Yep, its gone

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I hate my life now because I am too dependent on people. I cant change my perspectives. Bloody this stupid aspergers and hearing loss issues making my life such a lame involuntary celibate and so left behind lifestyle.

I had enough making energy to try to make my life perfect like everyone else especially NTs. Why at 25 feels like 10 years old?! Geeze I have missed thousands of social and communication skills properly.

I tried lots of things, like clubs, common interest and everything on the life's checklist that should prove myself happy and exploring. But couldnt make friends properly, get a girlfriend and have sex like normal world society people. I am 25 and so left behind because I am so fecked up screwing blowing up chances without knowing what I did is wrong. I felt like I did everything wrong when I try to say one word or one thing.

Had counselors for thousands of years. They never worked. its the people always making asusmptions and excusing me leaving me out of the normal reality of the world. That make me depressed and severely dangerous.

I have no idea what to do now. I cant go like on forget about things and try do yoga and that. No way. I am not going to try to pretend I have problems. That is wasting my time!

If the main cause of your depression is loneliness, than of course, the best idea is to try and meet new people and get possible friends/relationships.

Forget all the bullsh*t advice other people say.

Many people suggest learning to be happy doing things alone, but the people who say that usually have enough friends and family that they can choose to be alone and choose to switch back-and-forth - there aren't many people who are forced to be lonely due to lack of friends and family, who actually want to remain alone.
Quite the opposite, as many of them actually want to find love, and friendship, etc. through life.

I really don't know how I can help you do that, though.

Just like me back in high school, you've been doing all the right things, and I'm still doing all the right things, but it's just not working.

I am trying to find clubs and groups and ways to get out, but there isn't much in the place i live. At least you live in the big city, so there's that.

I will say I was going to arrange a WP Brisbane meet-up because I'm near Brissy and I know one other person on here who is as well, so maybe you could come to that. Don't know when that could be, though, expect anywhere from July this year to July next year.

I also think you've got to stop thinking of life as some kind of 'rat-race' - yes, life is a race, but you've got to remember as someone naturally disadvantaged since childhood, most of the rat-race doesn't apply to you as much as it does for N.T.'s and non-disabled people.

You should take your time knowing the only reason they're ahead of you is because they've all had it easier.

I am doing many things as well. I meditate, exercise, use aromatherapy, take a variety of health supplements, healthy diet, get enough sleep, work hard on my hygiene, etc.

To help m anxiety and give me confidence before a situation that makes me nervous, I take an anxiety-relief med, drink some green tea, a nurofen, and UP&Go drinks. After this I feel pretty invigorated for the day.

But it doesn't sound like anxiety is a problem you have. From your posts you actually sound quite confident and can approach people, but none of them understand you because of your speech problems or judge you.

What makes you think anyone's life is perfect? Everyone is fighting a battle that we, as individuals, know nothing about, regardless of whether they are NT or not. Just because someone's life appears peachy from the outside, it doesn't mean it actually is. There is absolutely no reason to act as if you are somehow the only one who hasn't figured it all out by 25.

Perhaps ecomatt shouldn't have used 'perfect', but I'm going to have to partially disagree with what you're saying.

Yes, 'everyone' may struggle in some way, but to believe everyone has it equally as good or bad is an absolute lie.

The vast majority of N.T.'s and people with normal hearing have experienced the same issues we have - family drama, possible abuse, bullying, etc. but we have all of these problems on-top of being disabled and disadvantaged in some way.

Ecomatt was born legally deaf, i think, and actually has a speech impediment. I saw a youtube video of his and, no offense ecomatt, but, while you are working hard to speak properly, the way you speak might make some people think you are 'stupid' or 'slow'.

Not my words, but just what I think society might think if they heard you speaking to them - don't hate the messenger (me).

So instantly for many people that's a dealbreaker or may drive many people away, as even those who are willing to give him a chance may find him too hard to understand and give up on him.

It's reasonable to say one may have it better than many other people in the world and their own nation, but it's perfectly reasonable to also say the opposite.

He feels delayed/immature/dependent at 25 years old in comparison to his peers. That's why I suggest he stop worrying so much about what others think of him and realize he should go at his own pace.

He may though, be just like me and impatient sometimes with how much they struggle. I am ambitious and want to overcome my agoraphobia and other problems, but it's hard right now...

"Just because someone's life appears peachy from the outside, it doesn't mean it actually is."

But it can be reasonably assumed many people who appear to have a great life were at least slightly advantaged in some way over you.

I think it's reasonable to assume at least 50% of CEO's were perhaps immigrants who worked 40 years to rise through the ranks, and pay their way through college, self-teach themselves other stuff on the side, to eventually reach that position and are now leading a successful company, or the other 50% are Mark Zuckerberg upper-middle class white kid types who could afford to privately hire tutors, attended private school, assumably had his parents pay him through college, and a programming experienced dad to teach him. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zuck ... _developer)

Want to be happy? Accept yourself and be unapologetic about it. We are only ever sad when we start comparing.

So what if you struggle? So what if you are clueless?

Embrace it so hard that only those who can attach to you in a healthy way will and all other strenuous relationships and obligations will fade.

Stop trying to be like them. They aren't trying to be like you are they?

I found once I said (and believed) "here I am world, like it or not!" the difference in how women treated me was like and day. For example, my fiancee confronted me about something I did in my past I am not proud of. I said that in hindsight I wish I never did it but I would never apologize for making the best decision I could with the knowledge I had at the time. You could literally see her attraction to me grow.

I wonder why these days people becoming later in serious things. I know marriage was an economic institution decades ago, though it seems on the trend that people prefer to be an 'I' rather than a 'we'.

Rise of uni and college degrees means people are later for their careers and relationships. I learned so many different aspects for this because my female friends told me they want to settle down first before doing something serious because of emotions. Like traveling, trying to finish their studies, want to help themselves like personal issues to deal with and that.

I learned that lot of people in my generation have a trend on anxiety and depression issues. More prevalent than the baby boomers generations. There seems so many society pressure influence happening that responsible of. I feel bad. Having disabilities doesn't mean I am indifferent to these NT people struggles.

But again, seeing the society people becoming an 'I' seems like nothing will help. Lot of older people told me they were once lived in a 'we' society, but what changed that is making them feel more depressed and isolated. The rise of mental health issues seems the cause of this.