When you have a Boyfriend

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When you get a boyfriend, how much information do you have to tell him about your past? That what I read, you need to tell him about your past.

You don't have to tell him everything upfront or all at once, just don't intentionally hide things from him. If there are some big things that you're nervous about telling a future partner, you can wait a little while until you feel more comfortable, just don't wait too long, especially if it's something that could be a deal breaker for him. So for example if you didn't want kids, and he did, this would be something he should be aware of.

Thanks! I like kids, but I can't handle them too much, my mom knew before I did that I shouldn't have kids plus there the money. And I don't know if I want to get married. How can you tell him without scaring him off? I know I have to tell him about my scar, it still very emotional for me to talk about it & it happen when I was 15.

Just tell your boyfriend what you feel like you want to tell him.

He's not the police. You're not being investigated by your boyfriend.

**Woops, I meant to write, "you don't intentionally hide big (aka important) things from him." So don't feel like you have to tell him about that time in high school when you slipped in the hallway and fell on your butt (<-- not that I know anyone that's ever done that before....I certainly haven't ).

I think it's best to figure out his requirements when you're getting to know each other. So you don't need to flat out ask if he's okay not having kids or getting married (since that's going too fast in a budding relationship), just speak in general terms. You can make a passing comment about how kids are fun but you're glad to go home to a kid-free house. Or you can ask what he would like to get out of life in the next decade.

I know to tell him about my age (he will be surprised, he may not believe me, why would I lie about being 45?) and to tell him I have CP, Aspergers & Psoriasis & I have to tell him about my scar before he sees it.

I love the sound of that

When I started dating my girlfriend, she told me pretty much everything within three months or so, possibly only two. When I was first spoke to her, she didn't tell me all that much up front but she did talk to me about her past, which I won't go into detail. I didn't need to know this information, but it certainly helped in understanding her many dispositions and quirks; social anxiety, suspected (primarily on my part) schizophrenia, depression, etc.

You don't have to tell a guy everything, nor really anything (I'm pretty sure there are a lot of guys who enjoy a mystery or an enigma), but I'd recommend saying all you can just to help you through and let him understand. Everything you're comfortable with, of course. Don't concern yourself with anything that you think could breach your personal life too significantly, unless you think it's entirely necessary to mention it.