him off from sex & cuddles if he's not ready to be that.