Ladies, how do I look and what can I do?

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2 pictures of me
Here is a picture of me, I am going shopping soon for some new clothes. Never felt attractive and I am working on changing that, just wanted some girls opinion on how I look, if I have a shot, and what I should get clothes wise. I don't have much of a build but I am going to the gym.

You're doing pretty well. You look smart, but not like a neckbeard. If it doesn't cause sensory issues try wearing t-shirts with an athletic fit.

And try to get a haircut like this.

Last edited by DevilKisses on 26 Feb 2016, 3:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You look mighty spry for someone who is 822 years old.

You look too stereotypically geeky.

Geeks are the most unattractive stereotype in media: awkward, mama-boys, dorky, virgin, basement dweller, anti-social...etc.
With this, you won't have much luck in attracting girls, not at all. And I guess the reason why you made this thread is because you are starting to realize that, you are starting to suspect your ability to attract girls.

The good news though, you're veryyoung, BaneBear- you are blessed to hear that too early and hopefully to be convinced to change.

Change BaneBear, change your style, be way less geeky, at least in appearance.

Get to the gym, get a shape, get better glasses or do eye surgery if possible, change the haircut, get hobbies besides your geeky hobbies, wear perfectly tailored clothes (get rid of those baggy ones)...etc

Change BaneBear, change. Start now.

You look very young. That may be the biggest problem. You probably should start more intense strength training, depending on how long you've been going to the gym. It will help to make you look older and more masculine.

Other than that, there's nothing wrong with your appearance. You could wear some more sophisticated clothing, but I'd say your clothes are not the issue. You just have a baby face.

That's what I thought, but then I realised we're thinking Earth years.

Banebear - this is not the WrongPlanet website you're in need of!

How old are you, though?

In general, I'd recommend tidier and better fitting clothes that are in a style you like. I'd also recommend growing your hair out, seeing what happens, what you can do with it. Your overall vibe is 'utilitarian', suggesting clothes and hairstyle aren't important to you other than to keep comfortable. Which may well be the case, and in situations like this I'm torn between saying 'yeah, you'll have to change' and 'be who you are, because that's who you'll be to any girl that takes an interest in you. Just maybe smarten up a bit'.

Fortunately, it's quite possible to change to become more how we are. Better versions of ourselves. Life will change you anyway, so you may as well get in on the process.

But, I'm not a lady, and I'm not of your age group, so help yourself to a huge pinch of salt to go with this advice.

Listen- don't change! No matter what some other people say just don't do it. The best thing you can do is be confident - I swear. I know it's harder said than done.
I don't know how old you actually are but you look rather young. Being young sucks for pretty much everyone because everyone is insecure and wants to fit in. Don't fall for it- the trying to change yourself to be more liked or fit in. I'm sure you are an awesome kid and the right people are going to be able to see that if you stay just the way you are.

Now hygiene is something I think most ladies appreciate so just make sure you smell clean and are actually clean when you decide to hit the ladies up. Other than that just wear what makes you feel comfortable and most like your awesome self. The rest will work itself out!

If you'r happy looking how you are, change isn't completely necessary - you look completely average for a male, and having a good personality and confidence can get you far enough.

But if you genuinely want some help to improve:

1. If your hygiene isn't the best, work on it. Brush daily, wear deodorants (avoid colognes), trim the facial hair, shower daily, etc.

2. I suggest growing a beard to look a bit older. Is your lack of facial hair because of choice, or do you genuinely have trouble growing a beard? Remember to make it look as neat and tidy as you can. Nothing wrong with growing it as big as you like, as long as you maintain it well.

3. Hit the gym and start working out, along with eating a healthy diet. You don't have to be 'ripped' or anything, but at least try to get the 'thin, but fit' look, which is what I'm aiming for.

4. I suggest changing your fashion. I disagree with the idea of wearing slim, athletic fit t-shirts - plenty of males already dress that way, and besides, they only usually work if you're slightly athletic.

No, what I suggest doing when it comes to fashion, is to stand-out but still look attractive.

As you can tell from my profile picture, I like to try and dress sharply.

I suggest something akin to the best of men's 1920s fashion or the best of men's 1940s jazz fashion.

Only wear what you feel you can actually pull off, and what you feel makes you look the most attractive and confident. I do enjoy wearing fedoras, for instance, but can only look good in them when I'm wearing a suit, so most of the time I'll just wear the blue cap.

My wardrobe has laidback/regular clothes, but I also have my blue cap, diamond sweater vests, tan cargo slacks and black dress pants, black dress shoes, and dress t-shirts.

Make sure the clothes fit you well...

Here's a bigger view of one of the better photos I've taken dressing this way:

You have nice features imo. Maybe you could wear clothes that are a little less baggy.

The only thing I would say is maybe get contacts if you can. If I could change anything about myself, it would be not having to wear glasses. I think it's worse when you're younger. And people look totally different in glasses - I know I do. They said that I probably couldn't get contacts because my astigmatism is one of the worst they've seen. Whatever. I'm also too much of a scaredy cat to do lasik surgery.

Yeah...that cat sure looks cautious!

I wonder how metal-frame glasses might look on the OP. I think the clothes are okay--a good personality will offset any problems that the clothes might bring.

The OP looks like a tall and lanky person--which some girls actually like. I would keep wearing clothes that are somewhat loose. Definitely not form-fitting clothes.

I'm going to be honest with you (like I always am)

You look like kind of the geeky socially awkward type. You're not ugly by any means, kind of a cute nerdy looking guy. I'd say you're about a 5 or 6 on the looks which honestly is well enough. You actually don't have that bad looking of a face, you really don't. Kind of a baby-face.

But you do look a little skinny, you should probably gain some weight. And what I mean by gaining weight is hitting the gym, trying to bulk up a little bit. Then you will look even better. Some women won't like you if they're into the masculine type. Also wear some better clothes that don't make you look as nerdy.

Turn from the nerdy guy to the hipster guy.



I just think the fact that you're autistic like most of us here, your demeanor and social awkwardness may make it hard to attract women. Acting autistic can make you go down several points in the attractiveness department for a lot of women.

But the good news is that you can act less autistic by working on your body language. Don't look down or act scared when you're talking to girls. Talk with confidence, remember to smile with girls. And work on your education. And don't live like a slob like I do.

Oh yeah buy some condoms, never know when you might need em

Don't listen to her, you definitely do want to change. But she is right about one thing, confidence will get you places with women. Looking good will get you the good first impression from women but acting confident will get you some "woohoo time".

Change BUT stay true to who you are. For instance, you can lose weight, start showering, wear better clothes, and just look better but you don't have to change the fact that you enjoy playing pokemon.

The great thing about living today in the early 21st century is that it's perfectly okay to be into geeky things. However, it's not okay to look like a slob and give 0 s**ts about your appearance.

It's your body, you should take care of it. Dress to impress.

You look cute...nice smile.

You're very attractive. Make sure your clothes are clean and not overly worn. The way you smell and the way your breath smells is also very important.

You'll notice most of the people telling you to change are men. They may have felt insecure and felt they needed to conform at some point along the way. You will find that there are plenty of nice and attractive girls that don't want a guy who dresses and styles his hair like every other guy. In fact many are turned off by that kind of guy.

Based on looks, you are the type of guy I would date. However, I recall seeing many posts you have written, and due to the content I would not date you. So if you are running into problems finding a relationship, it may be because of your outlook and your approach.

You have a nice smile

I can tell you about my man, who only has a few clothes. He use often same clothes and it doesn't matter. Point is that he takes care that his clothes are always clean. He takes a shower every day and also brushes his teeth every day.

It's not clothes what makes a man attractive, it is a way you appreciate yourself. When you know that you are valuable person and you like yourself it shows like a self confidence and self confidence is sexy, believe me