Boyfriends & Jealousy

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Do every guy get jealous of their girlfriends ex-boyfriends? I know men get jealous, but why? They got the girl, there no need to be jealous. I know women get jealous too.

Either they fear loosing them becuase they don't think they are good enough or they are very possessive.

Exes frequently get back together. If the ex is still in her life, he may be worried that there are still feelings there and that the ex is still competition. And he might be.

This isn't true of every guy or woman for that matter regarding exes. In my experience, I've found that if I'm dating or in a relationship and I can mention an ex and my partner does not have a jealous reaction, that the strength and quality of the current relationship is often healthier than when I am with someone who is jealous of exes.

I'd feel like I'm in direct competition with the other guy. Like I've got to be better than him in every way or the girl would lose interest in me. Also knowing that my theoretical girlfriend was in a failed relationship will make me have strong doubts about the stability of our one.

I don't think Jeff will worry, I only had one ex-boyfriend & that was over 20 years ago.

I don't know if Jeff would like that I have a secret admirer, maybe even 2. Oh My God!!

...or 3, kraftie is a secret admirer of you.

I hope Kitty has a great time with Jeff.

I like Kitty...but only as a friend.

I know I do. When I was 18 I kicked the s**t out of my girlfriends at the time's ex. At her request of course. But man did that guy get a beating. HE deserved it though. He was a dick otherwise...

But yeah I'm extremely jealous. Which is probably why even after 12 years, i know relatively little about my wife's history in that way. I know the outline. And none of the people involved have any chance of crossing paths with me.

I think the jealousy comes in when people want to "remain friends" with the ex. Screw that. I would never be down with that at all. Either to do it, or to be with someone who was.

I am very possessive though (not in it's extreme, like you cant see so-and-so or go out etc). More like a dog with his favorite toy. Don't come near it. I'll growl first but the bite isn't too far behind so back up. That's a very love/hate trait with women. Some can't stand the idea, some love it.

I don't find jealousy to be useful at all.

Agreed. There is nothing good about being jealous, although it certainly served some evolutionary function in the past.

Personally, I don't want to know anything about a partners past, and I'll tell them that too. OTOH, I would be cautious if they tell me they have lots of exes, and that's a red flag.

I dunno, I'd think someone who didn't get jealous at all probably didn't care enough to. That's how I'd perceive it. So that's not the impression I'd want to send. Plus I, personally, have little control over it.

If I were talking with an ex (I wouldn't do this), or some woman was flirting with me and my wife didn't get at least a little jealous or irritated at it, I'd be sort of insulted.