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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2016, 3:50 pm

It happened again.
Just got a text from my partner and she told me she can't pretend anymore that I am just her FWB - she admitted she fell for me, while knowing well that wasn't what she wanted at first.

She's a 41 years old attractive lady, I thought at her age she would be more emotionally in control than the younger women I've been with before, that she would be capable to enjoy the physical part without falling in love; but I couldn't be more wrong: in less than two weeks...she fell.

She said it's better to stop it now because there's no potential future for this (and she's right).
She cried and now I am feeling like s**t.

This FWB thing simply doesn't work without one being hurt at the end.

I will not seek for this anymore.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 16 Feb 2016, 3:54 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Uprising
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16 Feb 2016, 4:09 pm

You must've been too fun in the sack for her.



Tim_Tex
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16 Feb 2016, 6:17 pm

While I've had a FWB, I don't think I could have another one. I get too easily attached to people.


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Vomelche
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20 Feb 2016, 9:11 am

I never really believed this whole casual thing worked. At least not for most people.



Peacesells
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20 Feb 2016, 9:16 am

Why wouldn't it work?



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Feb 2016, 11:03 am

Peacesells wrote:
Why
wouldn't it work?



It works only if no one falls for the other or if both falls fo each other mutually so it becomes a long term relationship.

but if's one-sided love then it becomes hurtful to the loving one.



Peacesells
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20 Feb 2016, 11:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Why
wouldn't it work?



It works only if no one falls for the other or if both falls fo each other mutually so it becomes a long term relationship.

but if's one-sided love then it becomes hurtful to the loving one.

I don't understand why complain, bah. If girls don't like you, you complain, and if they fall for you, you complain as well. Please don't think bad of me, I don't really mean anything bad. I just don't understand.



rdos
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20 Feb 2016, 12:50 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This FWB thing simply doesn't work without one being hurt at the end.


Of course not. Why would it? You are going against nature with that thing.



Peacesells
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20 Feb 2016, 12:59 pm

rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This FWB thing simply doesn't work without one being hurt at the end.


Of course not. Why would it? You are going against nature with that thing.

No way. I have a friend who does it and the girls are ok with it.



goldfish21
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20 Feb 2016, 1:36 pm

I'd imagine it works worst for NT heterosexual couples.

But it can work OK for gay guys.. guys have a much easier time not getting emotionally attached when it's just physical, but some still do develop emotional attachments and want to date someone that doesn't want a relationship with them. It does happen, but not nearly as much as it does with girls.

Id imagine it's probably about the worst combination for a lesbian couple to try a FWB situation. :lol:

One more scenario where it might pan out OK is if both people are on the spectrum. Might be more... Spock-logical and not touchy feely about emotional connections. That's probably the best case scenario for a heterosexual FWB situation actually working out for both people.


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goldfish21
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20 Feb 2016, 1:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Why
wouldn't it work?



It works only if no one falls for the other or if both falls fo each other mutually so it becomes a long term relationship.

but if's one-sided love then it becomes hurtful to the loving one.


That's generally how dating works, anyways. Hookups, FWB etc are just the lightning quick internet age equivalent of the slow process of courtship of previous generations. Even in traditional dating, it's the same end result if one likes the other and the other doesn't really feel mutual attraction. So, just find another hookup/FWB and carry on until there's either a mutual FWB situation that works for both of you, or one that you both truly click with each other and want to be together in a more traditional relationship capacity. It's not rocket surgery stuff here. Just try, and try again. Rinse and repeat until you get an end result you're happy with.


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rdos
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20 Feb 2016, 1:54 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
One more scenario where it might pan out OK is if both people are on the spectrum. Might be more... Spock-logical and not touchy feely about emotional connections. That's probably the best case scenario for a heterosexual FWB situation actually working out for both people.


I doubt that. Many people on the spectrum quickly form strong attachments. For those FWBs will be like a mine-field.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Feb 2016, 2:30 pm

Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Why
wouldn't it work?



It works only if no one falls for the other or if both falls fo each other mutually so it becomes a long term relationship.

but if's one-sided love then it becomes hurtful to the loving one.

I don't understand why complain, bah. If girls don't like you, you complain, and if they fall for you, you complain as well. Please don't think bad of me, I don't really mean anything bad. I just don't understand.


Well, I am not sadisitc.... so I wouldn't feel happy from torturing someone.


And hey! I am stopping this, so you won't hear me complaining me again...on that at least.



Peacesells
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20 Feb 2016, 2:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Why
wouldn't it work?



It works only if no one falls for the other or if both falls fo each other mutually so it becomes a long term relationship.

but if's one-sided love then it becomes hurtful to the loving one.

I don't understand why complain, bah. If girls don't like you, you complain, and if they fall for you, you complain as well. Please don't think bad of me, I don't really mean anything bad. I just don't understand.


Well, I am not sadisitc.... so I wouldn't feel happy from torturing someone.
Don't feel like I am criticizing you, because I am not. I just don't get why you complain about romantic rejections from girls if you don't want to be in a relationship.
You don't have to like relationships, if you don't you don't. Don't torture yourself, the important thing is to be honest with them, which you seem to be.

And hey! I am stopping this, so you won't hear me complaining me again...on that at least.

Don't think that I am criticizing you because I am not, I just don't understand. Why do you complain about girls not wanting to date you if you don't want to be in relationships with them? That makes no sense.
If you like FWB you can keep it and if they fall for you just cut it and find another. Maybe you feel guilty if they fall for you but you didn't do anything bad if you were honest with them from the beginning.



Last edited by Peacesells on 20 Feb 2016, 3:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

rdos
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20 Feb 2016, 3:03 pm

Peacesells wrote:
rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This FWB thing simply doesn't work without one being hurt at the end.


Of course not. Why would it? You are going against nature with that thing.

No way. I have a friend who does it and the girls are ok with it.


Perhaps, but for how long? That it is against nature doesn't necessarily mean it will fail right away, but given enough time, it probably will in one way or the other.