Romantic Loneliness in Women

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This is in response to the "... in Men" thread. Romantic loneliness does seem to be more of an issue for men, though; judging by the prevalence of the topic in this subforum.

So, I'll start:

-someone who isn't constantly disappointed by who I am
-someone who knows when to give me space
-someone I'm physically attracted to
-a sense of humour
-an interest in politics and current events
-love of animals

Thing is though that I'm not going to go in pursuit of this phantom. People are not lists of traits, they are fluid and ever-changing. Better just to get on with things and maybe someone will come along, or maybe they won't.

Hi androbot, nifty idea for a thread!

-Someone good humored with similar interests and outlook on life that will accept me for who I am and not try to fix or change me.

Link to original http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=316229

Trust is probably one of the biggest things for me (honest, faithful). Aside from that, I guess I want someone who can be my best mate as well as my partner, someone that treats me like an equal & I can have a laugh with. A relationship where we get each other & connect even if we're completely different.

I don't know if you can do anything about it now, but when making a response thread you should post a link to the original in the OP so people don't have to go seeking it out just to understand what you're talking about.

So if it's just that, move the damn thread. The topic remains pretty clear anyway and explained. Whateva.

A mythical stuff for me in a non literal way.

A lake eh, we could skim stones to each other from opposite sides.

Call me old fashioned, but I think online relationships only work if you can actually meet the person to see if you click.

I haven't responded to this thread so far because it isn't really posed as a specific question. Wasn't the men's thread supposed to be about "what impact has romantic loneliness had on you?"

So the impact it's had on me is it's made me depressed. I feel like I have no worth. I feel like I must be really ugly or have a dreadful personality because no one wants to go out with me. I am always the only one at work, in all the jobs I've had, who isn't in a relationship. I'm the anomaly.

That crushes your self esteem and when you do meet someone that does seem interested and there is a real potential for a relationship, it's hard to believe that they actually do like you. The first thing is you feel suspicious. You question whether they do like you or are they just messing you around?

You get used to being on your own. You make other female friends who are also on their own and they tell you that if they can survive without a man, then so can you.

When you meet someone new and you start to stress out because you really like this guy, but your self esteem is shot to pieces by all the previous rejections, these single friends are concerned because you're usually not this stressed out. They tell you to walk away from him when the relationship hasn't even begun because they only see the affects of your anxiety which isn't actually the new guy's fault, it's just how you react now after years of being rejected and being used to being alone. Change stresses you out. This isn't your regular routine trying to fit someone else into your life after years of being alone and it is scary.

You need support, but your single friends think that you don't need this stress and shouldn't bother working through it. They tell you to stop looking like they have and that will make you stress free and happy. They remind you that you are not the only single person on the planet and that you can be happy single. You're not alone. They will support you (they mean they will keep you like them).

But while they keep telling you this you're falling in love with this guy that turns out to be quite patient with you and he's just as cautious because he's been hurt before too. And you ignore your friends advice because you're starting to feel comfortable with him and he makes you happy and you think that he looks happier too.

So you don't tell your friends about him anymore. And you learn to rely on your own judgement. Even though this is new and scary and may not work out. But at least you are trying to change and that is what matters.

I don't feel like there is any point in stagnation in life. I am not happy if I'm not making an effort to reach forward for what I want.

-someone who isn't constantly disappointed by who I am
-someone won't be turned off by my occasional negative thoughts/down periodes
-someone I'm physically attracted to
-a sense of humour
-an interest in current events
-someone that likes doing new things

An interesting read.
Thanks for making this thread.