Is finding someone attractive Objectification?

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AspieOtaku
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09 Dec 2015, 2:52 pm

Im confused, if I find someone attractive, I guess I have to keep it to myself or be ashamed because I could be objectifying that person. My biology cannot help it my instincts cannot help it, when I see good triats for a potential mate I must repress my thoughts or else its objectification.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2015, 2:58 pm

It's "objectification" in a very broad sense.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, no matter what "label" you put on it.

I "objectify" all the time, if that's how it's defined.

Woman tell guys they look good all the time. And vice versa. I get objectified. I'm not offended. And why should I be?

Now.....if I looked a woman up and down in the street....that would be a negative form of "objectification."



em_tsuj
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09 Dec 2015, 5:14 pm

Are you attracted to the person or do you want to borrow the person's body for a few minutes to do sexual stuff with? There's a difference.

If you find the person attractive, that's not objectification. If you are just looking at parts of the person's body (for example, a girl's ass or boobs) and fantasizing about having sex with the person, that's objectification.

Some people like being objectified.

Others find it offensive.

I don't know if it's morally wrong though.

I try not to do it because I get creeped out when people do it to me. It makes me feel less human.



mistersprinkles
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09 Dec 2015, 5:46 pm

Your post is a posterchild for the sick state of society in today's modern world. Of course it's not objectification. Objectification would be wanting a woman solely for her body without caring what is in her mind or her heart, having sex with her, then never talking to her again. I've had that done to me before. At the end of the day, should I care? I had fun, I didn't get an STD, she had fun, she didn't get an STD. We are adults, and we both chose that we wanted to do something together with our bodies and that's the end of it. Who cares?

I digress.

The simple feeling of finding a woman attractive is not objectification. There is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with talking about it. There is nothing wrong with telling the person you are attracted to that they are attractive. They will likely take it as a compliment, and if they don't, they're just another example of the cancer of political correctness that has infected society in the early part of the 21st century.

I have gone out on dates with many members of the opposite sex and I initiated the conversation with "Wow, you're really gorgeous" or something along those lines. I have also been told by random women that I was attractive. There's nothing wrong with it. Society has gotten by this way for millions of years dude.



Uprising
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09 Dec 2015, 7:04 pm

It's only objectification if the attraction is very very very far from mutual.



kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2015, 7:38 pm

And what's wrong with liking a woman's butt, boobs, etc?

I don't see anything wrong with that--as long as the guy doesn't mind it if a woman likes his "parts," too.

It's all part of normal sexuality.

It's negative objectification if the expression of this desire is used for a negative purpose (e.g., rape, mocking, harassment, etc).

If a woman told me she liked any part of me, I'd be glad.



Sweetleaf
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09 Dec 2015, 7:56 pm

I thought it was more if you only see them as something to have sex with, or something pretty to look at...then that is objectification. Simply finding someone attractive isn't objectifying them.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2015, 8:18 pm

I don't see anything wrong with somebody telling me that I'm handsome.

I wouldn't even mind it if the person telling me I'm handsome told me she wanted to have sex with me.

Maybe it's "objectification"--but I don't see it as a negative thing.

It could become negative if this sort of thing is used for negative purposes.



izzeme
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10 Dec 2015, 3:23 am

Objectification is "boy, that's a nice pair of boobs, and it seems that there is a woman attached as well".
"boy, that woman has a nice pair" is simple appriciation, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Be careful with reading too much feminist (feminazy) propaganda...



AspieOtaku
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10 Dec 2015, 3:48 am

Well? I find a females physical traits like beautiful eyes, hair and other things physically appeasing as a means in hopes of passing on physically appeasing traits to offspring I am also attracted to personality! Yes I also like the bootie and boobs too but thats not the point, I don't simply want a woman just to mate with but want someone with a compatable personality type to get along with and someone to share life long interests with. Is this wrong? I don't know I am confused I just don't want to be an objectifyer, my natural instincts kick in and I cannot help it! However if she does not meet those physical traits but has a kickass personality I cannot help but be attracted to that, nothing turns me more on or want me more interested in personality! Should I be ashamed of any of this? I am confused and dont want to be thought of as chauvanist piggish male or an objectifyer, I am just being honest and have natural instincts to seek an attractive compatible mate to mate with, its nature. I was biologically programmed to look for an attractive compatible mate, is this wrong? If it is take it up with mother nature, aka Gaia!


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10 Dec 2015, 4:31 am

mistersprinkles wrote:
Your post is a posterchild for the sick state of society in today's modern world. Of course it's not objectification. Objectification would be wanting a woman solely for her body without caring what is in her mind or her heart, having sex with her, then never talking to her again. I've had that done to me before. At the end of the day, should I care? I had fun, I didn't get an STD, she had fun, she didn't get an STD. We are adults, and we both chose that we wanted to do something together with our bodies and that's the end of it. Who cares?

I digress.

The simple feeling of finding a woman attractive is not objectification. There is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with talking about it. There is nothing wrong with telling the person you are attracted to that they are attractive. They will likely take it as a compliment, and if they don't, they're just another example of the cancer of political correctness that has infected society in the early part of the 21st century.

I have gone out on dates with many members of the opposite sex and I initiated the conversation with "Wow, you're really gorgeous" or something along those lines. I have also been told by random women that I was attractive. There's nothing wrong with it. Society has gotten by this way for millions of years dude.




Finding someone attractive and wanting to shag them is NOT a crime nor is it immoral/unethical!
What is objectification is when you act out those desires without the consent of the object of your desire. Rape is the most extreme example, but there are other more subtle forms of sexual coercion(like a person in a position of authority trying to exchange sexual favors).

Sometimes women want a man for his body and nothing more, and men do the same thing. That's what they call a *hook-up*. Not all women buy into this societal ideal of the unification of love and sex. They too understand how different these things are.

Having the urge to bang someone you don't know simply by seeing them at a distance is called "objectification" by radical feminists because of their own insecurities about their appearance and resentment that some women are getting more attention from men than they are.



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10 Dec 2015, 4:34 am

Once again Kraft has the correct answers

I've reacted negatively to positive comments about my appearance before and I just feel like a bastard about it now.



CommanderKeen
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10 Dec 2015, 5:12 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Im confused, if I find someone attractive, I guess I have to keep it to myself or be ashamed because I could be objectifying that person. My biology cannot help it my instincts cannot help it, when I see good triats for a potential mate I must repress my thoughts or else its objectification.

You're spending too much time on this forum.



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10 Dec 2015, 5:20 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Well? I find a females physical traits like beautiful eyes, hair and other things physically appeasing as a means in hopes of passing on physically appeasing traits to offspring I am also attracted to personality! Yes I also like the bootie and boobs too but thats not the point, I don't simply want a woman just to mate with but want someone with a compatable personality type to get along with and someone to share life long interests with. Is this wrong? I don't know I am confused I just don't want to be an objectifyer, my natural instincts kick in and I cannot help it! However if she does not meet those physical traits but has a kickass personality I cannot help but be attracted to that, nothing turns me more on or want me more interested in personality! Should I be ashamed of any of this? I am confused and dont want to be thought of as chauvanist piggish male or an objectifyer, I am just being honest and have natural instincts to seek an attractive compatible mate to mate with, its nature. I was biologically programmed to look for an attractive compatible mate, is this wrong? If it is take it up with mother nature, aka Gaia!

I'm just going to come flat out and ask you. How come you always make posts like this? I'm not getting on you for them, but I've noticed you make posts a lot about being ashamed of yourself. I can only assume, that you are influenced by certain members of this forum and that you are of course influenced by people offline. I see that you live in California and that may explain part of it, considering California is so PC and littered with "feminists".



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10 Dec 2015, 8:51 am

No, what you want and what you feel isn't objectification.

How you act on those emotions and instincts is what will make the difference between how others perceive you, for good or bad.

It is always one's actions, not being, that society cares about.

If I were to label someone chauvinist, it would be more about their attitude, beliefs, behaviors, around women. For instance, liking a woman's boobs doesn't give you a right to grab them on your whim, nor should liking someone be enough for you to feel like they should consider liking you back.

Someone has obviously labelled you as a chauvinist pig and you don't understand why. I have no idea what the situation is, but it's not that you like women where the problem lies. Actions aren't one's being. Your being is NEVER 'wrong'.


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cberg
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10 Dec 2015, 11:50 am

Uprising wrote:
It's only objectification if the attraction is very very very far from mutual.


Or if you're actually hitting on a statue. :roll: People are so easy to objectify until they blink.

I think objectification should be reserved for one's enemies though - better to view them as static anyway.


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