Multiple guys competing for one girl

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Every single girl I like, there's always multiple guys competing for her and trying to talk to her. I like to think i'm on the bachelorette and i'm one of 10 other guys trying to win one girl's heart. And I always lose. =/ Some other guy who's taller, more charming, and a better talker then me always beats me out. It sucks.

So yeah, have you ever really liked a girl only for another guy to come along and win her heart?

Not really. Most of the oddballs that I like don't have a lot of guys competing for them. Typically, the verbal guys with no persistence have no chance on them anyway.

So if you consistently like girls that a horde of other guys are trying to get, then it is quite likely you are running after NT girls that you have no chance on anyway.

Can't say I really associate with anybody that rude. I've seen it before but of course this dynamic is just about people ignoring their actual interests and stepping on toes.

I think it's not exactly as black & white as rdos says with regards to NT/ND people but what I do know is that being patient & letting such nonsense work itself out is always good.

This happens the other way round as well.

Multiple Girls Competing For One Guy

*runs*

I can't find the article I am sure it was on new scientist.

Anyway there is a town in japan/china (pretty sure it's japan though) that has a high women to men ration so most men have 3 or more girlfriends. The reason for this is the factories only hire women, think it's because they pay them less and to stop distractions or something. The women also look after the men as it's hard for them to get jobs and turn a blind eye to the other girlfriends.

Wish I could track down the article explains the situation a lot better.

So stop complaining and move there

It happens.

The more men a woman attracts, the greater her chances of attracting a good man. The more attractive she is, the more men she will attract. The more effort she puts in to being attractive, the more attractive she will be. The trick is to make yourself more attractive than any of the competition.

Now, none of these are hard-and-fast rules that apply everywhere and in every situation, but they are the way to bet. Also, you can swap or mix the genders any way you like, and the results will still be the same - the most attractive people have the most dating options, and that's just how it is.

Yeah that's is the crux of it.

The only time that is swayed is when there is a in balance in the male/female ratio so uglier male/female have more chance with a more attractive male/female.

One thing to bear in mind though the attractiveness scale is based on yourself. You should always look at someone who is on your scale and depending on your area for your preferred gender above or below the area ratio. You will have more chance then. There are other factors but you see someone before getting to know them and you have subconsciously categorised them as yes/maybe or no.

Yeah, that happened before, but it didn't hurt me because I didn't even try in the first place.

Maybe it's best to give up if you don't expect to "win" against the competition and search somewhere else or do something more useful.
That sounds kinda demotivating, but seems like the best min-max time investment to me.

Not sure these guys even see it as competing against you for them, is there anything obvious that would indicate to them you're attempting to pursue a female they also are interested in? And relationships aren't about winning or losing, a significant other isn't a trophy.

I imagine you have to do something to show romantic interest in the girl for them to even be aware you're interested if you're just a friend/acquaintance who has never had the guts to express their attraction, then of course if another guy who comes along is interested that they like they'll give him a chance. But maybe you have been making efforts to get with the girls you like. It just seems this issue a lot of times occurs if a guy is passive about these things...so figured that might be part of the issue.

Yes but I also think there's more attractive women then there are attractive men.

And women are more picky then men are. A lot of men will take any decent looking woman who just talks to them. Woman tend to be more picky and selective.

Love isn't a competition. Girls aren't trophies to be acquired.

Sure, the hottest, smartest, funnest girls (and guys, for that matter) have the most dating options, but they comprise a teeny-tiny minority of humanity, leaving vast majority of the population plenty of folks to date.

You can't do anything about your height, but you can certainly get into shape, polish up the communication skills, etc. and put yourself out there to date. You don't need 10 girls wanting you, you just need to find the right one.

Uhm yeah they are.

Dating is a game, it's a competition. And some people are born with "powerups" which gives them advantages in the game.

Dating is like an online multiplayer free for all game. You're one guy trying to compete with others guys to impress a girl. You have to convince her as to why she would consider you to be a dating partner whether that's through looks or appearance.

Dating also obviously has rules to the game. Like no slapping a hot girls ass (even if you really want to) or don't hit on girls who have boyfriends around, that's a rule right there.


Women are like trophies because you get trophies by winning 1st place in a competition and since dating is a competition and the prize is a girlfriend or getting f****d, this means you've won if you manage to score with a girl or get a girlfriend.


So your argument is invalid. Women are clearly trophies to be won.

Everything in life is a competition. If you fight, you may lose; if you don't, you're guaranteed to lose.

If you fight a man twice your size, you're going to get f****d up most likely.

If you don't fight, you get to keep your face.

Most of the time, fighting isn't worth it. Lots of risk but very little reward.


It's all about risk vs reward. Fighting is a big risk especially if you're a small puny shrimp of a man like me with little reward unless it's in a life or death situation.

Talking to pretty girl is a risk but potentially a big reward. The risk is getting rejected, the reward is making love later that night or possibly getting a gf. Humans tend to make the risks a lot more of a big deal then they should be. That's why talking to a pretty girl is hard for lots of guys because of this fear of being rejected. I mean from a logical point of view, the risks are very minimal but the reward can be high yet so many men are still scared of girls. But anxiety often isn't logical isn't it?


So yeah you're right, if you never talk to a girl, your chances are 0%. That's why it's important you get out there and learn to overcome your anxiety with women. It's getting over that hump, loads of guys with anxiety are stuck but once they get over that hill (it can take years for some people) they will reap the benefits of being able to talk to girls.


If I ever have sons, I teach them early how to pick up girls. Don't make the same mistakes as I did, be scared of women during your teen years. You wanna get out there and drown in some p**** while you're young and not committed.

Last edited by darkphantomx1 on 04 Dec 2015, 2:37 pm, edited 3 times in total.

If I were a trophy, I'd be one of those cheap, nasty plastic ones that's broken before you get it.