Why did this girl suddenly stop texting back?

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Lifeistoohard
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14 Feb 2016, 10:32 am

I have class with her Tues/Thurs. I met her almost 3 weeks ago, got the number the next class session. Since that time we've enjoyed fun conversations, many of which were started by her such as asking me whether I watch Hulu, etc. And I would follow back by asking her similar questions about TV shows. There's been no flirting/teasing yet, mostly because I'm a little shy.

Everything went well until Thursday (Feb 11), especially after she went to work.

The day started good. She remembered some of my texts where I told her my hometown 2 weeks ago. She asked me "Why'd you come here?" and then "What do you want to do after graduating?". And so on. I also asked her stuff about her job and aspirations and her replies were very friendly and playful.

The mistake I made was after I asked her if she wanted to study together Saturday and she said "I have coaching that day. Next Saturday". I said "alright". But then regretted saying that because I didn't know that I leave home on that day. It slipped through my mind.

I sent her a text an hour later saying, "I leave next Saturday back home so we can't review that day. How about next Friday?"

She hasn't gotten back to me. I'm worried if what I did Thursday made her lose interest.

Tl:dr: Girl I like has been very sweet but all of a sudden she's not replying for no clear reason.



Jacoby
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14 Feb 2016, 10:35 am

Give it a bit more time, maybe she's busy I dunno



Lifeistoohard
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14 Feb 2016, 11:28 am

Jacoby wrote:
Give it a bit more time, maybe she's busy I dunno


I honestly hope that's the case. I remember our first texting convo: Girl's name: T My name: D

Me: "Hi T! This is D from microecon class. How's your week been?"
--2 hours later--
Her: "Hey D! How are you? My week has been busy but pretty great :) how about your week?"
--6 hours later--
Me: That's good! Mine was also busy and rewarding, as usual. I just drove home from Houston which is why I didn't reply. Did you start on the homework?"
--2 DAYS later--
Her: "Oh really? Where's your family from? I looked over homework 2 but I was going to read the chapter first and then do it! How about you?"

Her texting pattern is strange because on Wednesday I texted her about her job teaching music and she replied only 5 minutes later with an ESSAY describing what's the best part and whatnot.



Jacoby
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14 Feb 2016, 11:35 am

She did say she was busy on Saturday so hopefully its just that

A lot of times I just don't see texts and miss calls when I'm at school since I turn the sound off, sometimes I forget to turn it back on too.

Sometimes people lose their phones/chargers

still could be something else hopefully



yellowtamarin
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15 Feb 2016, 3:39 am

No idea, just wait.

But IMO it can be a bit rude/pushy when someone gives you a day when they are available and you try to change it to a day that is earlier. By saying "Saturday" she is essentially saying she's not free to meet you before then, or doesn't want to.



886
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15 Feb 2016, 5:18 am

people just do that dude. that's how our generation communicates and dates, that's how we meet people. there's no why, how, or logical explanation, it could be anything. maybe you did something, most likely you didn't. maybe she lost interest, maybe she found someone better. the unfortunate fact of dating with millennials is when we stop talking to someone, we just f*****g do it, and we don't talk about why. it's very frustrating, but it's something we all deal with, weather it makes sense or not.

there's no sense in getting hurt over it and no sense in blaming yourself. even if it was your fault, you gave her a week's advance notice and never had any solid plans set, if she's mad enough over it to stop texting you she's probably shallow rofl


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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2016, 6:00 am

Because she felt she's about to be coerced by your upcoming suggestion(s) of alternative days, she simply said Next Saturday so she'll come up with another excuse just before the next Saturday and hoping to get the hint and give up asking her again (she's not interested).

Girls are not idiots, they know that the guy's main motif isn't really about studying when he asks to study with them.



Lifeistoohard
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15 Feb 2016, 8:49 am

Looks like everyone's advice is different. All my friends told me don't be too forward since I only knew her for 2 weeks. They said a study date is a great way of "keeping it cool" for the time being.

Girls show interest like this a lot but the minute I ask them out, they lose interest. I have no idea what's going on. Maybe bad luck.



helloarchy
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15 Feb 2016, 11:00 am

Well it was Valentines day yesterday, I don't know if that has anything to do with it?


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Lifeistoohard
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15 Feb 2016, 11:25 am

helloarchy wrote:
Well it was Valentines day yesterday, I don't know if that has anything to do with it?





This. Probably the main reason why I didn't want a formal date. Way too romantic for a girl you haven't flirted with and only know for 2 weeks. Sure fire way to scare her off.



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15 Feb 2016, 7:46 pm

In my experience, if a girl stops texting you, no matter how well you thought you were doing before, it means she's creeped out and the 100% best option for you is to never contact or interact with her again. Don't expect or want closure; just put her out of your thoughts. Hope this helps.


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DateOfBirth
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16 Feb 2016, 3:20 am

She met someone better?



Hopper
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16 Feb 2016, 5:19 am

There's really too little data here. I could see many of the answers applying.

My guess is she took 'study together' as a date - as noted, the Valentine's timing could be a little heavy for a first date - which she didn't want (perhaps so soon, perhaps at all), and tried to put it off with a 'some other time' gesture.

I assume you have a class with her today. See how it goes.


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Lifeistoohard
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16 Feb 2016, 11:52 am

Damn, she just replied. Right before our class at 1 today. I'm a bit startled, but I'll brush the confusion off and hope for the best!



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16 Feb 2016, 1:08 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
No idea, just wait.

But IMO it can be a bit rude/pushy when someone gives you a day when they are available and you try to change it to a day that is earlier. By saying "Saturday" she is essentially saying she's not free to meet you before then, or doesn't want to.


But if the OP just remembered they can't meet up Saturday because they are leaving...what else are they to do, wait until Saturday and stand the girl up that day. I mean it seems that was really the only course of action if they are to get together within the week before OP leaves.

Granted in normal contexts it would be rude to just up and change the day...but if I had decided to meet someone Saturday but they actually couldn't I'd hope they try to reschedule instead of waiting till that day to tell me they can't actually hang out.


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