How to date in college?
I was wondering if anyone here had any dating tips specifically for college students with Asperger's Syndrome/autism.
Personally, I have been floundering in the dating world. I have taken three different girls at my college out now that I met at the bus stop, the library, and other places around campus. I don't drink, so we just went out for coffee or ice cream, or something small to eat somewhere, just to talk and get to know each other more.
I realize that I am not the best in conversation and tend to talk too much, especially about myself, and I try my hardest to let the other person share some things about themselves as well.
But the hardest part is that I have difficulties telling whether people like me or not, and whether people just want to be friends or whether they're looking for something more.
These girls seemed interested in me, so we exchanged telephone numbers and texted/called back and forth, but then for whatever reason they suddenly stop talking to me. Two of them I had feelings for and told them about this, and they told me they already had boyfriends and that I needed to stay away. The third just suddenly ignored my texts and has been avoiding me when I've seen her around campus.
I am frustrated and upset because I can't seem to grasp the "magic" of friendships and relationships. I want friends, but yet I also have this burning desire to find a partner in life, someone that can be by my side and help me when things get rough, and that I can do the same for them. I have dreams of starting a family someday and having kids, as I had it rough in life after going through many years of being abused and ridiculed by my parents for being "different", plus growing up in poverty did not make it easy either. I want my kids to have a better childhood than I did, and to be able to support them and help them to succeed, and in doing so, relive my childhood through them, and to help my future wife as well and be a loving, kind husband and father.
But it's hard to achieve these goals when I am not given the chance to do so. I know I'm a good, kind person, and I just want others to accept me with kindness, love, and compassion.
I don't mean for this to be any sort of a rant, but it does worry me and I obsess over it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Keep getting out there and meeting people like you're doing. Even try asking out more people. You will get better from practice. Don't get discouraged/dependent on the outcome because all of this is a learning experience.
_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social
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