a new relationship

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I have been dating a gifted and brilliant man for the past 6 months. In the past 3 months his sometimes odd behaviour has confused me. In the past 3 months I have come to the conclusion that he has Asperger's syndrome, and our relationship is struggling now. Should I talk to him about this? He is 51 and in a great academic career.

Well if you don't talk to him then nothing is going to change. So if you think this is an issue then, for sure, talk to him, what do you have to lose? It sounds like the relationship is approaching make-or-break anyway.

It could be he knows (maybe he just hasn't told you), or it might be something that he wants to investigate further and see his GP about, or of course he might not have Aspergers, he could just be odd

However you have to bear in mind that diagnosis isn't a cure. If he is seen by a psych and formally diagnosed he is still going to be the same person with the same issues and behaviours. It might make him happier within himself and perhaps more open to try and alter some of things he does, but who knows.

Would it be correct to assume that your boyfriend is "married" to his work, rather than thinking enough about you?

This happens all the time with people who like ideas/the sciences better than human relationships.

I do hope things improve for you two, though. I do hope you could inspire each other in the near future.

Would I bring up Asperger's? It depends.

I don't believe you should bring it up directly, though.

Maybe ask him if he's heard of Tony Attwood and Temple Grandin, If he's heard of either one of those two people you can probably successfully broach the subject of Asperger's.

I hope all gets better soon in your relationship.