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9 Guidelines For Dating With Asperger's

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The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Mar 2016, 9:51 am

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I think this view is wrong and illustrates a fundamental misunderstanding of autism.


Nope, it isn't, thinking otherwise is a fundamental misunderstanding of the psychiatric diagnosis process.

In cancer for example, you may have cancer because doctors can see the tumor even if you are not showing any symptoms.

But for Autism, this isn't possible, so far. If you have zero symptoms, then you can't be diagnosed with Autism.


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Does that ever actually happen? My psychiatrist said I wasn't autistic when he first met me. After a number of sessions, he said I was suffering a bout of "residual" autism. Like I had slipped back because I was too distraught to mask.


And you may no longer be diagnosed with it, this was an old theory:

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Residual Autism

Definition

A concept introduced by, and limited to, the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-III) in 1980 to encompass individuals who once met criteria for infantile autism but no longer did so. The inclusion of this term reflected the lack of developmental orientation in the first official definition of infantile autism in DSM-III and was meant to address the issue of developmental change. This term quickly proved unsatisfactory in many ways since the problems of most individuals with autism (or what now is termed autistic disorder) were often quite significant even if different than those they first exhibited as young children. In the following (1987) edition of DSM the definition of autism was considerably changed to reflect a broader developmental orientation.



androbot01
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09 Mar 2016, 9:58 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
I think this view is wrong and illustrates a fundamental misunderstanding of autism.


Nope, it isn't, thinking otherwise is a fundamental misunderstanding of the psychiatric diagnosis process.

I understand the psychiatric diagnosis process, I just don't agree that it's an accurate tool..

Quote:
Residual Autism

Definition

A concept introduced by, and limited to, the third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-III) in 1980 to encompass individuals who once met criteria for infantile autism but no longer did so.

That would be about the time when my psychiatrist was in school. He's retiring, thank God.

Boo, you keep referring to the medical world ... I know what they think. What do you think? Are you just going with what they say because they are an authority?



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Mar 2016, 10:07 am

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I understand the psychiatric diagnosis process, I just don't agree that it's an accurate tool.


But it is currently the only tool for diagnosing Autism/AS - Autism/AS is a part of the psychiatric field, not the medical field.

Quote:
Boo, you keep referring to the medical world ... I know what they think. What do you think? Are you just going with what they say because they are an authority?


Who else to refer to? My own faith? I am atheist.



androbot01
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09 Mar 2016, 10:12 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Who else to refer to? My own faith? I am atheist.

To your experience as an autistic person.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Mar 2016, 3:28 am

^
Only if one day Autism gets a known molecular etiology (biological definition) like Rett Syndrome and Down Syndrome Ie. mutation of gene ABC on Chromosome X...etc, deletion of something in chromosome 3..etc

What if one day Autism gets a such biological definition and you turn out you don't have it after they check your DNA? You would still believe you're autistic just because of your life experience? Personally, I wouldn't - I would accept that I was simply extremely introvert.



Sabreclaw
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10 Mar 2016, 6:22 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^
Only if one day Autism gets a known molecular etiology (biological definition) like Rett Syndrome and Down Syndrome Ie. mutation of gene ABC on Chromosome X...etc, deletion of something in chromosome 3..etc

What if one day Autism gets a such biological definition and you turn out you don't have it after they check your DNA? You would still believe you're autistic just because of your life experience? Personally, I wouldn't - I would accept that I was simply extremely introvert.


Life experience is worthless. A biological test would indeed be the final word.



androbot01
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10 Mar 2016, 7:04 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What if one day Autism gets a such biological definition and you turn out you don't have it after they check your DNA? You would still believe you're autistic just because of your life experience? Personally, I wouldn't - I would accept that I was simply extremely introvert.

If an accurate test existed, I would accept it's results. In the meantime, I've been diagnosed by a psychiatrist specializing in autism and have had "residual" autism confirmed by my latest psychiatrist, who admittedly has no expertise in autism. Also I have noticed profound improvements in my ability to function because of medications. But when I don't take them, I go right back to where I was.

Perhaps you have less confidence in your own diagnosis because you are not as severely autistic as I am?



martintupper
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06 May 2016, 11:56 pm

Thanks for sharing this wonderful article ..



strgun
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15 May 2016, 5:00 pm

I'm not a lesbian. I just don't date and I'm not happy about it. I would like to meet friends that are loners like I am. I'm not so sure if I have aspies, but I do wonder why I don't date at the age of 44.



Fnord
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15 May 2016, 5:05 pm

androbot01 wrote:
Are you kidding me?! Gwen Kansen is not autistic?! In that case it I find the remark about "rethinking existence" to be really offensive. I have a few more things I could say, but I don't want to get banned.
Then I will say it, as well. If you’re calling yourself something like "aspie89" in an online forum, then you need to rethink your existence. Letting autism define your identity will not likely impress many people.

The truth is always the truth, no matter who says it.


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OceanLightHouse
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29 May 2016, 8:08 pm

This was very informative, and much needed. I like what you said about a Guy or Lady liking you for wit, brain and candor. However if I may ask an honest question, what if you have all that until you are around someone you like? How do you keep your brains when your hormones are kicking in at an embarrassing height, and making selective mutism worse? It is hard to even make friends with guys I am remotely intersted in because of issues as such. I have piped down on trying as a result because I am Not sure how to work through these stressful ad embarrasing issues. I dont feel I can use my brains right around most people I think pose a chance of suitability. Could use some tips, advice, and any relateable expiririences.



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29 May 2016, 9:01 pm

Neither my NT wife or I were lolling for a relationship when we met.
We connected on many levels.
16 years after we met I was diagnosed. I asked her recently if she would have married me if she knew I was autistic.
She quickly said yes.
8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:


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Nads
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09 Jun 2016, 5:34 pm

Hey guys we just launched a new dating app that's like nothing else out there. It lets you read reviews of past dates to keep the weirdos away and specify exactly what kind of date you are looking for (how much you want to spend/be spent on you, what type of experience you're looking for, and lots more. We weed out losers, spammers, and all the other nuisances you come to expect on most dating apps. The result is a high quality match that's right for you.
Would love to get some feedback from everyone! https//itunes[dot]apple[dot]com/gb/app/tmo-dating/id1032349052?mt=8



Galymcd
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17 Jun 2016, 1:36 am

androbot01 wrote:
Quote:
I'd be surprised if you have been relying on looks alone considering that you have a stable relationship and can write.

But I am still a little frustrated by the white male dominance on the home page. I know the WP demographic is mostly male, but it would be nice if autistic women's issues could be addressed at some point. And frankly, that an article on dating advice is the most you can do to represent women is a little sad. Is it impossible for autistic men to think of women in any other way? And I do realize the author is female, but the topic is disappointing.

"white male dominance" Who's to say most users here are white, or that sexism is a white male invention? That's racist AND sexist. Also, yes, men have Autism far more than women do. Thats biology, so expect to see less articles on it. That's how it is, sorry.



JohnStarlight
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22 Jun 2016, 4:17 am

thank you for these tips!they really helped me in my life.God bless you


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kadar
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18 Jul 2016, 11:13 am

:lol: :nerdy: Wow, well I am now seeing the benefits of different classifications cause I thought my boyfriend was purposely annoying me, I felt horrible , then, the answer came straight to me cause I really like him and I ve been paying attention to everything and now that autism is more spoken about I realized from a commercial that he was showing the same symptoms like the light sensitivity which by the way is only with artificial lights like bright lamps, anyway I was moved to look deeper, he is a funny caring guy (im his "nerotypical" girlfriend) I am not sure if he is aware of this condition as from my little research it was medically formed in the 90s and he is a 60s baby, I didn't know how to discuss it without offending him cause my intial reactions to his behavior was defensive and I called his speech pattern passive aggressive cause I had no clue, so I found this site, I signed him up knowing he is going to check his email and visit and I pray he sees there are alot of "different" people and much support. I am kinda different myself although neurologicaly I could be classified as typical, I know I am way more than that as all of us human beings are way more than our classifications...im just really happy to have found this site and I hope my boyfriend appriciates this gesture. I appreciate you sharing and opening my eyes.