Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

Post Reply New Topic

These are nothing but anecdotes. Online dating is quite different where women sometimes do the chasing initially. Nature is sexist, whether you like it or not. There are statistically measurable differences in the behavior of men and women(and that even applies to trans people). I have never been chased by a woman IRL even though I don't deny it happens sometimes.....why do you suppose that is? The only time a woman has ever engaged in "chasing" behavior towards me offline is when she is flirting with me and in each situation like that, when I try to pursue it with her she runs off because she realized she gave me the wrong idea.

And what is the problem with Anecdote? LOL

Statistics frequently don't reflect what's really "happening."

Nobody has 2.3 kids, or 1.8 cars in their garage.

Anecdote serves as a necessary adjunct/complement to statistical measures. It is an essential component of what is called "Qualitative Research."

Well, that's really just how I feel about myself. It's subjective. Maybe how I am isn't quite what most men are looking for. Not as good as all the normal women they can choose from, but you never know, maybe for one person I'll meet when I'm 55, I'll be exactly what he was looking for.

I didn't mean that to be take personally. I'm just making the point that it's not easier for women, counteracting the popular misconception that looks are all that matter and that if you're pretty you'll be snapped up no problem.

You're right. Trouble is that wilburforce makes it sound like this sort of thing is commonplace, but when I go out into the world and talk to real people I see no evidence that women ask men out to the same extent that men ask out women. DO NOT MISINTERPRET ME: This is not a claim that it never happpens! But until I observe it I am going to be skeptical. It is has certainly never happened to me. People just don't practice what they preach too often. One thing you have to keep in mind is that advertising is based on the belief that there are statistically measurable patterns in terms of what people want and what they respond to. Certain things are marketed to men and certain things are marketed to women and there is extensive market research on what people want to buy based on their sex(or sexuality). And it PAY$ OFF. Big time! Stereotypes are like rumors: Some of them are patently false, but others turn out to be true more than 50% of the time. No 2 people are exactly alike, but maybe....just maybe people really aren't as "yooneek" and "speshul" as they like to think they are.

I

It's OK, it's not your fault I took it personally. I always think negatively about myself. I always think of myself as inferior. I had my first, brief relationship when I was 27, I see teenaged couples and I think I must be inferior, like at 27 I had the same intelligence and maturity and an average teenager.

You're right that it's not easier for women. The problem some women have of not getting asked out is just as bad as the problem men have of asking women out and getting rejected. It must be very difficult for women who never ever get asked out. Just as hard as it is for guys who get nervous about asking girls out.

I know that there are some guys who think all would be solved if only girls asked guys out. I have nothing against girls who ask guys out but it's not a complete solution. It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul. Just shifting the same problem elsewhere.

I know there are many guys who feel nervous about asking girls out but if we had a culture were girls did the asking, then many girls would feel nervous about asking guys out and it would be exactly the same problem, just gender reversed.

I know it must be very hard for plain looking women who hardly ever get asked out. I'm sure in some ways it's hard for the really pretty women who get hit on all the time but at least they have their pick.

My female friends really don't like asking men out because they feel like if the man actually was interested he would ask first because it's what men do.

For them to ask the man they would need to feel certain he liked them, but wasn't asking them because he was too shy.

Although I do have some female friends who asked the man out or who even proposed marriage, but they are in the minority.

and it seems there are more male FA's 25+ years of age than female FA's that are 25+ years of age, as in always been single, maybe women are less vocal about it than men are

If you’re pretty, a lot of guys will want to hit on you, but they may know better than to act on their desire.

Yep or just women in general as 90% or more of women I find pretty

It does happen---women asking out men---but it's not common.

Especially away from major metropolitan areas and college towns, the old gender roles still hold sway.

There is probably more respect for women than there was a couple of generations ago, though. Womens Lib has made inroads.

But women, by and large, still expect men to ask them out on dates.

Within an academic environment, or the "hip" parts of relatively liberal East/West Coast cities (within a US context), women might be more likely to ask a man out.

Within the suburbs of these cities....nope. Not really. Except rarely.

I've been in academic environments and I live in a fairly hip part of the PacNW, and this behavior you speak of is still pretty uncommon even here. A woman asking a man out is viewed by many people as being desperate unless the guy is actively checking her out since it's assumed that if she's the least bit attractive men will ask her out. For the most part I see plenty of men asking out women and plenty of stories from women about "creeeepy" guys hitting on them.


What I actually suspect is that for a guy to be asked out, he has to be VERY desirable and/or ultra-high status. Most guys just don't have that kind of luck. I mean, you know there are male prostitutes that sleep with women, right? They're called "hustlers" or "gigolos" but there are far fewer of them and if I or the average man tried to earn a living that way I'd be lucky to get 1 woman in the space of a year.

You know what that means, then.

You have to ask a girl out. Don't wait for girls to ask you out.

Such is life in this big, bad world.

Yeah...it might not be "fair" or whatever---but life is not always fair.

I'm a pretty shy guy. I used to visibly shake when I used to ask girls out.

If I waited for a girl to ask me out, I'd still be a dateless virgin at age 54.

When I signed up I chose male on my profile because I thought I might be able to avoid some sexist nonsense that way--I have since been unable to change my profile to reflect that I am female.

Well, since we live in a sexist culture (still) and still teach our children outmoded sexist stereotypes about what it means to be male and female, that is to be expected. That doesn't mean however that men and women are biologically determined to have different behaviour based on sex alone, or that there aren't many people who don't conform to those stereotypes because their sexist social training didn't really take for various reasons, or that things might be different in the future and we might see less difference between the sexes in regards to behaviour if we stop teaching sexist stereotypes and let people grow into who they want to be naturally without forcing stupid outmoded gender roles on them.

The idea that we're somehow going to transition to society with completely fluid gender roles is pretty silly I think, women aren't ever going to in any significant number initiate relationships simply because most don't have to and most guys do so unless there are way way more women than men in the future and the value of men goes up be it thru war or whatever then I don't see things ever really changing as far as that goes and that would only change as long as the imbalance goes. Not to say some women initiate but most don't, once again it's just biology. We just have to accept that men and women are different, it just sucks that I'm essentially a social cripple and what is expected out of me is exactly what I can't do but I can't change nature. It is stupid to demand and even stupider to expect women to ask you out, that's not how it works for us.

Biological essentialism is not supported by scientific evidence (what we are is a complex mix of nature vs nurture--our genes, our family lives, our communities, and our culture all effect our development), and is a weak argument relied on by people who have trouble with nuanced concepts and can't think beyond rigid black-and-white constructs.