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Hopeissweet
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03 Mar 2016, 5:39 pm

Okay it's a long story, so sorry for that. Bear with me please. Anyway, there's this guy who I go to college with and over time we become closer and now we are really great friends. I like him a lot. He has Asperger's, and he told me this last week. We're both shy people. I am wondering how I can tell if he likes me? He follows me basically everywhere at school and helps me get through the parking lot in one piece and when we have labs in class he always warns me to be careful when I handle beakers that are hot. I have no clue how to tell if he likes me?Should I look for the signs that a NT guy would show or is it different? Also his birthday is coming up and I have a gift for him but heard that those with Aspergers may not like surprises, so would it be a bad idea to give him his gift? Also just any advice I can get about having a friendship in general with an Aspie and how to support him and be there for him would be appreciated as well. I really like this guy a lot and want to know how to proceed. I've never liked someone so much. Thanks.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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03 Mar 2016, 5:53 pm

I'm no expert, but I think those things you mentioned suggest that he likes you.

For the birthday gift:
You could mention casually in text, or verbally, his birthday and that you have a gift for him. This will give him time to mentally prepare.

He could be wondering if you like him, and if you're giving signs he might not be able to read them. You may need to be more direct (as in, actually stating that have romantic feelings for him).



Hopeissweet
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03 Mar 2016, 5:58 pm

Okay. Thanks so much. I'm not sure how exactly he will react if I tell him I do like him, but I have to do it soon because I can't take not knowing if he likes me or not for much longer..and if he doesn't oh well I made a great friend I will be fine I hope. I will casually mention the birthday thing to him. Thanks again.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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03 Mar 2016, 6:05 pm

You're welcome :)
Let us know how it turns out.



Hopeissweet
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09 Mar 2016, 9:20 pm

So, I have not told him I like him yet. Our spring break is coming up soon and I have no clue how I'm going to get through a whole week without him there. Today was his birthday and I gave him his gift after school and I waited to see what he done with it when he got to his car. He was looking through his gift bag so me being the shy person I am got out of the parking lot at school really quick in case he didn't like it or something. Oh and he's been hinting around about going to get lunch Friday. So, would it be okay to say I plan to go to the same place he us going and then bringing up riding together so we can save gas?? I just don't know since I'm so shy and horrible at these types of things. Anyway, that's the update on the situation.



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2016, 9:35 pm

Saving money on gas is always good.

I went up 10 cents a gallon in one day out on in two gas stations in Roslyn, Nassau County, New York.



Hopeissweet
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10 Mar 2016, 9:03 pm

Update on the birthday gift topic.... Well, today he never said anything about the gift I got him. So could that mean he hated it or is it just typical behavior for an Aspie not to say anything about it?



kraftiekortie
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10 Mar 2016, 9:15 pm

He should at least thank you for the gift, Aspie or not Aspie.



Hopeissweet
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10 Mar 2016, 9:21 pm

Well the whole gift conversation went something like this: Me: Here you go, happy birthday. It's not much. Him: That's okay.
And then our normal conversation resumed.
And now I'm worried that he hated it because he hasn't said anything about it and I thought that he might say something since I wasn't around to see him open it.



kraftiekortie
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10 Mar 2016, 9:32 pm

I guess you wouldn't ask him what he thought of the gift? Maybe in an indirect way?



Hopeissweet
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10 Mar 2016, 9:44 pm

I could do that. I just have no clue how to go about any of that. I'm honestly just really shy and have really bad anxiety and worry about everything.



kraftiekortie
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10 Mar 2016, 10:53 pm

I doubt that he "hated" the gift.

I wonder if he, instead, is overwhelmed by it--by the thought that somebody would give HIM a gift.



rdos
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11 Mar 2016, 4:26 am

How to tell if a neurodiverse guy likes you: He looks a lot at you when you are not talking and he follows you around trying to be at the same place as you are. Both of those are pretty sure signs.



Hopeissweet
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11 Mar 2016, 6:30 am

Well he does follow me everywhere during the breaks we get at vocational school. Sometimes I wonder if I should just come on out and tell him I like him, but I'm afraid of rejection but I wonder sometimes that if I don't say anything that I will miss my chance.



kraftiekortie
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11 Mar 2016, 7:01 am

There you go. If he follows you around, he likes you.

Otherwise, he wouldn't bother following you around.

You can go talk to him. Like you would a friend.

But don't be shocked if he doesn't show romantic inclinations on the surface, even though he likes you romantically.



Hopeissweet
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11 Mar 2016, 8:06 am

Okay. Thanks. I mean he's basically my best friend and we talk all the time. I especially adore how he goes on about his interests and hobbies. Thanks again.