What is up with this?! N.T women, Aspie men?

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I see a lot of threads on this forum of N.T. women dating a man with Asperger's, Autism, or some variation thereof.

A pattern I've noticed is many of these women are coming here to ask for help and advice with dating an aspie male.

It appears most of the aspie males express interest, and then after a few weeks/months, suddenly lose interest and drive her away, making the woman feel upset, heartbroken and distraught.

Now, why is it, that, on this website, while about 90% of the males here on L&D appear to be single and struggling to find love, these other aspie men get into relationships easily with an N.T. woman who clearly loves them very much, only to quickly drive them away once they get bored?

I think about 80% of the single men here, and a fair few of the women here as well, would love to have an N.T. relationship where they are as loved and appreciated as the N.T. women asking for advice here are.

Am I jealous?

Probably, yes.

Who are these aspies, and how are they getting into all the relationships if they're only going to mistreat the person in the first place?

Also, why does it seem there aren't any aspie men or women here who are like this? Who dated someone for a few weeks and then drove them away?

I have seen some aspie men here mention once or twice they did date a woman briefly but had to break-up with her, but most of them don't say they lead her on at all or act like they love her and then completely break contact with her cold-turkey.

It's because most NT women don't understand aspie behavior. Women feel that they're distant of disinterested because their partner may not be as affectionate or forthcoming as a past NT partner, it's a very different type of relationship. I'd advise these women to read up on the subject for better understanding.

[OPINION]

Generally, aspie men seem more inclined to treat a romantic relationship like a "black box" - if you give the right input every time, you'll get the desired output every time.

Women don't work that way.

A smile, a squeeze, and the words "I love you forever" might have gotten you laid last week, but this week it only causes an eyeroll and a smirk. Next week, it might result only in laughter or tears.

So, apsie men might think instead that she has changed, that she is playing mind games, or that she never really loved him in the first place. He may be completely baffled as to why the behavior that she once thought of as cute and endearing is suddenly irritating and repulsive. He may eventually think that she cannot be pleased not matter what he says or does, and then he'll just go through the motions until she finally dumps him.

Meanwhile, the NT woman is likely to eventually think of him as robotic - that is, dull, boring, and lacking in concern for her feelings. Her contempt for his confusion, frustration, and lack of (romantic) social skills will grow until nothing he says or does is good enough to please her. She might think that he is stupid, that he lacks empathy, and that he doesn't care about the relationship. She will likely dump him soon thereafter.

[/OPINION]

Self awareness that leads to personal growth could be the difference. It might take longer to have a relationship, but I think knowing and working on your strengths and areas for improvement will lead to a better quality romance. The Aspie men described in these posts generally dont seem to be aware of the importance of personal growth, and might have several unsuccessful relationships as a result.

So it's always the NT woman's fault, right?

An aspie man is never at fault because he is the sole victim, right?

I say that when aspie men stop treating women as objects and start treating them as individuals, that is when those men will find out that their relationships with women become more fulfilling and meaningful.

Outrider, Most of those men aren't officially diagnosed , most of them are assumed to be aspies by these women because they have read something on the internet.

And most of the mentioned problems aren't even AS-related; being a**hole, drunk, lazy, sexless aren't AS related things.