Is this manipulation?

Post Reply New Topic

I've been texting this guy in an effort to get to know him. I can see he looks at my messages but he doesn't write back. I see that he was just on. But he still hasn't written back. He finally does and it's nothing that I can really build a conversation off of cause it's a one word answer. Or I ask him something and he dismisses it. So then I stopped trying. And then he asks me if I want to talk on skype tonight..."unless I'm boring you". So, am I being paranoid here or is he trying to guilt-trip me in some way? He skyped me and since I didn't answer he's just like, "Neverfuckingmind". Am I supposed to feel guilty to that too? I didn't even say anything about him not answering me. There's literally no reason for him to be talking to me like this, that I can tell. I kind of don't want to talk to him at all anymore cause it's becoming more and more obvious to me that anyone who doesn't jerk off his ego hard enough becomes an enemy? Do I really care? I think he's had like, 5 girlfriends in the last 3-4 years. Is there a goddamned common denominator here? I have a hard time telling if I'm really being rude or if a person is manipulating me into being their court jester or something by pulling on my guilt-strings... I don't know. Any input is appreciated.

I had an online friend who did those things to me. He would tell me how boring he is and how I think he is boring when I never even said he was. He would also get upset if I didn't talk enough and he would always log off. I am sure these were his manipulation tactics because I found out how manipulative he was just by reading our chat history and he claimed I told him things so I looked and I saw I never said them so I am sure the other things he said were just tactics and they didn't work with me. And because they didn't work with me, he finally got aggressive with his words so I blocked him since he told me he was taking me off his friends list and he wouldn't so I did it for him. I also blocked him on Facebook because it was pretty obvious he just wanted to argue and insult me, throwing a tantrum I call it. All because I didn't want to be his online mommy after he had kept pressuring me to be and I gave in and then finally decided to stand up for myself and say no. He also had two online mommies who also just disappeared because they never came back online. I am sure him saying the other one came back was just one of his lies to manipulate me and that also didn't work because I had blocked him. But he sure acted like a narcissist.

You can try to over-analyze and reverse-engineer words/timing to weigh intentions vs. imbalance, but chances are that you would be better off surrounding yourself with people that don't force you to think like that or on that level of insecurity. Manipulation or Unintentional, he doesn't seem like a good person to build a relationship with if you're sensitive to things like this.

You'll often find that the best relationships are sparked by shared/mutually accepted flaws and insecurities. Just don't let your own insecurities and desire for solidarity force you into a bad situation.

You got it! Also!

Realize that very few people are 'as advertised' in any capacity online. When you start measuring people by their actions and comparing them to their own words, it's pretty easy to see who is real and who isn't. This deviation from reality is why online relationships are fleeting in most cases.

Yeah...I'm also over people I barely know trying to win me over by telling me how "awesome" I am.

It's hard to say whether or not he's being manipulative. Either way, his behavior is riddled with redflags and it's probably best to stay away from him. On the bright side, I bet you could find plenty of cool guys that would love the trade messages with you on WP.

It may or may not be conscious manipulation, but the effect is much the same either way. Fingers crossed, in time he'll become aware of his behaviour and it'll stop. In the meantime, I'll add my voice to the others saying to just walk away.

I don't think it's manipulation. I've done that to people when I was distracted. I was quick to assume I was boring people cuz I thought I was boring & I have been called boring by people in the past.

It sounds like he is in the wrong. I don't see how you did anything wrong to deserve his anger.