[Poll] Background & Credit Checks in Relationships.

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Employers perform checks on the backgrounds and credit histories on applicants as part of their normal screening processes. The reasoning is that past behavior may predict future behavior - a bank screening against convicted embezzlers, for example, would lessen the chance of an employee walking out with a bag full of hard-to-trace cash.

These services are also available to anybody who pays the requisite fees. One example might be a man who has been defrauded by his ex-wife when she misrepresented her "undying" love for him and then divorced him after cleaning out his bank accounts. Another might be a single woman who is concerned for the safety of her children, and wants to know if her latest love-interest was ever arrested for domestic abuse or child molestation.

Have you ever used these services? Would you use these services to protect yourself and your family? Have you ever "stalked" a love-interest on-line to see what kind of person he or she really was?

Please respond to the attached poll, and post your comments below.

Note: ALL members of WrongPlanet are invited to participate. No attack posts, please.

Thank you.

Yes; but only if I felt suspicious about his or her behavior.

My wife and I were both working for the government when we started dating, so I made the assumption that she had already been "screened".

There is such a thing as knowing too much information about someone. Since everybody seems to have at least one "indiscretion" in their pasts, learning everything possible might turn you off permanently to romance.

It would be a requirement to have background and credit checks done, along with STD testing. I would agree to do the same, as I have nothing to hide.

Unfortunately, in this world there are many reasons not to trust people or take them at their word. It's just a matter of common sense. When I was younger, I probably would have answered differently. But I'm no longer so naive.

Of course I'd prefer not to have to do this at all. I don't like the idea, but I feel it's necessary.

Edit: I'd only want to do this if the relationship were getting serious, not with every person I dated.

Background checks are indeed a "Necessary Evil", in my opinion.

If everybody was worthy of trust, then there would be no need to "Trust; but Verify".

If I felt the need to do any of those things in secret, however, I feel the relationship wouldn't even be worth pursuing. It would be a very upfront, matter-of-fact type of thing. We'd both discuss it openly, agree to it, and get it done.

I would not go looking on the internet in secret to see what my potential partner was up to. If I wanted to see what he was doing online, I'd tell him, and then research it openly. Then I'd have to agree that the same could be done of me.

I wouldn't want to begin a relationship by sneaking around behind the person's back.

Probably not. I have bad credit, doesn't make me a bad person. Credit checks shouldn't be used for relationships or work. You only see they have bad credit you don't see why and there's tons of reasons

Bad credit might indicate poor financial judgment (i.e., spending sprees, pyramid schemes, et cetera), health issues (i.e., therapy, expensive medications, et cetera), legal issues (i.e., bankruptcy, lawsuits, a messy divorce, et cetera), and hidden addictions (i.e., cosmetic surgery, drugs, gambling, et cetera).

I'm not saying that these are valid reasons to break up with someone; but if you're not prepared to take on their expenses, then knowing what is going on might be helpful in deciding whether or not to wait until they've straightened themselves out.

And if the other person tries to pass off his or her drug addiction and arrest record as "nothing important", then it may be time to unfriend them completely.

Or why you don't give an 18 year old who's never had money 10,000 dollar credit. Mean at 17 they can't be trusted but a day later they can? Credit card companies went bankrupt for giving out too much credit to people they shouldn't have and they got their debt wiped clean so the people should too.

Everyone makes mistakes, they shouldn't be forever alone because of something that happen 10+ years ago when they were basically still a kid.

I had my first credit card at 17. The highest balance I carried was about $150 for emergency towing. After that, I kept the balance between $30 and $50 until my wife (now my ex-wife) got ahold of it.Everyone makes mistakes; but no one else should be obligated to pay for those mistakes just because they marry a deadbeat.

Concealing a debt that a future spouse will have to carry is dishonest, and will eventually ruin an otherwise good marriage.

Why will they have to carry it?

If I was going to marry them, you betcha!

Ask the lawmakers, the banks, and the bill collectors who came after me for my ex-wife's debts. It would seem that when you marry a person, you become part-owner of their debts as well, and the banks and bill collectors will come after you if your spouse (or ex-spouse) can't or won't pay up.

Debt is like a sexually-transmitted disease - you can acquire it from the person you marry.

Unfortunately, bad credit can affect the other spouse. When getting a mortgage, or buying a car together, bad credit can get in the way. And I'm not sure how the law works, but creditors do tend to go after anyone they can to get their money, legal or not.

Plus a person with bad credit may have absolutely no common sense or self-control when it comes to spending. In that case, the other spouse may have to be constantly on guard to make sure all the money isn't getting "flushed down the toilet" with unnecessary or wasteful expenses.

I would find having to constantly watch my spouse's spending habits to be mentally exhausting, stressful and infuriating. Not worth it.

When I was the compliance officer for a local financial institution, I learned that an individual's credit check can't be performed without the individual's permission (though, those free-credit-card-in-the-mail businesses do it anyway usually with the permission of a credit card which the individual already uses). Potential employers get an applicant's permission when the applicant signs the job application (read the small print). But, yes, reporting by businesses which use public-domain information abound. I would use such a business if I suspected anything about anyone in my life. But, I would also understand that public-domain information is frequently unreliable; caveat emptor.

Well I didn't have parents to get me a card and teach how to use it. I got a bunch at 18 because I thought having cards was fun. Then first company screwed me they neglected to send me my statement then when I didn't pay chart huge fees that took it from 1000 to 3000. Then same thing happen with other card so I assumed they'd do the same and so spent bunch as I'd rather owe bunch of money and have stuff then just owe a bunch. But they didn't. I'm way more responseable now.

I never said I'd conceal it. I'm well aware I'll never get married and as soon as they find out it'll be over, so probably 1-3 dates top before they ask and break up. Money is al so important to most women it's all that matters, yet many women have huge debt and expect guys to just pay it off if marry. Hypocrites.

I'm going end up doing bankruptcy as I can't pay off the 15,000 and climbing with min wage and ssi. Started at 5,000 but hey if the guy can't pay 5,000 lets triple it and then Surely he'll be able to pay
They tried to get me to fraud the government so I could partly pay them.

Why should I have to pay for someone else's mistakes, maybe it won't me finically maybe it's emotionally or physically, there's all kinds of lasting non debt mistakes people have.

Relationships use to be about love and dealing with someone's past mistakes because you love them and they love you. Now relationships are the same as employment, so cold and rational.