How To Tell If A Shy Guy Likes You - By A Shy Guy

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It's not always easy to tell if a shy guy likes you. Often, shyness and uninterest are mixed up and a shy guy often comes off as uninterested when in fact he really likes this one girl. The best way to talk to a shy guy is to be the one who initiates the conversation and be the one who shows interest in him because shy guys have difficulty starting conversations with women they like. If you're the one who starts the conversation, then you may find that he isn't so shy once a conversation is started. It is every shy guys dream for the girl he likes to start a conversation with him even if he never admits to it.

Here are some tips to tell if a shy guy likes you. Most of these come from personal experience and i'm sure other shy guys can relate.



1. He has trouble looking at you in the eyes. He has no problem looking at others but can't look at you. A good test is to catch him looking at you and if he immediately looks away then he probably likes you but he's shy. He's trying to steal glances at you because he likes you. What you should do is smile at him if you catch him looking at you as this will give him hope.

2. He acts more friendly and socialable around people but closes off when you're around. This probably means he is really nervous around you and is more careful what he says and does. Watch his body language as well as he is trying to hide that he really likes you. The good news is that the more you're around him, the more he will open up and he will become less and less shy.

3. When a guy likes you he will try to impress you. But for shy guys, he tries doing this indirectly. For instance if you two are in the same class, watch when he says something funny or something interesting about himself and then he looks at you. He's trying to see how you reacted. He does this because he's trying to get you to like him indirectly because he's too scared of actually talking to you. I think the goal of this is to get a girl to like him so either he knows she likes him then he can make a move or she will initiate the conversation which is every shy guys dream. Shy guys can be surprisingly not so shy when you get them to talk.

4. When a guy likes a girl, he wants to be around her. He's always glad when the girl he likes shows up and is disappointed when the girl doesn't. For instance, class, youth group, work etc... This is pretty much a universal trait to see if someone likes you because if someone isn't interested in you, they don't really care if you show up or not.


5. Pay attention to the way he talks to you. Everybody gets nervous when chatting with the person they like, but for shy guys, it’s even worse; usually, they will give you either short, quiet, possibly even snappy answers or they’ll speak very quickly and ramble on out of sheer panic. Again, note whether or not his speaking is extra awkward around you compared to around other people. He may give you short "yes" or "no" answers and refuse to elaborate. It's not that he's not interested in the conversation; it's that he's too interested in the conversation and doesn't want to say anything that might reveal his affection for you.



Like I said above, the best thing to do with a shy guy is to be the one who initiates the conversations. Communicate openness by smiling, taking off your headphones, talking to people around you, smiling at strangers, and laughing when you feel like it. This subconsciously tells him — It's okay, I don't bite. If you're stooped over your laptop in a corner, with your headphones on, and ignore other people, he's going to be petrified about approaching you. Avoid "closed off" body language at all costs.

If all else fails, ask him out yourself. You can send him as many notes in class as you want, or lick your lips so often that it tastes like you're eating lip gloss. But sometimes a guy is just so shy or plain oblivious that the only thing to do is ask him out. Don't worry — it's not the end of the world, and plenty of beautiful, smart, and eligible women have done it. If you like him, it doesn't really matter who asks out whom, as long as you can share the sunlight together at the end of the day.

This makes me sad because a guy I spoke to a few months back did all these things when I talked to him. I'm kicking myself now because I mistook those signs as him not being interested in me. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Yes its hard to tell the diffirence between being shy and uninterested. I am shy girl and I don't I don't show any direct signs that I am into a guy especially if I am not sure that he likes me back.

I have a crush on my co worker and whenever I see him I freeze up and cant say anything other than hi. He seems like a shy guy as well and he exhibits the behaviours you listed such as avoiding eye contact ,ignore me when there are other etc.

However, sometimes I wonder if he just flat out not interested. Its hard to tell really unless if I were to ask him out. Despite all this I still get I like you vibe. Not sure if its just wishing thinking on my part. I am going to try to talk to him more when I work with him next time. We don't work together everyday since we work in different floors.

It sucks because the ones that I don't like are the ones that are always bold and express their interest. The ones that I like don't make a move like this guy.

The next time I work with him I am going to try do dig some information to see if he is single. Then if he is I am going to ask him if I can text him sometime to see his reaction. If he brushed if off that means he isn't interested right?I need to know where I stand with him

I think the reason why guys are shy and reserved is because they're scared of how the women will react. Maybe the shy guy had some bad experiences when he tried talking to women in the past like he got rejected or was accused of being a stalker or too needy and as a result, he closed himself off because he is afraid of making himself vulnerable again and getting rejected. The shy guys greatest fear with women is vulnerability, so therefore he closes himself off to girls. He believes that he will just mess everything up if he tries talking to the girl he likes and that she will reject him because he was rejected in the past. Unfortunately the girls who do actually like him will either think he's uninterested or will quickly move on because he's too shy to approach her.

I believe the above is/was true for me--especially when I was a young lad.

Those are some good points. The only exception to them I would say is that some people that do that also are just flirting and not seriously interested in you, so its worthwhile to interact with them more to be certain.

Do you think if I express a little vulnerability to a shy guy, he'll be more likely to let down his guard?

This is what I would do in those situations:

1. I would not notice. I do not really make eye contact. If I noticed someone looking at myself like that, I would ask him why he is doing that. I think I would not notice it, though.

2. I do not really pay attention to body language.

3. I would not notice anything. I just pay attention to my own things. Unless something caught my attention, I would not pay attention. I also dislike indirect things.

4. I would not be aware of it, unless told so. So, wether he cared or not, I would remain unaffected.

5. I would not notice, because I am not a mind reader.

It really all depends on how shy he is. Some guys (such as myself) are only shy when we don't know you. Like me for instance, it's really hard for me to talk to a girl I don't know but once a conversation starts somehow and I get to know you better, I am not so shy. Most people aren't so shy around people they feel comfortable with. It's just getting that conversation to start is the hardest part. However i'm still not going to show any signs of interest to the girl unless I know she likes me back probably out of fear of being vulnerable. In this case, you should give him signs that you are interested and maybe he will make a move on you. Alternatively you can ask for his phone number and if he does like you, then he will continue to text you then eventually you should tell him you like him.

Then theres the really really shy guy who can't even hold a conversation with women at all without freezing up. Even if you were friendly to him and gave him signs you liked him, he would have very bad social anxiety and woudn't know what to do. If you're willing, then you have to be more patient with a guy like this and over time his shyness will go away.

I don't think this can be explained with fear. More likely this is just how some guys are, and they are not made for the typical courtship behavior and with being verbal with somebody they like but don't know. I'm unable to both approach and talk to girls I'm interested in, but I'm not unable to flirt with them and show my interest with eye-contact. Once I get more comfortable, this will change, but for a start I work just like the description of the shy guy. I might add that I think these things are not even possible to change because these are innate blocks that probably once had a function. While things might proceed faster if the girl takes initiative, I'm not sure this is the best. Why such a hurry? Why surrender to cultural norms decided by NTs that dating must be a fast thing?

I'm a girl, but I can relate to this. When I like someone, I feel more awkward when they're around, and try to avoid looking at them too much so as not to be seen as staring. Also, I won't start conversations with them; I'll wait until they talk to me. I do all this to appear normal and to not appear as if I like them. I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship when I crush on somebody, so it works out fine.

Some guys are surprisingly not so shy when you get them to break out of their shell. Like I am usually shy around people I don't know but once I get to know them, I can actually be pretty extroverted. To all shy guys out there reading this, if a girl talks to you, don't give 1 worded responses or look really uncomfortable as this will just scare her off. Take advantage of the fact you're talking to a girl who you find attractive. You won't get this many opportunities if you're a shy guy. Also ask for her number if you feel like you two really connect.


One more thing is that I think being a shy guy with aspergers is difficult because since you have such crappy social skills, women will just think you're uninterested in them and quickly leave the conversation. Develop your social skills first by talking to other people. This is something I have to work on since I am not a big talker.

Yes, a smile works fine, but a small wink works too if she is also kind of shy. Or just some other types of stims. I know this affects me to such a huge degree that it's almost insane. You are probably right that it gives hope and kind of shows there is mutual interest.

I'm really confused about this guy. On the one hand, there are NT women who've tried having conversations with him and say he's a cold a**hole, but I didn't think he was a cold person. Or maybe as an Aspie I'm just misreading him. I just thought he was uninterested in me when we talked because of the lack of eye contact and short curt answers. But then when he did make eye contact with me, he smiled at me warmly. Is this what shy guys do? Because I feel like people can easily confuse that for rudeness and detachment.

There is no real way of telling how much someone likes you. I just try my best to get my point across. Sometimes there are ways of getting someone's attention and sometimes you just have to be compatible.

Just ask him out already. Ask if he would like to go get coffee or something. Whatever 30 year olds do.